Maxine was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, she said, 'Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and tequila.'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
She looked up again and said, 'Never mind. I found one.'
After an all day marathon of unpostable jokes and a plea to send me something that I could use, Doug finally comes through.
I love it. The entire human experience captured in one joke!
ReplyDeleteOngoing peals of laughter followed by belly chuckles.
ReplyDeleteYou and Eileen are doing splendid work hosting while MP runs off and plays. (He says its something else, but he's really playing.)
Oh dear... Oh dear!
ReplyDeleteI had to work hard for this one. Doug was uncooperative for most of the day. This is a good one.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize you were that desperate. Here's an offering.
ReplyDeleteA rabbi joke.
A rabbi realizes on Yom Kippur afternoon that he wants to golf--the sort of drive you crazy desire. So after a brief struggle, he remembers the advice of the Talmud that if you must sin, go to a distant place where you won't be recognized, and therefore won't disgrace the Divine Name while you are disgracing yourself. [Yes, the Talmud does say that.] So he puts his clubs in his car, and drives to a country club two hours away, and begins playing.
Moses looks down from Heaven, sees him, and turns to God. "You have to punish him! A rabbi playing golf on Yom Kippur!"
God nods in agreement, leans closer to Earth, and blows air out of His Mouth just as the rabbi is teeing off on the next hole. The resultant breeze on Earth lifts the ball exactly so, and it lands in the cup--a hole in one!
Moses looks at God. "That you call a punishment?!"
God leans back on His Throne. "So tell me. Who can he tell about his hole in one?"
Grandmère Mimi:
ReplyDeleteUncooperative??? My gosh, MP would have used most of those jokes in a heartbeat :>)
Kishnevi
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one. Beats my Pope and the sandwich maker joke.
Kishnevi, That is a good one. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteDoug, love, I am not MadPriest. The naughty jokes did make me laugh, but I try to run a clean operation here - for the sake of the children, you know.