I planted some bird seed.
A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it
********************
I had amnesia once---or twice
********************
I went to San Francisco .
I found someone's heart. Now what?
********************
Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
********************
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
********************
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
********************
They told me I was gullible
and I believed them.
********************
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
********************
Experience is the thing you have left
when everything else is gone.
********************
One nice thing about egotists:
they don't talk about other people.
********************
My weight is perfect for my height--
which varies.
********************
I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
********************
How can there be self-help "groups"?
********************
If swimming is so good for your figure,
how do you explain whales?
********************
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
********************
Is it me --or
do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
********************
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN,
YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE,
SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
Thanks to my brother-in-law, who promised to send me only his best.
