Devereaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Landry. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Betty Lou.I didn't see the punchline coming, and I had a hearty laugh on a day when I really needed a laugh.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Devereaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Devereaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Betty Lou staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Devereaux said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Betty Lou said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
Don't thank me. Thank Doug.
Oh, that's good. Trying not to startle my coworkers.
ReplyDeleteDoug should team up with Paul (A.).
ReplyDeleteThanks Paul and whiteycat. The joke arrived with several others, a few of which I had already posted, but the one above gave me the best laugh.
ReplyDelete