OLD BUTCH

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch that he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully this fall, the bells are not always audible.

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

Picture from Wikipedia.

PROPOSITION 8 DECLARED UNCONSTITUTIONAL

From IT at The Friends of Jake:

Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite sex couples The Constitution simply does not allow for "laws of this sort" (Romer v. Evans.)

For more, see TFOJ.

JUAN COLE TRANSLATES OMAR KHAYYAM

OMAR KHAYYAM 15

As far as you can avoid it,
do not give grief to anyone.
Never inflict your rage
on another.
If you hope for eternal rest,
feel the pain yourself;
but don’t hurt others.

trans. Juan Cole
from Whinfield 15

Juan has posted a series of wonderful translations of Omar Khayyam's lovely peotry.

You may also consider reading his blog regularly for a dose of sanity on the situation in the Middle East, as an antidote to the scary, overblown rhetoric that is common in the media...not that the situation isn't scary, but, at the moment, I'm more afraid of what Israel or the countries in the West might do than I am of Iran.

THE KOSSOY SISTERS - 'THE WAGONER'S LAD'

Still like this in some places.

FLYING FIRST CLASS

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The steward rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a
good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted steward gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the head stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.

The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."


Cheers,

Paul (A.)

(I don't usually do blond jokes, but Paul (A.) made me do it.)

OH DEAR! THIS ONE IS OURS

From Kaili Joy Gray at Daily Kos:

This just in: Louisiana Republican Rep. John C. Fleming, M.D. is tossing his hat in the ring for Dumbest Member of Congress.

Dino Grandoni at The Atlantic reports that "pro-life" Rep. Fleming M.D. posted a story from The Onion on his Facebook page, offering it as proof that Planned Parenthood offers "abortion by the wholesale."

The satirical story from May 2011

Let's see what the gullible pro-lifer representative believes.

Planned Parenthood announced Tuesday the grand opening of its long-planned $8 billion Abortionplex, a sprawling abortion facility that will allow the organization to terminate unborn lives with an efficiency never before thought possible. [...]

Where on earth did the congressman get this information?
Why from The Onion!

Thanks to Paul (A.) for the link, which he sent with the following message:

Louisiana is, however, responsible for this one.

Cheers,

Paul (A.)

Ah yes. Though we are not responsible for state Sen. Shadrack McGill of DeKalb County, Alabama, Rep. Fleming is from Minden, Louisiana, so he is, indeed, our responsibility, and we must claim him, even as we blush for him.



UPDATE: Thanks to AB for sending in the video with the story from Newsy.com.

ASBO JESUS - STEAMROLLER

Click on the cartoon for the larger view.

From jonbirch at ASBO Jesus.

STORY OF THE DAY - COLOR BLIND

What color are souls? she said & I said,
Color isn't that much of an issue when
you're talking souls.

From StoryPeople.

THREE MONKS IN THE DESERT

Three monks lived as hermits in an isolated desert place. On rare occasions, the monks came together and broke their silence. One day, Brother Edgar said, "That was a beautiful white horse that passed by, wasn't it?"

One year later, Brother Paul said, "That wasn't a white horse; it was a black horse."

Another year passed, and Brother Silas said, "If there's going to be constant bickering, I'm leaving."

HAPPY DIAMOND JUBILEE, YOUR MAJESTY!