Yeah, ya gonna wanna get me for this one, but don't blame me, blame Paul (A.)A man was walking home alone late one night passing a cemetery when he hears a BUMP . . . BUMP . . . BUMP . . . behind him.
Walking a little faster, he looks back, and he makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the sidewalk towards him . . . BUMP . . . BUMP . . . BUMP.
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him . . . faster . . . faster . . . BUMP . . . BUMP . . . BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and slams and locks the door behind him.
But the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping . . . clappity-BUMP . . . clappity-BUMP . . . clappity-BUMP . . . on the heels of the terrified man. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door, still bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something . . . anything . . . but all he can find is a box of cough drops!
Desperate, he throws the box of cough drops at the coffin!
And of course . . . the coffin stopped!
Cheers,
Paul (A.)
Besides Halloween is coming, which brings on the silly season, and, not only that, I may have already posted a version of this joke some time ago. I forgot the punch line and laughed out loud, and I hope you will, too.
A man, after a night on the pop, cuts through a cemetery and falls into an open grave. He's unhurt but can't climb out and eventually dozes off.
ReplyDeleteA second man, presumably from the same hostelry, also cuts through the cemetery and falls into the same grave. His efforts waken the (unnoticed) first man who says, "You'll never get out."
He did.
Ha ha. Boo!
DeleteThat reminded me of something that happened to my late mother.
DeleteShe was walking through the cemetery one misty November morning to visit my grandparents' grave. As she was strolling along a sound caught her attention, she looked round and, through the swirling mist saw a hand suddenly appear out of an open grave and grab a hold of the edge, quickly followed by a second. She turned and fled, only to be stopped in her tracks by a voice shouting after her "It's OK love, I'm digging it, not escaping".
Oooh scary.
DeleteAnd she was normally such a level-headed, no-nonsense woman. Just shows what effect an unexpected event, especially in such atmospheric surroundings can have on a usually rational mind.
DeleteWell, are you surprised? I think even the most level-headed amongst us would be frightened.
DeleteNot surprised in the slightest. We're all susceptible to the unexpected.
DeleteOMG was my reaction followed by groans.
ReplyDeletePaul (A.) is not to be found - not even on Facebook - to be blamed.
ReplyDeletePaul (A.), this is really bad! I am one of your biggest fans, but this one is beyond the beyond! You need to go into a witness protection plan on this one.
ReplyDeleteMrs. O'Sagan's favourite Halloween joke, so don't blame me:
ReplyDeleteWhy did the skeleton belch?
He didn't have the guts to fart.
Ha ha ha. Tell Mrs O'Sagan it's a good one.
DeleteWell, Mimi, you could blame me here.
ReplyDeleteWait; you already did!
Oh I do blame you here, Paul (A.), at every opportunity, but I don't know how I'd manage without your contributions.
Delete