A Jewish man was buying some items in a supermarket when he saw a black woman trying to get her young child to put down a candy bar he had picked off the shelf.
'Latrell,' she addressed him firmly. 'You put that down right now! It's not kosher!'
Intrigued, the young man decided to investigate. 'Excuse me, ma'am, are you Jewish?'
'No,' replied the black woman .
'So why did you say that?' he asked.
'Why? I'll tell you why. Because I see all the Jewish mothers saying that to their kids -- and it works, so I decided to try it.'
A clean one from Doug.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
For Better Or For Worse
From Mark Harris at Preludium:
Most of my friends find it curious and just a bit appalling that Anglicans are spending so much time in solemn and serious infighting concerning moral (read sexual) issues. They wonder for our sanity. They mostly do not pay much attention to the details of the arguments.
I do pay attention. I have tried to listen to the voices that say again and again that sex between persons of the same sex is evil and I have heard their argument from scriptural restrictions. I am and remain unconvinced.
I was recently asked just exactly where I stand regarding the morality of homosexual sex, aka "homosexual behavior." So here is a response. No surprise, I am sure.
At the last, after all the arguments to the contrary, I still believe that sexual expression between persons of the same sex is no more evil or good than is sexual expression between men and women. And the Church's statement from General Convention 1990 that "physical sexual expression is appropriate only within the lifelong monogamous union of husband and wife" is totally inadequate. Sexual intercourse encompasses such a wide variety of "physical sexual expression" that no opinion about the moral value of such intercourse or expression, based on the anatomical characteristics of the participants or the purpose of sex as procreative, can hold as sufficient.
As to marriage, I am convinced that holiness of marriage is not in marriage, but in God's blessing on people committed to life long companionship. I see no reason to suppose that God does not, or can not, bless such commitments when they are other than between a man and a woman. The Church ought do no less.
....
I believe Christians are ill equipped to condemn persons of the same sex who are in love with one another for acting on that love in physical ways or for seeking ways to establish and maintain commitment to one another and for seeking blessing from God and the community. Moreover, given the realities of past Christian willingness to condone a wide variety of moral behavior that we would now consider reprehensible and the tendency to resist change from that behavior, the Church carries a beam in its own eye and has no business demanding that others remove the speck (if there is one) in their own.
....
The Word of God is our constant companion. That Word is a comfort, always with us, but is also uncomfortable in its provocative call to live not for ourselves but for others. But that Word is not the writings on the page itself, rather the Scripture is a gateway into the Word. (Emphasis mine)
Oh that I could have written those words! But - alas! - I rely on Mark's words, because I lack his eloquence and deep spirituality. He states my position far better than I ever could. Several years ago, in my own bumbling, stumbling, labyrinthine way, I arrived at the same conclusions as Mark and many others far more learned and schooled than I, mostly without input from folks like Mark, but simply by reading the Scriptures prayerfully, with special emphasis on the Gospels.
Most of my friends find it curious and just a bit appalling that Anglicans are spending so much time in solemn and serious infighting concerning moral (read sexual) issues. They wonder for our sanity. They mostly do not pay much attention to the details of the arguments.
I do pay attention. I have tried to listen to the voices that say again and again that sex between persons of the same sex is evil and I have heard their argument from scriptural restrictions. I am and remain unconvinced.
I was recently asked just exactly where I stand regarding the morality of homosexual sex, aka "homosexual behavior." So here is a response. No surprise, I am sure.
At the last, after all the arguments to the contrary, I still believe that sexual expression between persons of the same sex is no more evil or good than is sexual expression between men and women. And the Church's statement from General Convention 1990 that "physical sexual expression is appropriate only within the lifelong monogamous union of husband and wife" is totally inadequate. Sexual intercourse encompasses such a wide variety of "physical sexual expression" that no opinion about the moral value of such intercourse or expression, based on the anatomical characteristics of the participants or the purpose of sex as procreative, can hold as sufficient.
As to marriage, I am convinced that holiness of marriage is not in marriage, but in God's blessing on people committed to life long companionship. I see no reason to suppose that God does not, or can not, bless such commitments when they are other than between a man and a woman. The Church ought do no less.
....
I believe Christians are ill equipped to condemn persons of the same sex who are in love with one another for acting on that love in physical ways or for seeking ways to establish and maintain commitment to one another and for seeking blessing from God and the community. Moreover, given the realities of past Christian willingness to condone a wide variety of moral behavior that we would now consider reprehensible and the tendency to resist change from that behavior, the Church carries a beam in its own eye and has no business demanding that others remove the speck (if there is one) in their own.
....
The Word of God is our constant companion. That Word is a comfort, always with us, but is also uncomfortable in its provocative call to live not for ourselves but for others. But that Word is not the writings on the page itself, rather the Scripture is a gateway into the Word. (Emphasis mine)
Oh that I could have written those words! But - alas! - I rely on Mark's words, because I lack his eloquence and deep spirituality. He states my position far better than I ever could. Several years ago, in my own bumbling, stumbling, labyrinthine way, I arrived at the same conclusions as Mark and many others far more learned and schooled than I, mostly without input from folks like Mark, but simply by reading the Scriptures prayerfully, with special emphasis on the Gospels.
The Swollen Mississippi River
The photo above is taken from the top of the levee at the Rivertown pier in Kenner, Louisiana, a suburb west of New Orleans. The trees in the water are on the bank of the river in normal times, but the river is high now because of heavy rains and snow north of us. The Bonnet Carré Spillway, west of New Orleans has been opened to divert water from the river to Lake Pontchartrain, north of New Orleans, to relieve pressure on the levees at New Orleans and below the city.
Below is a pile of debris deposited next to the pier at Rivertown.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
"Small Town Blues"
On our way to New Orleans, we listened to "Small Town Blues" by Ruthie Foster from her CD, "Runaway Soul". I'd almost think that the song was written for me. These words from the song resonate strongly.
I've got the low-dirty-livin-in-a smalltown blues
And I'm runnin' out of things to do
I don't need no pity, just drop me in a city
I've got to feel the rhythm runnin' down in my shoes
My town is a perfectly nice town. There's not a whole lot I'd say against it, except that it's not a city, especially, it's not that one special city that I still miss so much. That's it. I'm a city "girl". Now that I'm no longer a girl, I'm probably much better off living in my town with a population of 17,000 people, rather than a city, but how can I be sure? And I never run out of things to do. And I thank God that I am never ever bored. But I am a city person, pretty much a one-special-city person.
Goodbye Mom
Hope this touches you the way it touched me!
GOODBYE MOM
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, 'I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son.'
He answered, 'That's okay.'
'I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy.'
She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, 'Goodbye, Mom.'
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone's day, he went to pay for his Groceries.
'That comes to $121.85,' said the clerk.
'How come so much . I only bought 5 items..'
The clerk replied, 'Yeah, but your Mother said You'd be paying for her things, too.'
Don't trust little Old Ladies!!!
GOTCHA!
From Doug. He's a good man.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Gone For The day
Yes! Yes! I'm off to visit the place I've known what it means to miss for 46 years.
Have good clean fun while I'm away. I'll see you when I get back.
From The Crowd At Yankee Stadium
Here for your reading pleasure are a few comments from the crowd at Yankee Stadium for Pope Benedict's mass:
"I have never seen Yankee Stadium so beautiful, and I have season's tickets," said Philip Giordano, 49, a tax attorney from Greenwich, Conn., who won seats in the loge section behind home plate through a parish lottery. "It sure beats sitting in my local church.
How's that for gratitude?
Added his wife, Suzanne: "I'm hoping to feel something from (Benedict). Everyone who has seen him says they crumple, their knees buckle. You come away just feeling different."
And my favorite from my home boy and sweetie:
New Orleans crooner Harry Connick Jr., on the pre-Mass concert program, remarked that he is often asked if he's a practicing Catholic.
"Practicing?" he said. "I'm playing for the pope today." (my emphasis)
From the Associated Press.
"I have never seen Yankee Stadium so beautiful, and I have season's tickets," said Philip Giordano, 49, a tax attorney from Greenwich, Conn., who won seats in the loge section behind home plate through a parish lottery. "It sure beats sitting in my local church.
How's that for gratitude?
Added his wife, Suzanne: "I'm hoping to feel something from (Benedict). Everyone who has seen him says they crumple, their knees buckle. You come away just feeling different."
And my favorite from my home boy and sweetie:
New Orleans crooner Harry Connick Jr., on the pre-Mass concert program, remarked that he is often asked if he's a practicing Catholic.
"Practicing?" he said. "I'm playing for the pope today." (my emphasis)
From the Associated Press.
Rose - Friedman - Incredible!
Watch this clip from The Charlie Rose Show with his guest Tom Friedman, from May 30, 2003, three months after we invaded Iraq.
Charlie Rose: "Now that the war is over, and there's some difficulty with the peace, was it worth doing?"
Friedman says yes it was. We could have invaded Saudi Arabia or Pakistan, or just pick a country, any country in the Middle East to invade, but we had to prick that bubble and show our muscle and show we meant business.
They said the war was over five years ago. Well, our president, dressed up in his sexy flight suit, had told us all that the mission was accomplished on May 1, 2003, so can you blame them?
Do they ever replay the shows that display them uttering such blithering idiocies?
Tom Friedman still writes for the New York Times, and Charlie Rose still has a show on PBS.
And Bush is still president for 273 more days.
Video clip from Atrios at Eschaton.
Let's Celebrate Monday Morning!
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes,"' I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything....
From Doug.
My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes,"' I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
So you see, there really are two ways to look at everything....
From Doug.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Looking Inside
Clumber at Barkings of an Old Dog started me off with a link to a blog post by a woman, a former member of the Episcopal Church, who has now withdrawn from the church. I will not name her, nor will I give a link. If you want to read her post, Clumber has a link at his site.
She said this:
The Gospel of the Church of Self Affirmation just doesn't make sense to me. At some point, if you're an average priest or church leader or social activist in a church like TEC, do you reach the bottom of yourself and find that there's nothing there? That there's not enough? And when you get there, what do you do? More work?
You look inside yourself, honestly find that you fall short, that you have a dark rotten mess for a heart and guts, throw yourself on the mercy of God, find that he forgives you, covers you with his righteousness and gives you the Holy Spirit. So that the next time you look down into your heart, you might still see the dark rotten mess, but you also see the power of God making it better. So when you come to a point of not having Enough, of not being able to Save yourself, God gives you the measure that you need and you actually get to rest, not do more work.
But since this isn't available to so many clergy in TEC, having to be good on their own power, in themselves, what takes them that extra distance?
Other folks left comments and then my friend Jane left a comment"
Jane R said...
Where in the world did you get the idea that people in TEC don't believe in grace? (I'm not being snarky.) We might not all have a Calvinist understanding of it, but I haven't run into any lay or ordained people who don't have a sense of God's gracious initiative. I do think TEC and the Anglican Communion have within them some significant divides, and some of them do involve soteriology, but I think that is different from what you are saying. Are you saying TEC leaders are all Pelagians? Or don't pray? (Actually, Pelagians and semi-Pelagians do pray, but that is another conversation.) Or don't rely on God in their daily lives?
And then other comments came in culminating in the seemingly inevitable conclusion that Bishop Katharine is a heretic. Discussions so often seems to end up with that conclusion. And then I left a comment:
Grandmère Mimi said...
...I know that I often fall short, and I know that I am in need of God's saving grace every single day of my life, but, honestly, I don't look inside myself and find "a dark rotten mess for a heart and guts". Jesus became man and lived and walked among humans just like us. He taught them and healed them and loved them. Then he was nailed to the cross and died and rose again giving to them and to us who follow him the victory over sin and death. I am redeemed by Our Lord Jesus Christ. I am God's beloved. How can I look inside myself and find what you describe? What is redemption, then? What does it count for?
Do Jane's comment and mine sound like the Gospel of Self Affirmation? The two of us say grace is vital to our lives as Christians. Do we, indeed, all of us in TEC, fall outside the bounds of God's grace? Do we reach for the gift of grace only to have it withheld from us? Do we reach down to the bottom of ourselves and find nothing there? Must we be good on our own? In a word, no.
Indeed, God's gift of grace is given freely; it is lavishly bestowed, poured out in abundance, before we even ask. If we quiet ourselves and center ourselves and reach down inside, we will find not a "dark rotten mess for a heart and guts", but the very presence of the living God, the same God who is always present, if we will only take note.
She said this:
The Gospel of the Church of Self Affirmation just doesn't make sense to me. At some point, if you're an average priest or church leader or social activist in a church like TEC, do you reach the bottom of yourself and find that there's nothing there? That there's not enough? And when you get there, what do you do? More work?
You look inside yourself, honestly find that you fall short, that you have a dark rotten mess for a heart and guts, throw yourself on the mercy of God, find that he forgives you, covers you with his righteousness and gives you the Holy Spirit. So that the next time you look down into your heart, you might still see the dark rotten mess, but you also see the power of God making it better. So when you come to a point of not having Enough, of not being able to Save yourself, God gives you the measure that you need and you actually get to rest, not do more work.
But since this isn't available to so many clergy in TEC, having to be good on their own power, in themselves, what takes them that extra distance?
Other folks left comments and then my friend Jane left a comment"
Jane R said...
Where in the world did you get the idea that people in TEC don't believe in grace? (I'm not being snarky.) We might not all have a Calvinist understanding of it, but I haven't run into any lay or ordained people who don't have a sense of God's gracious initiative. I do think TEC and the Anglican Communion have within them some significant divides, and some of them do involve soteriology, but I think that is different from what you are saying. Are you saying TEC leaders are all Pelagians? Or don't pray? (Actually, Pelagians and semi-Pelagians do pray, but that is another conversation.) Or don't rely on God in their daily lives?
And then other comments came in culminating in the seemingly inevitable conclusion that Bishop Katharine is a heretic. Discussions so often seems to end up with that conclusion. And then I left a comment:
Grandmère Mimi said...
...I know that I often fall short, and I know that I am in need of God's saving grace every single day of my life, but, honestly, I don't look inside myself and find "a dark rotten mess for a heart and guts". Jesus became man and lived and walked among humans just like us. He taught them and healed them and loved them. Then he was nailed to the cross and died and rose again giving to them and to us who follow him the victory over sin and death. I am redeemed by Our Lord Jesus Christ. I am God's beloved. How can I look inside myself and find what you describe? What is redemption, then? What does it count for?
Do Jane's comment and mine sound like the Gospel of Self Affirmation? The two of us say grace is vital to our lives as Christians. Do we, indeed, all of us in TEC, fall outside the bounds of God's grace? Do we reach for the gift of grace only to have it withheld from us? Do we reach down to the bottom of ourselves and find nothing there? Must we be good on our own? In a word, no.
Indeed, God's gift of grace is given freely; it is lavishly bestowed, poured out in abundance, before we even ask. If we quiet ourselves and center ourselves and reach down inside, we will find not a "dark rotten mess for a heart and guts", but the very presence of the living God, the same God who is always present, if we will only take note.
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