From deep south Louisiana comes a local front page story from The Daily Comet about a young man from a local high school who, at first, encountered difficulties getting a couple's ticket to the prom to take his boyfriend.
Alex Altenhein wasn’t looking for a fuss, and he didn’t want a fight.
"I just want to take my boyfriend to the prom just like anybody else would be able to take their boyfriend or girlfriend to the prom," said Altenhein, a soft-spoken H.L. Bourgeois High School junior, who learned the request was nowhere near that simple.
When his friends told him that he would not be able to buy a couple's ticket, he didn't believe them, so he went to the principal's office to ask.
"I said 'Is it true that I’m not going to be able to take my boyfriend to prom,’ and he said 'Your friend is going to have to buy a singles ticket.’ I said 'It is not my friend, it is my boyfriend,’ and he said again that he was going to have to buy a separate ticket," said Altenhein, who admits that he became emotional -- but not abusive -- during the meeting. "He said 'I believe I have answered your question,’ and showed me the door."
But Alex was not satisfied.
"The couple’s ticket says that me and Travis are going out, that we as a couple are equal, just as equal as the others, that we are normal people," Altenhein said. "That is the most-important thing to me for people to know. I am just your average Joe taking his boyfriend to the prom. I’m not the gay kid that you tell 'Oh you get a special little ticket.’ "
Good for Alex.
The local press became involved, and eventually the School Board intervened, and Alex got his couple's ticket.
Altenhein’s mother, Mary, says she is supportive of him and respects his sexual orientation. But she also fears that concerns about the prom will overshadow his schoolwork. And while she wants her son treated with equality, she is not so comfortable with him leading a civil-rights charge.
"I hope this makes a difference in that no one will be discriminated against again when they try to go to a dance,"
As a mother and a grandmother, I understand Mary's discomfort with her son's "leading a civil-rights charge," but I know, deep down, she's proud of him.
The pleasure with which Altenhein and Griffin greeted Authement’s [the principal] decision was tempered by reservations over how serious the school’s commitment to equality will be, and sadness that it should be an issue at all.
"It was not supposed to be like this," Griffin [Alex's boyfriend] said. "It shouldn’t be this difficult. It shouldn’t take the newspaper getting involved for that to happen. The damage has already been done. We shouldn’t have to ask for what is our right to begin with."
"It was not supposed to be like this," is exactly right. I am pleased that the story has a happy ending, but it should not have been such a struggle.
I have hope that those of Alex's generation will be much further along than my generation in making sexual orientation a non-issue. Here's a quote from one of Alex's classmates:
"I am not gay or anything, but I have a few gay friends," said Ian Wood, an H.L. Bourgeois senior from Houma, who signed the petition. "I thought we got past all that a long time ago. I don’t think it should matter who you go with. Why are they making such a big deal about it at school? I think it’s stupid."
I'll add that I'm quite pleased with the actions of the local press in this situation.
Wow. Kids today do the things that i could only imagine when i was their age. Kudos to them!
ReplyDeleteThey also see the injustice of having to demand what should be theirs by right, without question. That enlivens the hope in my heart.
Scott, it's a moving story, and I think the reporter handled it nicely. I live in a very conservative part of the country. We'll see if the letters bring in anything interesting. I'm thinking perhaps I should write one myself.
ReplyDeleteThere. I just did. I interrupted my comment to write the letter. I feel good.
Hi Mimi,
ReplyDeleteWhat a story! I put a comment on the Daily Comet forum about it.
At our annual meeting at St. Mary's today, I introduced a motion that passed in response to the Primates' ultimatum.
Also, you and your son are in my prayers for tomorrow.
Allen
Allen, for the prayers, thank you. I do feel peaceful, and my son seems in pretty good spirits. I believe it's because of the prayers of so many good people that we're not over the edge. It's out of our hands and in the hands of the God and the judge.
ReplyDeleteI read about your motion at your blog and wanted to leave a comment, but my church is so far removed from having anything like come to be that I didn't really know what to say. I might return later and say something.
I apologize for being so far behind on the blogosphere - but I thought I would relate a similar experience.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a junior in high school, we too had singles and couples tickets to the prom. I cannot remember the prices, but for the sake of this post, lets say they were $25 and $45 - essentially giving the couples a $5 subsidy.
My senior year, one of the girls in the junior class was a lesbian and she tried to buy a couples ticket for her and her girlfriend. It turned into a big drama-fest at the school. People got all up in arms about it.
Lo and behold, the year after I graduated, the school responded by making all tickets $25 a piece - you could still buy a couples ticket, but it cost you $50. Thereby it ended the heterosexist pricing.
There are some in the gay community who might say that was the wrong response. Personally, I see it as the right thing to do.