George Carlin On Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old
is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited
about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the
next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"

You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest
day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a
ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,
you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . ..
and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you
BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built
up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing;
you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete
cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I
Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a
little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is

with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.

The last statement is so very true. I'm quite serious when I say that, although I've been through rough times, I thank God that I have had many beautiful moments in my life that took my breath away.

And turning 30 was a tremendous shock to me. I breezed through the remainder of the turning decades.

Thanks to Doug.