RICK PERRY IN NEW ORLEANS (LOUISIANA)

Rick Perry: “Now there are many other states that embrace those conservative values, the approach that we’ve taken over the years. I’m in one today – in Florida.  Look at South Carolina; you look at Florida.”

From the audience: “We’re in Louisiana!”

Rick Perry: "I know; I said that.  I'm in one of those states that reflect those today - in Louisiana.  Yes, I got that."

Run, Rick, run.  Oooh, I hope Perry runs. He will not be the candidate unless the death wish in the GOP is far stronger than even I can imagine, but it will be such fun if Perry runs. The video is priceless. Graceful recovery - NOT.

H/T to Daily Kos and a Facebook friend.

TEXAS OPEN FOR BUSINESS

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is on a four-day recruitment trip to California this week, trying to lure Golden State businesses to set up shop in the Lone Star state.

The trip, which began Sunday, will take Perry to San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles and Orange County, but the recruitment started last Monday when Perry made an ad buy in California inviting Golden State businesses to enjoy the tax and regulatory benefits available to them in Texas.

“Building a business is tough, but I hear building a business in California is next to impossible.  This is Texas Governor Rick Perry, and I have a message for California businesses. Come check out Texas,” Perry says in the 30-second ad.  “There are plenty of reasons Texas has been named the best state for doing business for eight years running. Visit texaswideopenforbusiness.com and see why our low taxes, sensible regulations and fair legal system are just the thing to get your business moving to Texas.”

Go to Texas (wide open for business) where you can pollute as you please and operate a dangerous business with little regulation or oversight.  Or come to Louisiana where similar policies allow you to do business in whatever way you like.

Meanwhile in West, Texas:

The number of people who died in a fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas, last week now stands at 15, officials said Tuesday. Some earlier reports had indicated that 14 people had lost their lives. At least 200 more were injured.

Governor Perry tours disaster zone

JINDAL HAS MOJO BACK?

The last year has been a bad one for many Republicans, but 2012 was exceptionally kind to Bobby Jindal.

The 41-year-old Louisiana governor ends the presidential campaign cycle as a staple on the Sunday talk shows, a regular subject of 2016 speculation, and a legitimate contender to become the next standard-bearer of a party that once again finds itself leaderless.

And the former Rhodes Scholar has Rick Perry to thank for it all.

You could have fooled me about Jindal.  Do any of the journalists who heap praise on the governor ever check with the folks down in Louisiana?  You know, the state which Jindal "governs", and I use the word loosely and with scare quotes, because his policies are well on their way to destroying a good many institutions in Louisiana.  Where are you, Governor Jindal?  We seldom see you or hear from you in the Gret Stet where you should be accountable, but are not.  You won't talk to the local media, even as you concentrate your efforts to claim the spotlight in the national media. Your heavy-handed style of governance from afar, along with a legislature, most of whose members are either too lazy or too frightened to cross you, make for much mischief down heah.

From an adviser  to Perry:

"Anything we asked of him [Jindal], he was there," said one former Perry campaign official. "When the tide was high and when the tide was low, he was a loyal soldier." 

How we the people of Louisiana wish we could say the same.  Yes, we know Jindal can't run for a third term, and he doesn't want to be bored when he leaves office, so he feels compelled to make friends around the country who will be beholden to him should he decide to make another run for president or vice-president.  It's amazing to me that Jindal even entertains the thought that he can ever be president, but I suppose stranger things have happened.  A little ego goes a long way, and Jindal seems to have far more than his fair share.  Still, if all else fails, surely there's a well-paid lobbyist job out there waiting for him.

Rick, Bobby's separated-at-birth twin

That the media, who hail Jindal as a shining light in the Republican Party, know so little about the wreck he has made of our state, which made such a poor showing even before Jindal's depredations is quite discouraging. 

Photo of Jindal by Gage Skidmore from Wikipedia.    

BOROWITZ REPORTS...

January 9, 2012

Other Republicans Agree Not to Tell Rick Perry Where Next Debate Is

‘Only Humane Thing,’ Candidates Say

Read the rest at The Borowitz Report.

WANT HIM FOR YOUR PRESNIT?

Or Herman Cain who says about himself:

“For every one person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are probably thousands who will say that none of that sort of activity ever came from Herman Cain.”

Alas, 'tis true. Folks in the audience at the debate booed the questioner who asked about 'that sort of activity'.

H/T for the two entries above to Adrastos at First Draft here and here.

The folks at FD are on a roll today.

BOROWITZ SAYS....

From the wonderful Andy Borowitz:

Rick Perry Needs to ‘Tone Down’ His Rhetoric, Says Kim Jong-Il

‘He Scares Me,’ North Korean Dictator Says

Read the rest at the link.

IN COLD BLOOD

Last night, I watched about 24 minutes of the Republican candidates for president forum on MSNBC, and that was all I could take. I missed the portion of the debate shown in the video. The applause at the mention of 234 executions which took place during the terms of Rick Perry as governor of Texas is chilling, even before Perry's explanation that he doesn't struggle with the executions, at which point the audience erupts in wild applause.

I remember my horror at reading Truman Capote's book In Cold Blood, about the murder of the Clutter family in Kansas by Richard Hickock and Perry Smith. Each time I hear about a state execution I think of the title of Capote's book. What is a state execution if not killing in cold blood?

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

AND THE GHOSTS OF PERRY'S PAST APPEAR

From Sarah Jones at Politicususa:

Here’s the story of how Rick Perry’s name became synonymous with “Teens with T*ts” in some circles. I’ve tried to make this safe for work, but if it’s not, blame Rick Perry, for such are the perils of reporting on good “Christians” like Mr James Richard Perry. If your employer has a problem with this, tell them to see Rick Perry; it’s his money trail we’re following.

Perhaps when you see Rick Perry’s bouffant pompadour, you don’t immediately think “cheerleader”, but pom-pon carrier he was, albeit for Texas A & M instead of the Bush Yale pom-pons that heralded the destruction of America’s economy. But you’re all right with pom-pons on a man. To each their own. You might not be OK with the whole Lieutenant Governor to George W Bush thing. You might not be OK with Perry’s theocratic beliefs. But truthfully, when you picture the handsome, smirking Rick Perry and his Texas down home drawl, are you thinking about pornography?

“Teens Never Say No” kind of pornography? How about “Teens with T*ts”?

In 1995, Perry invested 5 to 10 grand in Movie Gallery, 'at that time, the largest distributor of porn in America, and able to sell and rent regular videos for much cheaper than the competition due to their heady porn profit.' We had an outlet here, and they were a good bit cheaper than Blockbuster back then.

Didn't you know that once Perry took the national stage folks would dig into his background, and didn't you have the feeling that the dark corners were dirty? I know I did. Methinks Rick is going to flame out fast.

There's more, much more at the link. A sample:

What kind of man are we dealing with in Rick Perry? Is he still profiting off of what the AFA calls obscene pornography? Is he still making money off of titles like “Teens with Tits”? In keeping with this line of inquiry into his purported “family values”, we note that Perry also kept on the director of the Texas Film Commission who was disciplined for sexual harassment…twice.

Via Slinkerwink at Daily Kos. H/T to Dennis and Laura on Facebook.

And if I see one more photo of a politician eating a corn dog....

HA, HA, HA

Paul Begala at The Daily Beast:

I first met Rick Perry in 1985. He was a Democratic freshman state rep, straight off the ranch in Haskell, Texas. He wore his jeans so tight, and, umm, adjusted himself so often that my fellow young legislative aides and I used to call him Crotch. Even among state representatives, even among Texas Aggies (graduates of this cute remedial school we have in Texas), Perry stood out for his modest intellectual gifts. Hell, he got a C in animal breeding. I have goats who got an A in that subject. But lack of brains has never been a hindrance in politics.

Rick Perry threw his hair in the ring on Saturday. His entrance into the GOP presidential field can be a game changer. Perry can raise money as well as Mitt. He can rally the base as well as Michele Bachmann, and he will say or do anything—annnnnnnyyyyyyything—to win. And in today’s Republican Party, if you want to be the nominee you have to be willing to do some really crazy s--t.
....

When you’re more open to secession than Jefferson Davis was a century and a half ago, well, you've gone pretty far.'

Why am I laughing? The mocking humor of progressive elitists only serves to energize our conservative opponents. We must learn to take the pose of sobersides, look grim, never ridicule their senseless commentary, never make a joke at their expense. THEN, perhaps we'd take the wind out of their sails. Come on! We can do it!

Photo from Wikipedia.