If an old and long-winded acquaintance, whom we see from time to time in a meet-up in New Orleans, calls and leaves an extended message on the answering machine, telling us everything that's happening in his life right now, running out the tape, must I return his call?
All right, then. I already know what your answers will be. I shall make the call. Am I a bitch for even asking the question?
Not unless you have something you want to tell him.
ReplyDeletePaul, I don't really. I enjoy seeing him and his wife in person a lot better than I like talking to him on the phone. His wife is a moderating influence.
ReplyDeleteIn former years, he sent Christmas letters detailing all of the wonderful accomplishments of his clan, which - Mea culpa! - Tom and I would giggle over.
No -- you are under no obligation to call him back. I have a message on my machine- says:
ReplyDeleteThank you for calling. If you want to leave a message wait for the tone.
No promises of returning any calls!
You could call and say you don't have time to talk right now but you got his message, and express appropriate care regarding the events in his life.
ReplyDeleteYou could write him a letter doing the same.
There are very few people I enjoy talking to on the phone. My ears get tired, and I find it hard to converse without either time to think about what I'm saying (as when I type or write) or visual and body language cues (as when I talk with people in person). So when people do make social phonecalls I very often tell them that this isn't a good time to talk, but could I write to them? Or could we meet up for lunch? Or whatever.
I can't say what you should do, of course, but similar strategies may be useful.
Sounds like he adores ¨listeners¨...
ReplyDeleteAfter Grandpère and I listened to the message, he told me, "Please, please call him back!"
ReplyDeleteI don't like having long conversations on the phone any more. I find myself drifting off and not listening. I'll probably call him back and try to keep it short.
On the other hand, I had quite a long and wonderful conversation with my niece who has breast cancer. It was the first time that I talked to her since she found out the news. Now THAT conversation was a great pleasure. It was not chit-chat, but a conversation full of sharing and meaning. She sounded good and is very grateful for the attentions of the prayer posse from around the world.
Leo, I believe my friend CRAVES listeners. His wife must have a set of coping mechanisms.
ReplyDeleteNo, you are not obligated to call back. If you do, remember that only you know how long your cell phone battery will last. I have been known to cut off calls by saying I have to conserve battery. And I do -- it wont last 3 hours and I am gonna need it.
ReplyDeleteFWIW
jimB
If Granpere want him called back, then he should do the calling...
ReplyDeleteUnless he was just kidding... and doesn't expect you to call him.
ReplyDeleteThe cell phone! Yes, Jim. That's just the ticket.
ReplyDeleteI think GP may have been half-joking. Guilt will force me to make the call.
Hope he doesn't know you have a blog.
ReplyDeleteLapin, I fervently hope not. I don't think so, or I would not have written this. Surely, in that long message, he would have mentioned it.
ReplyDeleteArrange to have Something Important Come Up 5 minutes into the call, max. [I adopt this tactic w/ an aunt of mine---it spares me (or at least minimizes) the inevitable Telling Me How I Ought to Live My Life]
ReplyDeleteI don't return calls. Period. I rarely even listen to the messages. On the very off chance that I am interested in a message, I will call back. But, only if I want to.
ReplyDeleteYou could always just send him a note.
JCF, I don't so that sort of thing well. I can't bring it off.
ReplyDeleteLindy, I may write him a note.
You are very brave in your telephone and answering machine policies.
why do you still have an old tape recorder voice mail? Mimi, you are a crypto-Luddite I think!
ReplyDeleteDennis, my mistake. It's not a tape recorder, but, whatever it is, it doesn't take an endless message.
ReplyDelete"Sounds like he adores ¨listeners¨..."
ReplyDeleteSeems rather that he doesn't quite understand that he isn't alone in the World (may be that he indeed feels alone in the World).