DON'T TELL

 

From someecards.

KID ON THE TOILET

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.  HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.  THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK, BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."

BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET."

MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"

 

BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."

Don't blame me.  Blame susan s.

BOBBY JINDAL - A TRAVELING MAN

During 2012, Gov. Bobby Jindal spent almost one day of every four — at least 86 of 365 days — out of the state, mostly campaigning for Republican candidates around the nation and speaking to conservative political groups.

Various GOP supporters and campaigns paid for Jindal’s hotel rooms and airfare for the campaign trips. Louisiana taxpayers, however, paid $65,000 to feed, house and, often, fly his security team. Those taxpayer dollars also often ensured that the governor’s luggage arrived ahead of him, allowing him to quickly move through airports.

The perks of being governor are, indeed, convenient, but they cost money, our money, of which the state has run short.  For Jindal to be gone from his office at least 25% of the time seems excessive to me.  The true percentage of time spent away from Louisiana is more than 25%, because when the governor doesn't stay overnight, the trip does not have to go on record.

Not all of the trips are represented in the available records.

For instance, Jindal flew to Grand Island, Neb., on July 14 to address the Nebraska Republican Party State Convention at a $500-per-person event. He called President Barack Obama “the most liberal president” and “the most incompetent president” since former President Jimmy Carter, according to reports published in The Grand Island Independent. He returned that night, according to a statement by his press office and newspaper reports.

And this, my friends, is the man the national media calls on for interviews about the new, not-stupid Republican Party.  Does the national press check out the governor's approval rating at home, (37% in the most recent poll) where the full effects of his conservative agenda are being felt? 

NOTE TO REPUBLICANS

 

The people of the country will blame you for the sequester.  The military/industrial complex will blame you for the sequester.  If the sequester goes into effect, and the country plunges into another recession, you will be blamed.  Wake up.  You can't win this one.

DADDY'S ROOM

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.  She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, I'm scared.  Would you sleep with me tonight?''

His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.  ''I can't dear,'' she said. ''I have to sleep in daddy's room.''

A long silence was broken at last by his little voice:  ''The big sissy!''


Cheers,

Paul (A.)

CHAIM POTOK AND "BRIDESHEAD REVISITED"

From The Writer's Almanac:

It's the birthday of Chaim Potok (books by this author), born in the Bronx (1929). His parents were immigrants from Poland, and he grew up in a strict Orthodox Jewish culture. When he was about 14 years old, he happened to pick up a copy of Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh, and it changed his life. He said, "I lived more deeply inside the world in that book than I lived inside my own world."

How amazing that the novel would have such a profound effect on an Orthodox Jewish boy.  That the book had the same effect on me, with a background in the Roman Catholic Church, is not so surprising.  Of course, I was much older when I read the book.  Waugh has a way of writing that makes his characters come to life, and we are drawn into the lives of the characters and care about what becomes of them. 

I loved Potok's novel, The Chosen, and I just now placed the sequel, The Promise, on my wish list to buy in the future.  I may have already read the book, but, as with The Chosen, which I've read more than once, the sequel may be well worth another read.

PLUS ÇA CHANGE, PLUS C'EST LA MÊME CHOSE

Garry Wills in the New York Times:

Wistful Catholics hope that on this and other matters of disagreement between the church as People of God and the ruling powers in the church, a new pope can remedy that discord. But a new pope will be elected by cardinals who were elevated to office by the very popes who reaffirmed “eternal truths” like the teaching on contraception. They were appointed for their loyalty, as were the American bishops who stubbornly upheld the contraception nonsense in our elections.

Will the new conclave vote for a man who goes against the teachings of his predecessors? Even if they do, can the man chosen buck the structure through which he rose without kicking the structure down? These considerations have given the election of new popes the air of watching Charlie Brown keep trying to kick the football, hoping that Lucy will cooperate.

John Paul II and Benedict XVI, two conservative, traditionalist pontiffs, had 34 years to appoint members of the College of Cardinals. What are the chances for a progressive pope to be elected? Close to zero, I'd say. The few progressive cardinals (if there are any at all) in the college would be too old.  Of course, surprises do happen. Choosing the next pope will hardly be an exercise in democracy, since no clergy, lay people, or even a large number of bishops have a say in the appointments of cardinals.

And, if by a near miracle, even a semi-progressive pope were elected, he would have a hard time implementing progressive policies, considering that Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI had those same number of years to appoint like-minded bishops throughout the world.   

FOR MY CATHOLIC FRIENDS

Click on the letter for the larger view.

Now you know. I expect the information about eating alligator meat on Fridays in Lent will not be widely referenced beyond alligator territory. Biologically speaking, the alligator is a reptile rather than a fish, but if the archbishop says its meat is cleared for a Friday meal for his flock, then who am I to introduce complications?  My guess is the owner of the 'gator hatchery was pleased to receive clearance for his product to be included in Friday meals during Lent.  Bon Appétit!

Thanks to my friend Dan on Facebook for the copy of the letter.

AIN'T THAT A SHAME - FATS DOMINO

Friday night Fats on Saturday afternoon. Sorry, I forgot.

LATE WITH THIS ONE...

...but it's wonderfully funny. Thanks to Paul (A.)