Showing posts with label Rob Tisinai. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rob Tisinai. Show all posts

Friday, September 2, 2011

TAKING DOWN THE PROFESSOR'S ARGUMENT AGAINST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

The argument by Prof. John Araujo, SJ, Loyola University School of Law, posted at Mirror of Justice, comes via Rob Tisinai at Box Turtle Bulletin:
Let us assume that two planets which have not yet been inhabited by humans are to be colonized by them; on Planet Alpha, heterosexual couples only are assigned; on Planet Beta, only homosexual couples. In one hundred years, will both islands be populated assuming that reproductive technologies are not available to either group? I suggest that Planet Alpha will be; but Planet Beta will not. Why? The basic answer is to be found in the biological complementarity of the heterosexual couple necessary for procreation that is absent in same-sex couple.
Rob calls the professor's argument 'The Stoner Argument Against Same-Sex Marriage' because it reminds him of stoner conversations back in his college days.
Stoner: Dude, I just blew my mind.

Rob: I’m trying to study.

Stoner: Dude, I figured out why gay marriage is, like, a no-go!

Rob: I don’t have time –

Stoner: DUDE!

Rob: Fine. Tell me.

Stoner: Suppose we dump a bunch of gays on an empty planet.

Rob: Why would we do that?

Stoner: Dude…

Rob: Never mind. Go on.

Stoner: And we dump a bunch of straights on an empty planet.

Rob: Okay.

Stoner: So if we come back to Planet Straight in, like, a hundred years, we’d find a bunch of new people. BUT! If we go back to Planet Gay, there’d be like no people at all.

Rob: Why not?

Stoner: Because – dude! – they’re gay.

Rob: So?

Stoner: They’re gaaay.

Rob: They can still –

Stoner: Gaaaaaaaaaay.

Rob: What’s your point?

Stoner: Um…

Rob: Right.

Stoner: I remember! Don’t let gays marry.

Rob: Why?

Stoner: Dude, one of the planets is empty.

Rob: So your point is…we shouldn’t colonize planets with lesbians and gays?

Stoner: YES! Wait. No. Don’t let gays marry.

Rob: On other planets?

Stoner: No, dude, here, now, today!

Rob: Why not?

Stoner: Because of the planets, dude! The planets!

Rob: I don’t get it.

Stoner: Dude, you need to smoke more weed.
As I read the conversation, I was rolling on the floor, and I can tell you that it's hard to read while rolling on the floor. I hope Rob doesn't mind that I stole his very clever satire in its entirety. I couldn't resist. If he asks me to take it down, I will.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

SINFUL HOMOSEXUAL RECIPE

Rob Tisinai at Box Turtle Bulletin posted a sinful, homosexual recipe for "Sweet Potato and Apricot Puree with Pecan Streusel". As Rob says, the recipe is too late for Thanksgiving but is suitable for Christmas dinner. The casserole sounds delicious, but I don't know that I can recommend the dish, because I agree with Rob that it's homosexual and sinful. But if you want to take the risk....