Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Thanks to Susan S.
Susan's "Law of physical surface" brought back memories of my grandad and his "Sod's law" which, for example, dictated that any dropped piece of toast will ALWAYS land butter side down. How true!
ReplyDeletePetty, your granddad was quite right about the toast.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children were young, I often found the "Doctors' Law" to be true. Unfortunately, with grown-ups, it generally doesn't work out that way.
delightful... I always enjoy being reminded of reality!
ReplyDeleteT
The Law of results doesn't work on my Telephone Company (former State Monopoly).
ReplyDeleteWhen I finally got my broadband installed last Monday, my feleton fell silent.
Only yesterday did I manage to make the TC understand that the phone doesn't work.
But no result so far...
Hey Tobias! Where ya been? Sorry I won't be there tonight.
ReplyDeleteGöran, sorry about your phone. What is a feleton?
ReplyDeleteI think it is a telefon, Mimi.
ReplyDeleteI had forgotten that I sent this to you!
Susan, thanks. Had it not come from Göran, I may have thought it was naughty.
ReplyDelete"The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug."
ReplyDeleteAnd are directly correlated to the number of pieces of bread you have left! (Like none!)
Thanks for the laughs Grandmere.
Mararet, thanks for more bits of life as it really is.
ReplyDelete"feleton" is the brilliant word of the father of Ron & al in Harry Potter, the one who works in the Department for Muggle affairs, and who is fascinated with Muggle technology ;=)
ReplyDelete