Saturday, March 14, 2009

Doug And I Sink To Lowest Point

Q: How do you trap a polar bear?

A: Cut a hole in the ice. Line it with peas. When the bear bends over to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.



Redemption from the following?


Walking 20 minutes can add to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

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My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

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The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he?'
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years ... just getting over the hill.
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We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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I don't think so!

7 comments:

  1. Surely, this MUST be the nadir.

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  2. Nah, you can go lower. I encourage you both.

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  3. Sometimes temptation is too great, even for the worst that Doug sends, although I screen for the truly naughty. For instance, I would NEVER be as naughty as Oyster.

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  4. And you're planning to cross the Yorkshire Moors with Maddie, Mrs Maddie and a flock of collies?
    Did he say anything about a car??

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  5. Erika, for all I know, we may be hoofing it. The possibilities are endless, empty mine shafts, cliffs....

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  6. You and Doug have been very bad.

    I've got a great mental picture of you, MP, Mrs MP and a flock of collies on the Moors. Thanks Erika!

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  7. Sara, I know, I know. We've been bad.

    If I don't return, you will know....

    ReplyDelete

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