Why Go to Church?One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going.""Why not?" she asked.“I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you WILL go to church, “One, you're 59-years-old, and two, you're the pastor!"
The PicnicA Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Being old friends, they began their usual banter."This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin and said, "At your wedding."
The Twenty and the OneA well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why, I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City; I’ve been to the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean.""Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!""So, tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"The one-dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been on the collection plates at the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Catholic Church and several other Churches across the country.”The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
Thanks to Ann.
Wait till the $20 tells the $1 about a g-string... ;-)
ReplyDeleteYes, I thought of that, too, JCF, but the title of the list of jokes is 'Religious Humor' so I suppose they were kept clean. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAll three made me laugh out loud! Thanks for starting out my day with some chuckles.
ReplyDeleteHow it warms my hear to make a Prairie Soul laugh out loud. :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel rather sad the poor old banknotes are going to be burned :(
ReplyDeleteI can't feel sad about banknotes. The feds want us to switch to coins for the $1 bills, because the paper dollars don't hold up, but the public doesn't want the switch.
ReplyDelete