Friday, November 6, 2009

Best Menopause Question Ever

Question:
How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light
bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.

And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

In this story, I recognize myself in days past. Before you jump on me for being anti-women, remember that the post applies to me, and to me only, and to no other woman in the whole world. This is my story - up close and personal, and I laughed and laughed. You see, it RESONATED.

Besides, the title should be "Best Menopause Answer Ever".

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

Feast Day of William Temple


Readings

Psalm 119: 97-104
Exodus 22:21-27
Ephesians 3:7-12
John 1:9-18

PRAYER

O God of light and love, you illumined your Church through the witness of your servant William Temple: Inspire us, we pray, by his teaching and example, that we may rejoice with courage, confidence and faith in the Word made flesh, and may be led to establish that city which has justice for its foundation and love for its law; through Jesus Christ, the light of the world, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Of Temple, James Kiefer says:

He was at Oxford (Balliol) from 1900 to 1904, and was president of the Oxford Union (the debating society of the University). Here he developed a remarkable ability to sum up an issue, expressing the pros and cons so clearly and fairly that the original opponents often ended up agreeing with each other. This ability served him in good stead later when he moderated conferences on theological and social issues. However, it was not just a useful talent for settling disputes. It was, or developed into, an important part of his philosophy, a belief in Dialectic, derived from Hegel and from Plato. He thought that beliefs and ideas reach their full maturity through their response to opposing ideas.

I confess that I burst out laughing when I read the words which I emphasized. Where is our Archbishop Temple for today? We need him NOW?

And a passage from Exodus to wrestle with:

You shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt. You shall not abuse any widow or orphan. If you do abuse them, when they cry out to me, I will surely heed their cry; my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children orphans.

If you lend money to my people, to the poor among you, you shall not deal with them as a creditor; you shall not exact interest from them. If you take your neighbour’s cloak in pawn, you shall restore it before the sun goes down; for it may be your neighbour’s only clothing to use as cover; in what else shall that person sleep? And if your neighbour cries out to me, I will listen, for I am compassionate.

Exodus 22:21-27

The Shootings at Fort Hood


Much has already been spoken and written of the tragic shootings at Fort Hood, Texas. First, I'll borrow from the post at Hillbilly's Musings, titled "Prayers for the Fallen" from the Episcopal Church Book of Common Prayer:

Almighty God, we remember before you today your faithful servants at Ft. Hood; and we pray that, having opened to them the gates of a larger life, you will receive them more and more into your joyful service, that, with all who have faithfully served you in the past, they may share in the eternal victory of Jesus Christ, our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Let us also pray for all who mourn, that they may cast their care on God, and know the consolation of his love.

Almighty God, look with pity upon the sorrows of your servants for whom we pray. Remember them, Lord, in mercy; nourish them with patience; comfort them with a sense of your goodness; lift up your countenance upon them; and give them peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Next, I refer you to Rmj's post at Adventus titled "What Happened near Killeen". I quote the first and final paragraphs:

First, the story itself is horrific: a man armed with automatic weapons does the maximum amount of carnage/damage one can do, in the amount of time between the first shot and the "first responder" who brought him down. There is a reason military bases maintain very tight control over weapons on base: they know what those firearms are capable of.
....

May the wars indeed cease unto the end of the earth, and the bow be broken, the spear cut asunder. God's peace and mercy to those who died, who were wounded, to their families, and to all the families on Fort Hood.

Last, I refer you to Counterlight's reflection titled "Predictions About How the News Will Play Out". The final paragraph is quite telling:

Meanwhile, there are the families and friends of 12 people who now suddenly find themselves unexpectedly bereaved. There are over 30 people injured and facing a long process of recovery. Perhaps there is where our attention and energies should be focused.

I urge you to read the whole of the posts of Counterlight and Rmj.

While our thoughts and prayers at this time indeed ought to be with the dead and the bereaved, it's a sad commentary on the political situation in our country that, even as the inquiry as to how and why the tragedy occurred has barely begun, the blame games will begin, and I'm already feeling a little sick in anticipation of what we will see and hear from the bloviators. Somehow, some way, although at this point we have very few answers, the fault will be attributed to President Obama and the Democrats in Congress.

Moving away from those thoughts to Psalm 130:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.
Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my supplications!

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
Lord, who could stand?
But there is forgiveness with you,
so that you may be revered.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
and with him is great power to redeem.
It is he who will redeem Israel
from all its iniquities.

Picture from Adventus.

When Will We Hear A Word?

From Savi Hensman at Ekklesia:

Every day millions of Christians pray, in the words of The Lord's Prayer, to be spared from being put to the test. For some in Uganda, where an anti-homosexuality bill is being put to parliament, this prayer may be especially deeply felt.

This extremely unpleasant proposed law targets not only lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) people but also human rights and AIDS prevention activists and people in positions of trust. While some in the church are backing the bill, other Christians face a challenge to the principles at the heart of their faith.
....

The bill also poses a challenge to those throughout the world with economic, social or political links to Uganda. This includes Christian leaders overseas who have helped to give credibility to homophobic Ugandan bishops and pastors while supposedly proclaiming a message of love and justice for all.
....

Sixty years ago, the Anglican Communion was at the forefront of the drive for universal human rights. Though commitment to rights for all, including LGBT people, has been repeatedly endorsed at international gatherings and many churches are passionately committed, it now tends to be referred to in vague terms by top leaders. But they will have to decide how to respond to this legislation, especially since their own Ugandan-born clergy and parishioners will be affected.

What they do, or fail to do, will affect their ability to witness to a God who does not abandon the abused and exploited. These are testing times.

And isn't it way past time for the top leaders in the Anglican Communion and the churches in the Communion to speak out against the pending legislation which is so obviously evil? How hard can it be for the leadership to make that decision? I've waited and waited for a word from Presiding Bishop Katharine or perhaps a joint statement from the bishops of the Episcopal Church. Why the delay? Do the powers fear offending the Ugandan bishops? Are they working diligently behind the scenes to have the legislation scrapped?

I feel shamed by the silence of our leaders about the cruel laws which may be imposed on our brothers and sisters in Uganda. To our leaders: Please speak out for "the abused and exploited". Please speak strong words against the horrors of the pending laws.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

O Deus, Ego Amo Te

Tobias Haller at In a Godward Direction reflects on "Popular Religion: Risk and Opportunity". The post and the discussion that follows in the comments is fascinating. In one of his comments, Tobias quotes an excerpt from Gerard Manley Hopkins' poetic translation of a prayer in Latin by St Francis Xavier. I looked up the poem, and here it is in its entirety.

O Deus, ego amo te

O GOD, I love thee, I love thee-
Not out of hope of heaven for me
Nor fearing not to love and be
In the everlasting burning.
Thou, thou, my Jesus, after me
Didst reach thine arms out dying,
For my sake sufferedst nails, and lance,
Mocked and marred countenance,
Sorrows passing number,
Sweat and care and cumber,
Yea and death, and this for me,
And thou couldst see me sinning:
Then I, why should not I love thee,
Jesu, so much in love with me?
Not for heaven's sake;
not to be out of hell by loving thee;
Not for any gains I see;
But just the way that thou didst me
I do love and I will love thee:
What must I love thee, Lord, for then?
For being my king and God. Amen.


Lovely, isn't it?

Good News From Election Day

From the AP:

Houston won't know who its new mayor will be until next month.

City controller Annise Parker and former city attorney Gene Locke are headed to a runoff to become mayor of America's fourth-biggest city.

Parker, who would be the first openly gay mayor of Houston, collected nearly 31 percent of the vote Tuesday.

Locke, with 25 percent, topped architect and urban planner Peter Brown, who had nearly 23 percent.

Winning the runoff is not winning the election, but it's a start. Go Annise!

Thanks to Ann.

Very Sad News

From the Episcopate Committee, Regarding the Rev'd Kurt Dunkle

Dear Friends,

This morning, we learned from the Rev’d Kurt Dunkle of a terrible tragedy at his parish in Florida. It is now public knowledge that a parishioner killed his two children and then killed himself this morning. The children attended the day school and the wife (who was unharmed) is a secretary at the day school.

I spoke with Fr. Dunkle earlier today and assured him that the Diocese of Louisiana will lift him, his church, and the family so horribly traumatized by these events in prayer in the coming days.

Fr. Dunkle will make every effort to be in Louisiana to meet with the clergy on Friday and the laity on Saturday at the walkabouts, but we all most certainly understand that he will need to respond to this pastoral emergency as the situation continues to develop.

May the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Yours in Christ,
David Pitts
Chair, The Episcopate Committee

How tragic! Please pray especially for the wife and mother of this family, for all those who love them, for Fr. Dunkle, who is one of the candidates for bishop of the Diocese of Louisiana, and for the parishioners of his church.

Receive, O Lord, your servants, for they return to you.

Into your hands, O Lord, we commend our brothers and sister.

Wash them in the holy font of everlasting life, and clothe them in the heavenly wedding garment.

Into your hands, O Lord, we commend our brothers and sister.

May they hear your words of invitation, “Come, you blessed of my Father.”

Into your hands, O Lord, we commend our brothers and sister.

May they gaze upon you, Lord, face to face, and taste the blessedness of perfect rest.

Into your hands, O Lord, we commend our brothers and sister.

May angels surround them, and saints welcome them in peace.

Into your hands, O Lord, we commend our brothers and sister.

Almighty God, our Father in heaven, before whom live all who die in the Lord: Receive our brothers and sister into the courts of your heavenly dwelling place. Let their hearts and souls now ring out in joy to you, O Lord, the living God, and the God of those who live. This we ask through Christ our Lord. Amen.
....

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of comfort: Deal graciously, we pray thee, with all those who mourn, that casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.



(Book of Common Prayer, pp. 465-466, 489)

I Want Questions

I know. Most people want answers, but I want questions. This coming Saturday The Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana scheduled Meet-the-Candidates-for Bishop Walkabouts

Saturday, November 7th 8am registration; 8:30am - 5pm Walkabout

* Episcopal High School, Baton Rouge

* St. Martin's Episcopal School, Metairie

God willing, I'll be in attendance at the meeting at St. Martin's School. I must be ready to leave at 7:00 AM, or I shall be left behind. I don't blame the driver of the car that I'll be riding in one bit. She knows my habit of tardiness, and she is not a morning person, either. She says, "If I can be there on time, you can be there." She's right.

What I'd like from you, my dear readers, is suggestions for questions to ask the candidates, if I get the opportunity to do so. I'm told that there will be a question period.

The names and biographies of the candidates may be viewed at the diocesan website.

Thank you.

O Canada!

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!



Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


Thanks to Doxy.

Good News From Myron

Morning Everyone,

There is good news today. Myron passed his swallowing test this week, and that means the brain had healed a little more, and he can now eat. This is a major accomplishment because he can begin to put some weight back on. I think he has lost about 30-35 lbs, which is a lot for him. He was able to sign his name to a Social Security form for Mary Anne. She is now applying for disability benefits.

I will be seeing him today for the first time in two weeks, and I should be able to observe a change in him. I hope.

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

Sue


Good news, indeed! Myron can eat real food. Please continue your prayers for his further recovery.