Monday, April 28, 2008

Gayle - A Remembrance


Why Couldn't You Stay?

You walked away; you left us
Bereft, bereaved.
How could you go?
It wasn't your doing,
I know, I know.
Yet, how could you go?

Two years passed and gone,
Slipped away.
After you left, I'd think
I'll call her; I'll email.
Oh no! None of that!
You won't answer.

Now I know you're gone.
No thoughts of visits to come,
Seeing your face, hearing your voice,
The sound of your laughter.
Sadness lingers, emptiness remains.
Why couldn't you stay?

June Butler - 04-27-08

Yesterday was the second anniversary of the death of my sister, Gayle, from pancreatic cancer. I still miss her. The picture above was taken on the grounds of the Tower of London during a trip we made together. I stopped to take a picture as we headed to see the Norman chapel inside the White Tower. Gayle walked on and I caught her in the picture. For her memorial service, we searched for pictures to include in a small display, and I found this one - Gayle walking away from all of us who loved her. I have it framed and on my mantle. For me, it says it all.


  1. ((Mimi)) The picture reminds me of when my mother (who also died of pancreatic cancer) and I went to London and Scotland together. I'm glad you have the picture to remind you. The bittersweet memories are still gifts. Love to you.

  2. Jan, when I first looked at the picture after Gayle died, I gasped. It was, and still is, the perfect image to express my loss.

    The progression of pancreatic cancer is swift and sure. Love back to you, my friend.

  3. Hugs for you Mimi. Sisters are a wonderful gift of God. We may fight but we know they always care and in the end they are there for us. I do not know what I would do if I lost my sister. May you cherish happy memories.

  4. I'm sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't get better with time.

  5. I'm so sorry, Dear Heart.

    Pancreatic cancer took my mother too, almost 18 months ago. It is swift and sure and terrible. My prayers are with you.

  6. Brian, we have many happy memories. I'm thankful for that.

    Doxy and Muthah+, thanks for the hugs and prayers.

    Bubs, it changes with time. I no longer think, "Oh, I've got to tell Gayle about this." I did for well into the second year. Missing her will never go away.

    Kate, you know, don't you? The swiftness, in its way, is a blessing, because it's a nasty disease.

    Brian's sister has been diagnosed with melanoma. I'm sure that prayers would be appreciated.

  7. Oh Mimi- my prayers to you and for Gayle in her rest.

    It is hard, so hard.

    That photo and your poem- my breath stopped for a moment

  8. (((Mimi))). What an eloquent picture. Thanks too for the poem. Anniversaries are especially painful... Love to you, and thanksgiving for the blessing of Gayle in your life.

  9. Fran, Jane, thanks. She was my best friend, as well as my sister.
    My brother-in-law, her husband, liked the post. That meant a lot to me.

  10. The poem is beautiful, Mimi, and so is the picture. Losing a sibling is such a difficult thing, almost like losing a part of yourself. You are in my thoughts.

  11. Jim from Louisiana, thank you, neighbor.

  12. oh, prayers for you Mimi. and you are right, pancreatic killer is a swift killer. one of my colleague's husband died of pancreatic cancer also.

  13. Diane, Kirstin, thanks for the love and the prayers. Finding the picture was a gift. Although, it's bittersweet to look at, I'd rather have it than not.

  14. ((((((((Mimi))))))))

    Your love for Gayle is so beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing your poem with us...

  15. A deeply moving poem, Mimi, for a deep and sudden loss. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  16. I read this yesterday and didn't feel I had adequate words. I still don't but I wanted you to know I understand.

  17. DP, thanks. As I reread the poem, I see a bit of anger coming through - anger at my sister who died through no fault of her own. I understand that anger toward the deceased is not all that uncommon, although it doesn't make any sense at all. Oh my. What a revelation.

  18. I totally get the anger thing, Mimi. I sometimes joke with DF that if he goes and dies on me, I will dig him up and kill him a second time.

    It always makes him laugh at me, but I realized that I half mean it. The thought of him dying on me both terrifies me and makes me angry too.

    I intend to have a word with God about this whole death thing when I get the chance. It just wasn't a very good design choice, I'm thinking...

  19. Doxy, in some strange way, that's a comforting word. You made me laugh, too.

  20. Oh Mimi. ((((((((You))))))))

  21. Mimi, I love your poignant poem and most-appropriate photo. I'm sorry for your loss of a treasured sibling. My sister, born 2 years & 2 days after me, died of pancreatic cancer 14 years ago this April. On my next-to-last visit with her, we went to San Antonio, then to the beach at Galveston. Happy-sad memories.

  22. From diagnosis to death was only four months, but I had a good visit with her soon after she was diagnosed, while she was still feeling well, and then another sad visit, right before she died. It's hard to lose a sister, isn't it, Ginny? I'm glad you have the happy-sad memories.

  23. I'm sorry for your loss. One is never really prepared for a loved one to die.
    I'm glad that you had such a great relationship with your sister.
    Love you, mimi.

  24. I am sorry for your loss, Mimi.
    I love you.

  25. Mimi, I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem said so much in so small a space. You are loved by so many. Marilyn

  26. Lindy, Marilyn, thank you. I love you, too. Everyone is so very kind.


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