This year, I've not kept a very good Lent. I am not any longer settled in my mind about the meaning of a good Lent. I think, for me, it's not so much about giving up something I like, as it is about doing something good and positive. I made two Lenten resolutions: to be on time to Sunday services and to attend the Lenten meditations on Thursday evenings at my church. I've kept the resolution to arrive in good time on Sunday pretty well. I've was a little late only once. I failed the Thursday test across the board. In my conscious mind I wanted to attend, but I forgot every single Thursday.
In addition, I've been playing around in my mind with confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation. I've reached one conclusion: Jesus was wise to teach us to forgive 70 times 7. I take Jesus' words on forgiveness seriously. Whether I forgive or not is a choice, but if I choose to hold on to resentment and unforgiveness, I know that I do wrong. I believe that forgiveness begins with an act of the will, which step I can only take with the help of God's grace. I've come to understand that forgiveness does not consist in feelings - warm and fuzzy feelings toward those to whom I extend forgiveness. However, I pray that my feelings will eventually line up with my will to forgive. When and if the feelings come in line, the entire process becomes easier.
I've also learned that once I've forgiven an offense, it's not necessarily a done deal forever and ever, amen. I realize that, at times, I must forgive the same damned offense over and over. That's when Jesus' answer to the question of how many times we must forgive comes alive. For me, the key is not to be defeated when hard feelings return toward the person who committed the offense that I thought was settled and forgiven, but to forgive all over again. I speak of persons both living and dead.
Do I wait to forgive until the person who offended asks forgiveness? Jesus did not, therefore I must not either. Besides, some people never ask forgiveness. Those pesky words in
The Lord's Prayer, in which I ask God to forgive me as I forgive others simply do not go away, however much I would sometimes wish them to.
In purely human terms, I believe that harboring resentment and unforgiveness is unhealthy to the point of being poisonous.
Perhaps the "playing around in my mind with confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation" will serve as a home Lenten meditation.
Thus endeth the sermon.
And I cheated by getting your attention with a cartoon sent by Ann. Please forgive me.
