A baker's dozen for you:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
4. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
5. The patient refused autopsy.
6. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
7. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
8. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
9. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
10. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (Wow!)
11. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
12. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
13. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Could be sleep deprivation.
Some of this (especially the "circus sized" one) sound like errors in transcribing dictated doctor's notes.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of doctors, please pray for my brother Keith and his wife, Barbara. Keith fell and broke his hip today - the same day that Barbara found out she has rectal cancer. They're operating on Keith tomorrow, but don't know about Barbara yet.
That seems a bit scary...especially since my husband and I have both recently been in the hospital!!
ReplyDeleteBillyD, I don't inquire closely into the truth or circumstances of the jokes which I post. If they're funny, I laugh, and if they're not too naughty, I post them.
ReplyDeleteCiss, I'm glad you made it in and out safely.
...(giggles)...
ReplyDeleteI could show much more...lol...from my years as a medical attendant.
Shameful things from #1 Class peeps!!
But...I'm not one to Gossip ..So you didn't hear it from me!!
I'm not one to Gossip..
ReplyDeleteOh, come on, David G. Give us the skinny.
Oh, it's still funny, even if the MD didn't hand write it.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any chart errors to pass on from my time in medical records, but I do have a story about a jar of peanut butter and a patient who came in unable to void or, indeed, to walk... Well, maybe that's not suitable for a church-y blog.
...a churchy blog.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you think that, Billy? Is it the icon, the prayers on the sidebar, the Bible quotes? What gave me away?
A church-y politiical blog? A political church-y blog? Either serves, if you throw in the occasional dash of what I think of as humor.
Doesn't having dirt make it a churchy blog?
ReplyDelete{running and ducking}
Doesn't having dirt make it a churchy blog?
ReplyDeleteJane, of course! Good thing you ducked and ran, because I threw some at you.