Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"Nigerian Spam"?

A satiric email phrasing Hank Paulson's giant Wall Street bailout as "Nigerian spam".

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson


Thanks to HolyFoolishness.

4 comments:

  1. This is priceless. : ) Good to see that your sense of humor didn't get washed out into the Gulf with everything else......

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  2. Rick, as soon as I received this one, I had to post it. I hope that I never lose my sense of humor.

    I was pleased that your old friend and my newer friend, Rmj and his family, made it through Ike safe and sound in life and limb, although a little worse due to wear and tear from loss of conveniences to which we have all become rather attached. He writes lyrically even about hurricanes.

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  3. Yes, I'm glad R.'s been able to break his radio silence, and he's been quite eloquent about the last week at Adventus. I just hope he can trade a little eloquence for comfort when the lights come on. He deserves it.

    I'm feeling a little guilty, as I've just spent the first summer of my adult life living without air conditioning--but in Santa Fe. A little warm a few afternoons in July, but, at 7000 feet, East Texas summers fade into distant bad dreams.

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  4. Rick, why on earth do you feel guilty about doing without air-conditioning? You're living greener that many of the rest of us. Good for you. Of course, your electric bills are lower, too. That's cause for envy. Also, you make me feel guilty about not living as green as you. I did it for a short while under duress, and it wasn't fun.

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