Dedicated to Arkansas Hillbilly.
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
Thanks to Lapin
Ha! This one had me right to the very end!
ReplyDeleteWhere's Hillbilly? I left him a message. I guess he ain't doin' the computer thang t'nite.
ReplyDeleteGot me.
ReplyDeleteVery funny.
Sorry, Mimi, I was working on another paper for school. I just read it, and LOVED it!! I can't wait to share this with Bug when she graduates! Oh, by the by, a friend passed along a nifty little quiz to see how progressive you are: I scored a 312/400, making me "extremely progressive... How'd you do?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.americanprogress.org/issues/2009/03/progressive_quiz.html
Ya know, my first encounter with a BAM was right out of boot camp and before I left MCRD San Deigo. She was wearing bars and I saluted as I was supposed to and said "Good morning, Sir." Can you imagine the grief?
ReplyDeleteI can, Fred. I've been around BAM's and let me tell you, they can be twice as stubborn and three times as mean as the men. Thank God I was a Corpsman, and was cut a bit more slack... Nobody messes with "Doc".
ReplyDeleteWitty!
ReplyDeleteCompliments to the Rabbit. That was got me. Thank goodness I wasn't drinking anything.
ReplyDeleteArkansas Hillbilly,
ReplyDeleteRE: "Doc" I know exactly, specifically and most directly why no one messes with Doc. Learned that on a hill just outside Charlie 2 in August 1969 just 4 days before I was due to rotate home. I love corpsmen -- one of them and all of them!
Well, I can tell you that I was laughing way before the denouement. The whole joke had me in stitches.
ReplyDeleteHillbilly, I thought of you right away.
Thanks for that. I needed the laugh today...
ReplyDeleteAH, we're all thinking good thoughts for you this weekend!
ReplyDelete