There was a haunted house on the outskirts of town which was avoided by all the townsfolk: The ghost which 'lived' there was feared by all.I know, I know. Halloween is past and gone, and if Paul (A.) wasn't a bit under the weather, I'd ask him to leave the stage. Perhaps, my posting his past sell-by date and corny joke will cheer him up and make him feel better. He is such a hero. His lovely wife Catherine said:
An enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his trusty camera, the ghost descended upon him, moaning piteously, clanking chains, and generally being hauntingly obnoxious. The reporter interrupted the moaning and said, "Hold on a minute! I mean you no harm. I just want your photograph for the newspaper. You'll be a sensation!"
The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines and posed for a number of ghostly shots.
The happy journalist rushed back to his darkroom and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, however, they all turned out to be black and underexposed.
So what's the moral of the story?
The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.
Cheers,
Paul (A.)
Paul(A.)'s lovely wife has been completely swamped with grading papers for the last few days, so Paul (A.) has arisen from his sickbed to make me dinner Friday, breakfast Saturday, and breakfast and dinner today. I may finish the grading in time to go to school tomorrow. God Bless Paul (A.)!
Oh, my. Though it brought a smile, this is beyond "leave the stage" and more in the "burn down the theater!" realm. ;-)
ReplyDeleteBut Paul is a Saint to be so caring, and all I am sure is forgiven in the greater scheme of things...
Tobias, does the joke rise to 'so bad it's good' status?
ReplyDeleteVery likely so! What is the combination of a laugh and a groan at the same time? A graph? A loan? A gramaphone? I think "graugh" is best... May we all rejoice in the occasional graughter, a condition often brought on by puns.
ReplyDeleteThere are jokes of which I only remember the catch lines, not the joke. "Don't put all your Basques in one exit" and "People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones" coming quickly to mind.
ReplyDeleteGROAN.
ReplyDelete(with all due respect to Tobias's excellent variants, a groan was the only thing that would do :) ...)
Heard this weekend:
ReplyDeleteIn a small town, there was the traditional country store, with the traditional pot-belly stove, around which gathered the traditional old men. Now, the owner of the store was a man given to a great deal of public piety, and, while ringing up purchases would quote a Biblical verse; for instance, if someone bought a loaf of bread, he might say, "Man shall not live by bread alone."
One day a finely-dressed stranger came in and peremptorily ordered the storeowner to sell him a horse blanket.
"Well, I have this one in back for $25."
"No!" said the well-dressed man, "My horse is far too fine for that."
The storeowner went in back and said, "Wal, I have another - little better'n first - it's $50."
"Good Lord, man! This is a fine, fine horse. You must have better!"
The storeowner went back, and returned.
"I got a royal blue blanket in stock - finest quality, and it's $75."
"That's more like it!"
Now the men around the stove waited for this Bible verse, for they knew the storeowner had only one blanket in stock and it was blue . . . and $25!
The storeowner calmly rang up $75, presented the man his blanket and said:
"He was a stranger, and I took him in."
Good one, Mark. Thanks. :-D
ReplyDelete