The Company Christmas Party

Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He's not normally a drinker, and couldn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the bedside table.

And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So was the rest of the house.

He took the aspirins, cringing when he looked in the bathroom mirror and saw that he had a black eye.

Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror, written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick. "Honey," it read, "breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!

Jack stumbled to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper.

His son was also at the table, eating.

Jack asked, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? Why do I have a rose and breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replied, "Oh, that. Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!' "

Broken Coffee Table $89.99
Hot Breakfast $5.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . Priceless!

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.