Sunday, August 16, 2009

Cold Feet

Tomorrow afternoon, I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist in the next town over for a consultation about cataract surgery, but first thing in the morning, I'm calling to cancel the appointment. I'm getting cold feet about having the surgery at all, and I'm not sure that I want this doctor to be my surgeon. If I keep the appointment, I'm afraid the whole situation will take on an air of inevitability, and I will end up with him doing the surgery, but not really being at peace with the decision. I think I want to go to New Orleans to have the surgery.

In my lifetime, I've had a good many surgeries, and I'm generally not afraid, but I'm queasy about surgery on my eyes, and I want to make the arrangements so that I can be as peaceful as possible about the procedure.

Say a prayer that I find a good surgeon and that I can move forward in this situation, as I seem just about paralyzed right now. I've already delayed for several months, not that it really matters, because there is no emergency.

28 comments:

  1. If you don't feel right about it - don't do it. My husband is a retired ophthalmologist -- he agrees with me on this.

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  2. Prayers for a skilled surgeon, a successful outcome and peace of mind.

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  3. Although all but one of the many, many folks I have seen go through this have come through with flying colours, they're your eyes and nobody else's. I'm going to pray that you find the one doc who is willing to talk with you with a gleam in his/her own eye that assures you even this can be approached with a sense of humour. Of course, if it were me, I'd wait until the last minute, and probly longer, and then I'd just adapt. :)

    Fr. Scott

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  4. My mother had cataract surgery a few years back. It was on my recommendation. I told her not to wait and lose much of her quality of life unescessarily. The operation was done privately - but my parents could afford it.

    It went very well. You should have seen her first letter after the operation. Before her letters had been an almost illegible scribble. After it was the same school mistresses beautiful writing as always!

    The point is, however, that the outcome depends on possible other ailments to the eye... and they are not visible behind an opach lense...

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  5. Have the surgery, Mimi, but with a doctor you trust. I hate to sound clinical about this but there have been lots of significant studies which prove that a key element to the process of healing is one's relationship with one's physician. Trust and confidence are very important elements to the healing process. Don't leave home for the doctor's office or hospital without them.

    And, you know you got my prayers. From my heart.

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  6. My mother had cataract surgery years ago, and described it as a very routine operation that greatly improved her vision.
    I share your squeamishness, but if it is a real chance to improve your vision, then do the surgery.
    I suggest getting more than one doctor's opinion before making a decision.
    I also agree with the others in their suggestion to find a doctor you can trust (usually through other doctors that you trust).

    You are always in my prayers.

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  7. I agree with having a surgeon you trust. My ophthalmologist sent me to someone he said was the best in the area and it turns out he was. I had cataracts removed from both eyes (6 months apart) and both surgeries went great. Prayers in finding just the right person.

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  8. Dear Grandmère,

         Like others, many folks I have known have been thrilled by the results. It's exciting that something that was once considered inevitable is now treatable.

         You're in my prayers!

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  9. Thanks for the prayers and comments. I canceled the appointment for this afternoon, but I will explore options in New Orleans.

    I watched my mother's cataract surgery from a microscopic video camera, as it took place, and I saw how simple the surgery was. Basically there was no recovery time for her. She walked out, and it was back to business as usual, with her vision much improved. She had the other eye done a few months later. And this was a good many years ago, when the no-stitch procedure was in its early day.

    I know that what I'm experiencing is irrational, a phobia, perhaps, about a cut in the eye, and I will get past it, but I'm relieved about not keeping the appointment today.

    Don't worry. I won't let myself go blind.

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  10. Mimi, A second opinion is always valuable. Take it from the one who had a surgeon scrub in on her hysterectomy and operate on her because it was department politics that forbade another surgeon stepping in, and the arrogant jackass crushed my ureter, and I ended up way down the road after many many procedures requiring a kidney transplant.

    GET A SECOND OPINION!!

    Love you and Prayers are ascending!

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  11. Mimi, don't do it until you feel that the time and the surgeon are right. Cataract surgery has come a long way. When my Mom had hers it was days in the hospital with her head sandbagged so that she could not move. By the time my Dad had his it was with the laser and he was home in a couple of hours walking around. Apparently it has great success, but you need to have that trust.

    As they say, minor surgery is what happens to other people; major surgery is what happens to you.

    Best wishes and prayers for a good decision.

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  12. My Mom had it done last year (good results), and Dad is scheduled for one eye next month. They are both 82.

    But it is essential that you feel it's right for you and that you like the doctor and the facility.

    I agree, cutting into the eye....ykcy to think about!

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  13. I've narrowed my choice down to two medical centers in New Orleans, one of them run by the surgeon who did the procedure on my mother. He was a Lone Ranger back then, but now he has other associates in his eye center.

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  14. Mimi, ma cher;

    Look around, talk to your opthamologist, interview as many surgeons as you need.

    I had my left eye done in February 2005. I was 57 and sight in that eye had been 20/200 since birth.

    The surgery removed the cataract and corrected the problem with the lens. My sight in the left eye was corrected to 20/40.

    I readlized that the sight in my right eye had deteriorated after the left eye was done and had cataract surgery on my right eye six weeks later in mid April.

    My sight was corrected to 20/20 in the right eye. Two years ago I had laser surgery on my right eye that restored my distance vision and will be scheduling the same surgery on my left eye for the Autumn.

    Like you I hated the idea of cuts in my eye. I also have a generalized loathing of surgery. Being a red head, I am very difficult to anesthetize and have woken up during every surgical procedure I've undergone to the great chagrin of the various surgeons.

    The best reaction was from the cardiac surgeon doing an emergency angioplasty. Second best was the plastic surgeon removing a cancerous lesion from my scalp.

    You have every reason to be cautious and you will make a quicker recvoery in you like and are confidnet of your surgeons.

    As always you are in my prayers.

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  15. Hope you find someone you feel comfortable with, Mimi.

    I had cataracts in both eyes removed when I was still in my 40s. They originally thought they could wait for years and years, but because of the location of one of them, light refraction in bright light caused a complete whiteout in one eye. I couldn't even see the big E at the top of the chart. Without the peripheral vision in that eye during daytime, I became very afraid of driving. It could see just fine in that eye at night time. The other eye wasn't so urgent, but since I had met my insurance stop loss with the first one, I wanted it done during that year.

    Of course, the insurance company dropped me after the surgeries. I had been with them for quite a few years. By my calculation, the combined cost of the surgeries brought me to about the break-even point with all the premiums I'd paid over the years without ever meeting the deductible.

    I liked the surgeon who did the first eye, but I hated the way his office worked in the followup period. I went to a different one for the 2nd eye and still go to him for my regular checkups (family history of macular degeneration, which so far has skipped over me)

    My experience was like most everyone else. The actual surgeries were rather fascinating, thanks to today's sedation techniques. The outcome was great. I no longer need to have the eyeglass restriction on my driver's license. It had been there since I was 16 years old. I did end up needing glasses for reading, so I have bifocals with blank uppers I wear most of the time (because I don't like fumbling with reading glasses).

    The best part is that colors are brighter and more vivid, particularly blues and reds. Cataracts have a yellowish tint to them, and color vision gradually becomes more and more yellowish as the cataracts develops. It's amazing to have that yellow filter removed!

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  16. Thanks for the prayers and the encouragement. I will follow through. The only symptoms I've noted are that headlight glare is much worse, so I no longer drive long distances at night, and I have trouble distinguishing dark colors unless I'm in very good light. Navy, black, and dark brown are hard to tell apart.

    Everyone I know who has had the surgery is pleased with the results.

    Gerry, it must be horrifying to wake up during surgery.

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  17. You have done the right thing by canceling the appointment when you were not comfortable with the physician. Go to New Orleans and find someone you feel comfortable with.

    Prayers for you to find the right physician.

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  18. Just adding to what every one else has said. My sister has had both eyes done in the last 2 months, great improvement. Now only uses reading glasses so I probably look older although 10 years younger :-)
    Several friends (must be our age group) report much the same, that the operation is a cinch. Like you the thought gives me the willies. Of course find a surgeon with whom you are comfortable. Prayers

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  19. Mimi,

    You simply must have a surgeon you feel good about. It is perfectly OK to shop and frankly, interview.

    That said, I have had the surgery. It is wonderful! When they take out the cataracts the surgeon puts in your prescription. I went in the kid who was born with 20-400 vision and came out 20-20. No pain, and for reasons that I am sure wont be part of your experience they had to use very local pain management.

    It is a safe and common procedure. And I am really glad I had insurance for it when I needed it.

    By all means find another surgeon. But I agree with Rev E (now there is a shocker!) do follow on it.

    FWIW
    jimB

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  20. Gerry, I "woke up" during the first of my cataract surgeries. Since after the initial bit of being put under to give me the local, to immobilize the eye area, the anaesthesia was supposed to make me forget. Instead I heard my doctor explaining to someone what they were seeing. I have somewhat hazel colored eyes and they were discussing all the colors present (yellow, brown, blue) in addition to what was happening surgically. I found it fascinating rather than scary. No pain, nothing to see (just blackness) and couldn't move. When I asked about it later the doctor told me about the anaesthesia. They used a different one for the second eye and I remembered nothing. Mimi, I hope this is more reassuring than frightening.

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  21. mother...

    I had a similar experience with my first cataract. The numbed the eye and injected a muscle relaxant so I couldn't move my eye and then gave me something to put me into "twilight sleep". This had no effect whatsoever and I remained awake listening to everything.

    Near the end, my surgeon asked the anestheseologist how I was doing and I answered fine. I told them I had never gone under.

    The second surgery they did they gave me a double dose and I went under but only for about five minutes. Kept quiet-- the anestheseologist was really upset that he let me stay awake the first time.

    All I felt was a little pressure on the eye.

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  22. Near the end, my surgeon asked the anestheseologist how I was doing and I answered fine.

    Gerry, LOL!

    None of you are scaring me - at least not too much. I'm letting the stew cook a bit more before I make calls, but at this point, I'm leaning toward the center run by my mother's surgeon. He's rated as one of the best doctors in the field of ophthalmology by his peers in New Orleans. The questionnaire included the question, "Who would you go to or recommend to one of your close family members?"

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  23. Mimi ... I too was "awake" for what seemed like much of both surgeries. The drugs prevent any anxiety. I found the whole thing fascinating.

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