Showing posts with label Alpha series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alpha series. Show all posts

Friday, March 30, 2007

Alpha Series - Part 5

Last night, the topic of the Alpha video was "Why and How Should I Tell Others About Jesus?" I liked this video better than some of the others, and, this time, I did not leave feeling grumpy.

With the previous videos, I sat there listening to this gentle man talking about giving one's life to Jesus and just feeling put off by the whole experience. The others in the group seemed to like it, and Nicky Gumble said many things that were right, therefore I felt guilty about my antagonism, which, in turn, left me feeling angry and diminished in my sense of myself.

The video we saw Thursday did not have that effect. Nicky said a few silly things like giving the exact number of how many thousands of times the word "go" appeard in the Old and New Testaments, as he was talking about the Great Commission to go out and preach the Gospel. The video did not include quite so many camera shots of rapt listeners to coach us on how to react. Yes, I'm cynical.

Nicky told funny stories about his clumsiness in sharing his faith in his initial fervor, wanting everyone to know Jesus, once he gave himself to Jesus. He cautioned strongly against putting pressure on people and advised persuasion instead.

One of the difficulties that I have with Alpha may be that I grew up in the Christian faith and never had what I could call a "Come to Jesus" moment. Over the years, the fervor of my faith has waxed and waned, and my faith trajectory has not always been onward and upward to a closer relationship with God. Mine has been more like hills and valleys. I do realize that folks can't come to faith without hearing the Gospel, and I sometimes feel that I'm not really doing my part in fulfilling the Great Commission.

The discussion afterward was lively and interesting. Why was Alpha better for me tonight? I don't know really. Maybe I was different. I can't say that it's something I would want to repeat, but I'm pleased that the final experience was more positive than the others.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Alpha - Part 4

Folks, I believe I may have done myself in last night at the Alpha session last night. I was tired, having spent the day in New Orleans, and my frustrations with the program came out in force.

The title of thie talk was "How Can I Be Sure Of My Faith?" To be honest, I don't often think about being sure of my faith. My concern is, "Do I live my faith? How am I doing with respect to being a disciple of Jesus? Do I walk in the way he has laid out in the Gospels?" OK, so I'm put off by the title at the very start. Is it me? Do I have a bad attitude?

Nicky Gumbel led us in the prayer inviting Jesus into our hearts, yet again. I found myself thinking, "Jesus, if you're not in my heart yet, will the third time be the charm, or will I have to wait for the next time?"

Then Gumbel went on to his talk in which he used the analogy between faith and marriage and being in relationship with God, and that we must experience God in our lives to have true faith. That part of his lecture gave me no problem. So what's wrong?

The camera pans to the rapt members of the audience once again distracted me.

One thing I'll say is that we had a livelier discussion last night, mostly because of my comments which may have seemed disruptive to others there. I mentioned my problem with the title of the session, being sure of my faith, and my unease with with the repeated, "Come into my heart...." prayer. Why over and over? Others in the group explained to me that in the previous prayers, some in Nicky's audience and also some in our group may not have been ready to commit to the prayer on the other occasions, so they must be given other chances. My fellow parishioners were quite kind to me and even laughed at some of my statements - some of which were not really meant to be funny.

Many of those from fundamentalist backgrounds found the Alpha Series a breath of fresh air, because Nicky's style is quite gentle and without pressure, and he preaches the positive, "If you accept Jesus into your heart, you will have eternal life," rather than the negative and scary, "If you don't accept Jesus into your heart, you will suffer hell and damnation".

In this small group, I think I am a minority of one in being put off by Alpha, for the others in the group seem to like it and take away something good from it. I come away from the sessions feeling rebellious and guilty, and in the end, quite grumpy. I feel grumpy today writing about it. That's not good.

Is my bad attitude the problem? Was I closed off to finding anything positive in Alpha from the beginning? I honestly don't have the answers, but I'm wondering if I should attend the final session next week. Maybe I am disruptive to the rest of the group who like the series. I made the committment, but I don't look forward with any pleasure to the nest session, except for Evensong and the soup and sandwiches.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Alpha - Part 3

Our third Alpha lecture was titled "Why Did Jesus Die?" I'm still puzzling over exactly to whom this series is directed. I asked and the response was folks at different levels of knowledge of Christianity. Not at my level, that's for sure. Look, I'm not setting myself up above anyone, but I have a vague sense of just not liking Alpha, and I can't quite put my finger on why. Not much of a lively discussion followed.

After Nicky's lecture about Jesus taking all our sins and shame upon himself and dying on the cross so that our sins are forgiven, my question was, "Did Jesus have to die for God to forgive our sins?" No true answer came. Then I made my statement that I did not think God willed Jesus's death, nor did Jesus will his own death. He became incarnate to do the Father's will, which was to teach us by word and deed how to live our lives here on earth. In doing so he angered the authorities and was eventually put to death in a cruel and shameful way. In the days preceeding his death, he gave us an example of how we are to approach our own deaths. After he died, God raised him from the dead, and he lives today in the hearts and minds of those who choose to follow him as the Way, the Truth, and the Life. The others seemed to accept that.

Oh, and we were lead in the "Come into my heart, Jesus" prayer again. Honestly, I don't know what to make of it.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Alpha - Part 2

Part 2 of Alpha was better than Part 1. I didn't get the feeling of watching a Billy Graham event this time. I have nothing against Billy Graham, but you can't say that he is Anglican, and I did not find the first Alpha Anglican. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Nicky Gumbel's presentation is low-key compared to the TV evangelists. The subject of this program was "Who Is Jesus?" What followed was a teaching on Jesus as God and man. I'd rather not give away too many details, because some reading this may do the course. I'd rather focus on my impressions.

One thing that puzzled me is that last week we were led in the prayer to accept Jesus into our hearts. Seems to me that Part 2 should have come first, especially for those who were not knowledgeable about Jesus. Before you invite Jesus into your heart, wouldn't you want to know a bit about him?

As the program is pretty basic, I was not sure what those of us more familiar with the basics of the faith are to take from it, except perhaps some sort of renewal of faith.

What caught my attention this time was the slick production style demonstrated in the series. The lectures take place in Holy Trinity Church Brompton in London. The camera focused on the audience (or should I say congregation?) from time to time, and every person shown was raptly attentive. If there were any who were bored-looking or fidgety, we did not get to see them. The church makes for good background for the cameras. Here's a picture if you want to have a look at the interior. Sorry, I don't know how to do pictures on my blog.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Alpha Series

After Evensong last night, we had our first Alpha meeting. We're using the "Alpha Express", which, I presume, is the shorter version The course is pretty basic but not scary. Nicky Gumbel talked about how he used to be before he was a Christian, that he wanted to prove that God didn't exist. He talked about the emptiness inside that only God can fill. I don't know that everyone experiences the emptiness. I have had non-believing folks tell me that they don't have that emptiness. However, if you're attending the course, then you must be seeking something in your life. Unless you're like me, and going to see what it's all about.

He talked about the head - heart thing, that faith is not purely working it out intellectually, that It must be experiential also, and I do agree with that. There was no talk of hellfire or punishment, and I can see how it might work for some who have very little knowledge of the faith.

At the end was the, "Jesus, come into my heart," prayer, without the altar call. Gumbel's manner was much gentler and less pressuring than the pushy style of the Billy Graham and TV evangelist types. It was more, "If you'd like to do this...."

In the discussion afterward, we talked about how some evangelists teach that once you've said the prayer, it's all done, except for the, "Come to my church and give me money," part, when it's really a journey.

I have tried to go with an open mind and heart, but so far, the series seems so very much for beginners in the faith. Not that I'm a scholar, or that I know it all, but I've been doing this faith thing for a while, and I was hoping for something a bit more challenging.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Learning To Keep My Mouth Shut

The "Letter From the Rector" in the current newsletter from my church seems directed to me, as a result of a conversation we had on the Alpha Series, which our church will use during Lent.

At "Of Course, I Could Be Wrong" we had a lively discussion about Alpha after I mentioned it. I printed the comments to give to my rector, after editing out MadPriest's comments, which were a little over the top.

My rector's letter is titled "Does Not Follow Directions." He goes on to quote from Mark's Gospel the story of Jesus healing the man with the withered hand on the Sabbath, making the point that sometimes the right thing to do is not to follow directions.

He then goes on to say that he will celebrate 25 years as a priest in March, and he is learning to discern better "when directions should be followed and when not."

About the Alpha series, he says:
I embarked on this train of thought recently when I was thinking about the Alpha course we will use in Lent. I have used it many times before and although I think it is a strong curriculum, it is not perfect. (What is?) A good teacher does not slavishly stick to a curriculum as if it were a recipe. I will use what I think is good and either not use the small portion that is weak or teach over against it, if and when it appears.

Nothing is for everyone. However, I think Alpha is orthodox Christianity served up with humor and profundity.
The short form of this statement, as I read it is, "June, I heard what you said and read what you gave me to read, but I'm going to do this anyway. If you feel it's not for you, then you needn't come." I wonder why he didn't tell me this. What do y'all think? This is not the first time that I have felt he was responding directly to me in the newsletter. Why not just talk to me?

Of course, I may be inflating my own importance and taking what he says much too personally. Anyone who cares to weigh in in the comments, please do, and don't be concerned about disagreeing with me.

It is my impression that my rector strives to avoid confrontation, and, perhaps, that's why he would respond in the newsletter, rather than directly to me.

By the way, if my rector ever makes his way to my blog, I am sunk.