These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:Don't blame me. Blame Erika if you wish, but I don't blame her at all, because I laughed.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
So did I, Mimi!!
ReplyDeleteSelf-hating woman that I am, I laughed hardest at Billy Connolly's contribution.
ReplyDeleteWhat about that famous British hospital sign: "Birth Control Advice: Use back entrance".
ReplyDeleteNaughty, naughty, Chris. ;-)
ReplyDeleteFar be it from me to be naughty, Grandmère Mimi. It's an actual NHS sign at an actual hospital..
ReplyDeleteOf course, I did get the wording wrong, but the sense is the same.
Are these from Erika? Excellent. I laughed. I like the gay bull.
ReplyDeleteI once saw an ad in a Lost and Found column in the classifieds, from a bloke to his girlfriend, that read: "You've lost that loving feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone, whooh-ooh-oh." Never have been able to work out if he was a person with a very silly sense of humour or no sense of humour at all.
Yes, Erika emailed the ads to me.
ReplyDelete