DOIN' THE VATICAN SPIN...

...after doin' the Lambeth Walk.

From the AP:

The Vatican declared Pope Benedict XVI's four-day visit to Britain a "great success" Sunday, saying the pontiff was able to reach out to a nation wary of his message and angry at his church's sex abuse scandal.

Vatican spokesman the Rev. Federico Lombardi said the important thing wasn't so much the turnout — crowds were much smaller than when Pope John Paul II visited in 1982 — but that Benedict's warning about the dangers of an increasingly secularized society had been received "with profound interest" from Britons as a whole.

But how does the Rev. Lombardi know that Britons, as a whole, received the pope's message "with profound interest"? What is the evidence?

And if the crowds had broken previous records, I wonder if the turnout would then have taken on greater significance.

Prime Minister David Cameron, in his farewell speech before Benedict's departure ceremony, said the pope had "challenged the whole country to sit up and think, and that can only be a good thing."

At the same time, he seemed to take issue with Benedict's contention that secularization was taking hold more and more in Britain.

Ah, Prime Minister, if people sit up and think, it's possible that their opinions of both you and the pope might go into decline.

"Faith is part of the fabric of our country. It always has been and it always will be," Cameron said shortly before the pope left on a flight from Birmingham Airport. Benedict arrived back in Rome late Sunday night.

That was certainly evident on Sunday, as Benedict beatified Cardinal John Henry Newman before tens of thousands of faithful who paid 25 pounds ($39) to attend. This trip marked the first time pilgrims had been asked by their church to pay to see the pope.

Still a bargain, indeed! Only £25 to witness the pope send a deceased Englishman halfway to sainthood. Only one miracle to go and Blessed John Henry Newman bags the honorific of St. John Henry Newman and is assigned a place in the Roman Catholic Church calendar of saints.

Saturday saw one of the biggest anti-pope protest of Benedict's five-year papacy as some 10,000 people marched against him through central London, opposed to his policies on homosexuality and contraception and disgusted by the clerical sex abuse scandal.

You can't win 'em all.

Sunday marked the first time Benedict celebrated a beatification. Under his own rules, popes don't beatify, only canonize.

You make 'em, you break 'em.

And a good time was had by all, albeit at great cost to the treasury of the United Kingdom.

And the pope is safely ensconced back in his tiny state, the Vatican.

♫ Lambeth you've never seen,
The skies ain't blue, the grass ain't green.
It hasn't got the Mayfair touch,
But that don't matter very much.
We play the Lambeth way,
Not like you but a bit more gay
And when we have a bit of fun
Oh, Boy.

Anytime you're Lambeth way
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'ry little Lambeth gal
With her little Lambeth pal,
You'll find 'em all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'rything's free and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there,

Once you get down Lambeth way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find yourself doin' the Lambeth walk.♫

More lyrics: LyricsFreak

Watch the video here.

H/T to MadPriest at Of Course I Could Be Wrong, who had the link to the article first, for which I give him full credit. He urged us not to argue with the Vatican's conclusions, but I did anyway.