Maxine's Parking Place

Maxine was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, she said, 'Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and tequila.'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

She looked up again and said, 'Never mind. I found one.'


After an all day marathon of unpostable jokes and a plea to send me something that I could use, Doug finally comes through.

Oh, Woe Is Me!

From the MadPriest:

So, I'm closing OCICBW... for a couple of days so I can concentrate on my tax return (oh joy!) and some nerdy stuff like catching up with the cataloging of my records. I've got some days off owed to me which Mrs MadPriest hasn't. I will be back blogging after the weekend. Go bother Eileen or Mimi. They just sit around all day painting their toe nails and stuff.

Well, y'all come and welcome, but if you do, when will I have time to paint my toenails?

I thought I should post this to explain the many references to painted toenails in my earlier post and the comments there.

Any resemblance to John Henry Newman in the picture above is purely coincidental.

UPDATE: Saintly Ramblings has volunteered to help shoulder the heavy burden placed by MadPriest on Eileen and me by posting what he calls "some really bad jokes". He has already begun, so you can pop over there and see. I don't know about Eileen, but I need all the help I can get.

UPDATE 2: Here's a link to a video at Eileen's blog on painting toenails blue. We thought you'd want to know.

The Shoes Of The Fisherman

With thanks to the rabbit.

UPDATE: From Ann comes a link to an article from the Washington Post via the Concord Monitor, an in-depth story on Roman Catholic clerical fashion. On Maria Ardovini, a shopkeeper in the vicinity of the Vatican:

Ardovini was all chatty until she was asked about Benedict's red shoes, and rumors that they are Prada. (Most people who looked into this closely agreed that they're not.) "Please don't say that," she said, her smile fading. "It's blasphemous."

Ah. It was such a good story.

UPDATE 2: There's this from the Wall Street Journal:

The most widely publicized papal branding event appears to have been the result of mistaken identity.

Over the past few months, scores of media reports have dubbed Benedict XVI the "Prada Pope," crediting the Italian fashion house with having made the pope's eye-catching red loafers.

The senior Vatican official says the loafers were actually made by the pope's personal cobbler. But Prada has refused to confirm or deny the reports, allowing the press speculation to continue. A spokesman for Prada said the fashion house lacked "the necessary elements" to make an accurate determination.

I want to get the story right.

After The "Debate" - Obama's Speech Today

Now that's excellent. He is an amazingly good speechmaker. To me, that's the perfect response to ABC and its moderators.

It's been a long time since I could trust a politician, and I'm not at that point yet, but Obama is quite appealing. I want the deeds to be as good as the words, and if he's elected I pray they will be.

Thanks to Paul at Byzigenous Buddhapalian for calling the video to my attention.

The Great Debate

All I know is what I read in the newspapers. Last night I searched around the channels for the debate in a half-hearted way, because I have seen enough and heard enough politicking during this campaign to last a lifetime. I never found it. I thought that many of the stations would be carrying it, not just ABC, and I never touched down there. No great loss to me, because I would not have lasted through the entire debate anyway.

From the Guardian:

American television network ABC was accused of bias and triviality today in the wake of the latest debate between Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.
....

The network was also criticised for a perceived slant against Illinois senator Barack Obama, particularly because moderator George Stephanopoulos worked in President Bill Clinton's White House as an adviser and aide.

By mid-morning today, readers had left more than 12,300 comments on the ABC News website, most of them attacking the programme.

"This debate should have been shown on E! or MTV," wrote one viewer named Dave_Gee.

Wow! Folks are catching on to how really, really low the tee vee news media have sunk. They are all E! or MTV! As I was listening to the talking heads comment after the debate, I was thinking to myself, "How many ordinary voters on the street are even aware of the trivia that the moderators are pounding with such force?" I've seen snippets of the video, and Stephanopoulos and Gibson had some truly awful moments. They should be ashamed.

Editor and Publisher said:

Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the health care and mortgage crises, the overall state of the economy and dozens of other pressing issues had to wait for their few moments in the sun as Obama was pressed to explain his recent "bitter" gaffe and relationship with Rev. Wright (seemingly a dead issue) and not wearing a flag pin while Clinton had to answer again for her Bosnia trip exaggerations.

"Bitter", the Rev. Wright, and A FLAG PIN! I weep. A FLAG PIN! And they gave that woman air time!

OK. Here's what I want. Clinton and Obama stop attacking each other RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS MINUTE! Tell us what you will do to begin to bring the country back from the seven years of pillage and destruction wrought by the Bush maladministration. Don't promise miracles, because the way back will be long and difficult. Tell us the truth. Begin to attack the disastrous policies of John McCain, for crying out loud. I didn't think it was possible to have a president worse than Bush, but I believe McCain could be just that. Only go into attack mode when you're talking about John McCain's plans for the country. Got it?

As for the tee vee media. I give up. The news shows are so far from the best of what we had in years past, that I doubt if there is a way back for them in my lifetime.

"Cry Baby Dance!!"

Can you tease out my demographic target from these two silly Friday Thursday posts?

From the Weird Rabbit. Who else?

UPDATE: Yes, I thought today was Friday. Retirement does that to you. The days run together.

Gracefully Aging Men - Part 2

Back by popular demand.







The aging Clint Eastwood looks pretty damned good to me. The camera caught him in an unfortunate posture, but he actually has aged gracefully. No irony intended for Clint.

And last and least.



You would have had to like the way he looked when he was young.

Dogs Attack Alligator!

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the 'apex predator,' can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and 'survival of the pack mentality' bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish.

Click here to see the picture.

Thanks to Lapin.

US Diplomats Ordered To Serve In Iraq

From the Toledo Blade:

WASHINGTON - The State Department is warning U.S. diplomats they may be forced to serve in Iraq next year and says it will soon start identifying prime candidates for jobs at the Baghdad embassy and in outlying provinces, according to a cable obtained yesterday by the Associated Press.
....

"We face a growing challenge of supply and demand in the 2009 staffing cycle," the cable said, noting that more than 20 percent of the nearly 12,000 foreign service officers have already worked in the two major hardship posts, Iraq and Afghanistan, and a growing number have done tours in both countries.
....

Yesterday Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said that she had been personally offended by the critical comments of some diplomats who questioned the ethics of sending people against their will to a war zone.

One diplomat, at an October meeting, called the forced assignments a "potential death sentence" to loud applause.

Ah, but the surge is working! The diplomats should have no fear.

So Condi is "personally offended" that anyone dares to question her ethics. Condi, get real. You're the one who told the CIA, “This is your baby. Go do it!” the "baby" and the "it" being torture, my friends, just in case you're wondering.

From The SC Of The Diocese of Western Louisiana

STATEMENT OF THE STANDING COMMITTEE DIOCESE OF WESTERN LOUISIANA
This 14th day of April, 2008.

We, the Standing Committee of the Diocese of Western Louisiana, make this statement that we do not recognize the depositions of Bishops Schofield and Cox as having had the requisite canonical votes necessary for the deposition of a bishop. We would refer the Church to the March 27, 2008 letter from the Standing Committee and Bishop of South Carolina to the Presiding Bishop, which we believe to be correct in its recitation of the applicable canons and their history.

This is not my diocese, although there has been talk of combining the two Louisiana dioceses into one. The territory of the Diocese of Western Louisiana comprises western and northern Louisiana.

From Drell's Descants.