The lady was a fine upstanding Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week. On one Sunday, an out of town slight acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was and, while they were taking up the collection, he leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"
"Why yes, that would be nice", the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"
"Oh, no," said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, "Whatever would I tell my Sunday School class?"
Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of Lucky Strikes and asked, "Would you like a cigarette?"
"Oh my goodness, no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did!"
Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured 'What the Hell', he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ahhh ... mmmm, how would you like to stop at this motel?"
"Sure, that would be nice," she said in anticipation. The gentleman couldn't believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible love making imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie Darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, "What the hell have I done?"
He shook her awake and asked, "Whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"
The lady said, "The same thing I always tell them, "You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time.."
Don't blame me. Blame Doug.
"He noted what a fine looking woman she was and, while they were taking up the collection, he leaned forward and said, "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?" I am hypnotized by the truth in those words.
ReplyDelete;=)
ReplyDeleteNice variation on a oldie but goodie.
ReplyDeleteI am hypnotized by the truth in those words.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed.
Anonymous, next time you visit, please make up a name and sign your post.
Excellent - thank you Doug, as ever.
ReplyDeleteDid the gentleman in question live in a barn though? ... Couldn't he invite her back to his for brandy and cigars, like a proper gent? ... Or did he remember at the last minute he hadn't changed his sheets, or something?
Cathy, it seems to me that for the man to invite the woman to to his home would be a bit more courteous, but, in my view, such a suggestion after a first meeting is never courteous. Of course, I am old and used to the old ways. Back in my day, a kiss on the first date was daring.
ReplyDeleteHee!
ReplyDeleteAh, Southern Baptist jokes: the gift that keeps on giving (ala the classic, Q: "Why do Southern Baptists ban sex standing up?" A: "Because it might lead to dancing!")