In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --"Product will be hot after heating."
(....and you thought????)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
On a Sears hairdryer -- "Do not use while sleeping."
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(the shoplifter special?)
On bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???.....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners --"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God….was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Thanks to Ann.
I have actually seen college students iron their clothes while wearing them. Yes it was in the '60s.
ReplyDeleteSusan, confession time. I've ironed skirts and dresses that I was wearing, but never parts of the clothing that were against my skin.
ReplyDeleteI actually laughed out loud at a lot of these. I've been know to iron hems of skirts while wearing, but like Mimi, never the parts touching my skin. I've also been know to us hair dryers better for some fabrics while wearing.
ReplyDeleteThe Swedish chainsaw seems a particularly vicious instrument. I'm surprised that Göran didn't leave a word.
ReplyDelete;=) I thought it was American. You know, the Chain Saw Massacre...
ReplyDeleteA film which is actually reported not to show any violence, but uses innuendo in stead ;=)
Our coffee maker had a safety warning not to use it in the presence of explosives. Too bad --nothing wakes me up quite like a cup of strong cofee and a stick of dynamite.
ReplyDeleteGöran, thank you. I was waiting for you.
ReplyDeleteExplosives in the kitchen early in the morning are a bit much, Paulas. Later in the day....