On a lighter note:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.
8. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go'.
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'
And The final way to keep a healthy level Of insanity
13. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's called...THERAPY
I'm not sending it in an email. I'm posting it.
Blame it on Doug.
bwa-ha-haaa! I've only done #9 and #11...I'll have to try the others now.
ReplyDelete:)
Your assignment now is to do all the others that apply. Get Going, Scott.
ReplyDelete"do you want fries with that" is particularly tempting, and I can think of not a few parishioners who are about to get a rude awakening...ROFL
ReplyDeleteScott, the "fries" response is definitely on my agenda for Grandpère the next time he "requests" me to do something.
ReplyDeleteI regularly used the 'fries' response when I felt lighthearted and a student in my library asked to borrow a book. The student usually looked at me as if I had finally gone bonkers.
ReplyDeleteI do not think I will sing at the opera, I would prefer to maintain my subscription The only other possibility is the ATM, will think about it.
Here's one: if you're a student and have a book you're going to sell back at the end of the semester, highlight random passages. Make nonsensical marginal notes at random places: "Yes!!!" "See p. 167" "Yes - but where is God??"
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of a delayed action insanity inducer, but it will work.
Of course all of these suggestions are more effective if you are a natural blond.
ReplyDeleteI got a good laugh over these "suggestions", too bad I don't have a 'job' anymore to try some of them. I do #6 and #9 frequently.
ReplyDeleteSarah
I've read this a thousand times, and I laugh every time. Thanks G'mere Mimi.
ReplyDeleteI sorely needed this yesterday, and Doug came through.
ReplyDeleteI have never ordered diet water, but I have purchased a bottle of dehydrated water. Made it very light and easy to carry on hikes. The only thing needed to rehydrate it was to add a little H2O.
ReplyDeleteCP
But but but... do you know just how hard I work NOT to do #9? (the fam sez they will rip out my vocal chords if I slip, even if I do know the words, and they know it's just as likely I'll sing along not knowing them.)
ReplyDeleteFunny list, made me laugh and I needed that.
CP, I love the lightweight dehydrated water. It's so convenient.
ReplyDeleteTheJanet, if you sat next to me and sang with the opera singers, I'd...I'd...I don't know what I'd do, but I wouldn't like it. As for Scott up there who confesses to actually doing it, he should be banned from the opera house.
The trolls are still trickling in. Their words are ugly and, at the same time, boring.
Sing along at the opera.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
Sorry, did I miss something? Why have you suddenly got trolls? What did you do now?
ReplyDeleteDP, you missed the drama of my troll attack on Sunday. I didn't do anything. Someone linked to my blog in the comments of two stories at the Huffington Post, and my traffic soared, bringing in the trolls. It was almost unmanageable for a while, so I turned on moderation.
ReplyDelete