- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Drunk gets nine months in violin case
- Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
- Farmer Bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Stud tires out - Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- British left waffles on Falkland Islands
- Eye drops off shelf
- Teacher strikes idle kids
More to come later from mycoted.
Thanks to Paul (A.), who sends his regards..."Cheers!"
Dear Paul A. - if we send a nice, polite note, do you think we might get the Brits to leave gin behind next time?
ReplyDeleteAnd we are relieved ... Farmer Bill had been known to wander far afield (we suspected dementia) - glad to hear he was not lost when found.
Oh, and the Iraqi ... the leader of a new prosthetic democracy to replace a surgical theocracy??? Inquiring minds and whatnot ...
Alas, Genette, it's very likely that we shall never know.
ReplyDeleteSome of the headlines are hilarious, time and again. I'm still trying to work out the story behind the eye dropping off the shelf. I agree. The folks in the Falklands would have much preferred gin.
The sheep in the Falklands, though, might prefer the waffles, and they outnumber the humans considerably.
DeleteAh yes...the sheep. Consider the sheep.
Delete"I'm still trying to work out the story behind the eye dropping off the shelf"
DeletePossibly something to do with a contaminated batch of eye-drops being removed from sale?
Although it may have something to do with the Tommy Cooper gag "We met at a disco. She rolled her eyes at me across the floor. I picked them up and rolled them back".
Eye drops...yes that's it.
DeleteWe met at a disco. She rolled her eyes at me across the floor. I picked them up and rolled them back.
I'd heard that one, but it's hilarious all over again.
Paul (A.) VERY funny. We always have little breaks at convention for funny but clean stories. I wish I'd had these to submit.
ReplyDeleteAnd to Grandmere and Acolyte of Sagan--The story about the elderly gentleman traveling to a, ahem, lecture at 2:00 am was told to much appreciation and applause and the vampire on the bonnet--Sister Mary/Sister Bernadette--story was also selected and read to much applause and appreciation. So, thank you both for the laughter.
The convention was really inspiring and full of many good ideas. BUT, and no matter what, this is always my favorite part. I always love to hear our bishop say these words and was not disappointed. "Jesus Christ walks among you."
Bonnie, I'm glad the jokes got some laughs.
DeleteIt's good your convention was inspiring, and I like your bishop's words, too.
Glad to have been of service, Bonnie, and that you had a ball, as they say round these parts.
DeleteAcolyte of Sagan--I do so love that very dry British WIT. Thanks!
DeleteThe newest term this year for "had a ball" was "funner." And it was "funner" this year.
A funner convention. How satisfying. I could never be a delegate, because I cannot wrap my mind around the finer points of canons. I just can't. My three years on the church vestry cured me of any notion that I belonged there.
DeleteSorry to hear that. Guess we are just the opposite. I would never serve on the vestry but convention can be fun and not always dedicated to anything concerning the finer points of the canons.
DeleteThe BUDGET is always a pain in the neck. Along with the budget we had three other resolutions and they weren't controversial. We elected people to fill vacant office and board positions and talked about mission. Our theme was From Maintenance to Mission: Walk in the Way, Widen the Walls, Wake up the World.
Last year we had a lot of resolutions and the one that had the potential to generate a whole lot of heat died in committee.
I've always said that the quickest way to kill an idea is to form a committee to discuss it.
DeleteBonnie, trying to read or listen to legalese or canon law language causes my brain to switch off. And honestly, in all my years in the church, I'm still fuzzy about the meaning of mission in church talk.
DeleteAofS, trying to explain a joke is often the quickest way to kill a joke. :-)
Delete