BOROWITZ REPORT - ROMNEY HAILED IN BEIJING

Chinese Workers Hail Romney’s Record as Job Creator

Mass Pro-Romney Rally in Beijing

BEIJING (The Borowitz Report) – After a brutal week in which he was booed by the NAACP and grilled by the media, Republican presidential choice Mitt Romney got some support from an unlikely place today: Beijing.

Manufacturing workers from across China flooded downtown Beijing to show their gratitude for Mr. Romney’s robust record of job creation in China while at the helm of the private equity firm Bain Capital.

Ha, ha, ha!

Read the rest.

UPDATE: And there's Doonesbury on the same subject.

'BIG TROUBLE FOR ROMNEY'

Romney Under Pressure to Prove He Was Manufactured in US

Rivals Demand He Produce Label

Read the rest at Borowitz Report.

I don't know about you, but I want to see Romney's long-form birth certificate with the official stamp, that is, if he's not a Ken doll in disguise.

BOROWITZ REPORTS...

SURPRISING LOVE ADVICE

Falling in Polls, Romney Considers Adultery

Huddles with Advisors About Possible Affair

Read the rest at Borowitz Report.

Ha, ha, ha! Andy's wonderfully, bitingly funny.

BOROWITZ REPORTS...

November 8, 2011

Berlusconi Steps Down; Will Run National Restaurant Association

‘A Dream Job for Me,’ Says Italian PM

Oh boy! Did I ever need this laugh!

Read it all at Borowitz Reports.

'IF RICK PERRY IS PRESIDENT'

Canada to Build Twenty-foot Fence if Perry Elected

Could Be Electrified, Border Officials Warn

From the Borowitz Report.

DON'T BLAME ME - BLAME BOROWITZ

Borowitz Report - Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate

Read it all.

I know. Wicked, wicked, wicked.

"THESE SHORTAGES WILL AFFECT YOU"

From the Borowitz Report:

Exporting Democracy Has Led to Shortages of it in U.S., Experts Say

Wisconsin, Florida Hardest Hit

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The U.S. policy of exporting democracy abroad has meant that there is very little of it left at home.

That is the grim assessment of a new study commissioned by the University of Minnesota, which predicts that if the U.S. continues to export democracy at its current pace it may completely run out of it at home by the year 2015....

Read the rest over there. Borowitz has a special treat for you, a picture of the man with the tan, John Boehner.

Let me think. That's only 4 years away. Grim, indeed. I could still be around. The predictions that jump ahead to 2025 or 2040 don't worry me much, because know I will have left this good earth, but for my ashes. I do feel a bit sorry for the rest of y'all, though.

ABOUT THAT BLIZZARD

From the Borowitz Report:

Pat Robertson: Snow Is God's Way of Punishing Americans Who Were Planning to Drive to Do Something Gay

Treacherous Roads Part of Almighty’s Strategy, Says Televangelist (Irony alert!)

There's more. Read the rest at the website.

BOROWITZ REPORT PERSON OF THE YEAR

Borowitz Report Names its Person of the Year

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – The Borowitz Report has named Sarah Palin its Person of the Year.

And the year is 1641.

Happy Holidays from The Borowitz Report!

Share this greeting with someone you love here.

From The Borowitz Report.



And I love you, my readers, so I share with you.