A guy is 85 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,"Pick me up."
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
With age comes wisdom.
Thanks to Jim from up Nawth - Louisiana, that is.
UPDATE: This joke is especially dedicated to my new Louisiana friend, Crapaud.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
What Do Prayers Of Petition Do?
As I walked tonight, my thoughts turned to prayers of petition. What good do they do? Just how does God act in response to prayers of petition? I believe that petitionary prayer is efficacious, but I'm not sure how it works. Goodness knows that I do enough of it, therefore I must believe that what I do has a purpose. I know that in my act of praying for another, I am changed by the prayer, and I believe that the prayers affect the person or persons for whom I pray for good. What I see as the result of my prayers may not always be what I want or what I expect for myself or others, and yet I continue to pray.
Our church has a prayer chain ministry, a list of people to call who are willing to pray and pass the prayer request on whenever someone asks. Sometimes the chain gets a kink or in a knot, and the prayers don't move along the chain in a timely manner, or even at all. At times, the event, such as an operation or a life or death situation, passes before the prayers are prayed. I feel sad and discouraged about the ministry when that happens.
Here on this blog and other blogs, posting prayer requests has become what I view as a prayer ministry. Some come early to the prayers and others later. Yet, as I walked and pondered these things, what I came to see is that none of the prayers are for nothing. I believe God hears and answers all the prayers, even retroactively, so to speak. The very instant a person asks for prayer, God responds. The prayers that come late are part of God's response as much as those that come early - or so it seems to me.
Certain family members are presently experiencing a difficult time of it, and I pray for them and feel great concern for them. As I was praying for them during my walk, my prayers were rather abruptly interrupted by a voice, not an audible voice, but an inner voice that speaks to the heart. The words were from Chapter 14 of John's Gospel, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives." The words came plain and clear. The words of Jesus that follow are quite comforting, "Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."
The inner voice continued with words from Numbers 6,
"The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."
What I think of as my solitary walks oftentimes result in amazingly fruitful companionship with God.
Our church has a prayer chain ministry, a list of people to call who are willing to pray and pass the prayer request on whenever someone asks. Sometimes the chain gets a kink or in a knot, and the prayers don't move along the chain in a timely manner, or even at all. At times, the event, such as an operation or a life or death situation, passes before the prayers are prayed. I feel sad and discouraged about the ministry when that happens.
Here on this blog and other blogs, posting prayer requests has become what I view as a prayer ministry. Some come early to the prayers and others later. Yet, as I walked and pondered these things, what I came to see is that none of the prayers are for nothing. I believe God hears and answers all the prayers, even retroactively, so to speak. The very instant a person asks for prayer, God responds. The prayers that come late are part of God's response as much as those that come early - or so it seems to me.
Certain family members are presently experiencing a difficult time of it, and I pray for them and feel great concern for them. As I was praying for them during my walk, my prayers were rather abruptly interrupted by a voice, not an audible voice, but an inner voice that speaks to the heart. The words were from Chapter 14 of John's Gospel, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives." The words came plain and clear. The words of Jesus that follow are quite comforting, "Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."
The inner voice continued with words from Numbers 6,
"The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."
What I think of as my solitary walks oftentimes result in amazingly fruitful companionship with God.
Health Care In New Orleans For Those Without Insurance
From the Times-Picayune:
To help people who have lost health insurance, a second-year Tulane University medical student has built an online guide to free and low-cost local clinics.
Richard Brucker created Nola Free Health Care, which is also available on paper at homeless shelters and community centers. The information includes clinic hours, the type of care available and the cost, if any.
What a great thing to do. Richard is an example of a good citizen who sees a need and jumps right in with a solution, instead of waiting for the local officials or some other agency to do the job. Since the homeless and those without health insurance often do not have computers, having the information available on paper handouts is an excellent idea.
The site includes information on pharmacies which sell a list of drugs at low cost and a mobile dental van which serves persons who are HIV positive.
Richard is a mensch.
Mensch - A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose: "He radiates the kind of fundamental decency that has a name in Yiddish; he's a mensch" James Atlas
From the Free Online Dictionary.
Do I hear an "Amen!"?
To help people who have lost health insurance, a second-year Tulane University medical student has built an online guide to free and low-cost local clinics.
Richard Brucker created Nola Free Health Care, which is also available on paper at homeless shelters and community centers. The information includes clinic hours, the type of care available and the cost, if any.
What a great thing to do. Richard is an example of a good citizen who sees a need and jumps right in with a solution, instead of waiting for the local officials or some other agency to do the job. Since the homeless and those without health insurance often do not have computers, having the information available on paper handouts is an excellent idea.
The site includes information on pharmacies which sell a list of drugs at low cost and a mobile dental van which serves persons who are HIV positive.
Richard is a mensch.
Mensch - A person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose: "He radiates the kind of fundamental decency that has a name in Yiddish; he's a mensch" James Atlas
From the Free Online Dictionary.
Do I hear an "Amen!"?
Don't Take Your 92 Year Old Dad To The Mall
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Don't blame me, blame Susan S., who was sent this story by another person. Susan is not related to the character in the story, nor does she vouch for the truth of the story.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Don't blame me, blame Susan S., who was sent this story by another person. Susan is not related to the character in the story, nor does she vouch for the truth of the story.
Doorman-Priest Made Me Do It
Could you put this appeal out on your blog please.
Could all British regulars of Wounded Bird please contact Doorman-Priest via his blog where his e-mail address is shown. He has a proposition to put to you.
Thanks
Jack
May I say that Jack has been the kindest and most helpful of virtual friends as I planned my trip. I'm greatly looking forward to meeting him and his family. They've taken me under their wings, and I'm not even there yet. I can't thank him and his lovely Rachel enough.
I'm also looking forward with much pleasure to meeting others in the English blogging community while I'm "over there".
Could all British regulars of Wounded Bird please contact Doorman-Priest via his blog where his e-mail address is shown. He has a proposition to put to you.
Thanks
Jack
May I say that Jack has been the kindest and most helpful of virtual friends as I planned my trip. I'm greatly looking forward to meeting him and his family. They've taken me under their wings, and I'm not even there yet. I can't thank him and his lovely Rachel enough.
I'm also looking forward with much pleasure to meeting others in the English blogging community while I'm "over there".
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Am I The Only One...
in the whole USA who is not watching the Superbowl? Check in if you are NOT watching the BIG GAME. Grandpère popped in periodically to give me a play-by-play of the pre-game festivities, and he cannot believe that I'm not watching. Millions of people in the country and around the world have eyes glued to their tee vees, so why not me? I can't think why he's surprised, because I don't remember ever watching. I missed the whole Janet Jackson affaire du teton, but I saw the rerun. If the New Orleans Saints ever make it to the Superbowl, I'll watch.
New Orleans, Katrina Was All Your Fault!
From the AP via USA Today:
Pope Benedict XVI's decision to promote a pastor who called Hurricane Katrina divine punishment for sin in New Orleans was criticized by Austrian priests and church groups on Sunday.
The Vatican announced Saturday that the Pope has tapped the Rev. Gerhard Maria Wagner, 54, to be auxiliary bishop in Linz, the capital of Upper Austria province. Wagner caused a stir in 2005 when he was quoted as saying that he was convinced that the death and destruction of Hurricane Katrina earlier that year was "divine retribution" for tolerance of homosexuals and laid-back sexual attitudes in New Orleans.
There you go, people in New Orleans, you brought Katrina and the federal flood on yourselves with your wicked ways. Nightclubs, brothels, and abortion clinics were destroyed. That proves beyond a doubt the truth of Fr.Wagner's statements, right? Too bad about all the good folks who died, lost their families, their homes, their livelihoods, and their businesses, but retribution is retribution, and sometimes the good must suffer with the bad.
Upper Austrian priest and church dean Franz Wild said he was "appalled" by the decision and that he found it astonishing that someone with such extreme positions could be appointed to a post that was meant to unify.
"I hope it's clear to the church that we're living in the 21st century and that it also has to live there," the newspaper quoted Wild as saying on its website.
....
"The conditions of immorality in this city are indescribable," Wagner was quoted as saying.
I wonder what kind of pure land Fr. Wagner inhabits. If he put his mind to it, I'll wager he could manage a description of the indescribale. People want to know.
I continue to attempt to give Pope Benedict XVI the benefit of the doubt in his policies, but it gets more and more difficult to discover a benign motive behind several of his recent decisions.
Pope Benedict XVI's decision to promote a pastor who called Hurricane Katrina divine punishment for sin in New Orleans was criticized by Austrian priests and church groups on Sunday.
The Vatican announced Saturday that the Pope has tapped the Rev. Gerhard Maria Wagner, 54, to be auxiliary bishop in Linz, the capital of Upper Austria province. Wagner caused a stir in 2005 when he was quoted as saying that he was convinced that the death and destruction of Hurricane Katrina earlier that year was "divine retribution" for tolerance of homosexuals and laid-back sexual attitudes in New Orleans.
There you go, people in New Orleans, you brought Katrina and the federal flood on yourselves with your wicked ways. Nightclubs, brothels, and abortion clinics were destroyed. That proves beyond a doubt the truth of Fr.Wagner's statements, right? Too bad about all the good folks who died, lost their families, their homes, their livelihoods, and their businesses, but retribution is retribution, and sometimes the good must suffer with the bad.
Upper Austrian priest and church dean Franz Wild said he was "appalled" by the decision and that he found it astonishing that someone with such extreme positions could be appointed to a post that was meant to unify.
"I hope it's clear to the church that we're living in the 21st century and that it also has to live there," the newspaper quoted Wild as saying on its website.
....
"The conditions of immorality in this city are indescribable," Wagner was quoted as saying.
I wonder what kind of pure land Fr. Wagner inhabits. If he put his mind to it, I'll wager he could manage a description of the indescribale. People want to know.
I continue to attempt to give Pope Benedict XVI the benefit of the doubt in his policies, but it gets more and more difficult to discover a benign motive behind several of his recent decisions.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Inauguration Pictures
Ann sent me a link to an amazing set of pictures of the inauguration of President Obama from the Boston Globe. President Obama. I love the sound and look of that. I'll type it again. President Obama.
The picture above is my favorite. Schadenfreude? I don't think so. It's a picture rich with significance on many levels.
The pictures show people from the US and from all around the world watching the inauguration.
The picture above is my favorite. Schadenfreude? I don't think so. It's a picture rich with significance on many levels.
The pictures show people from the US and from all around the world watching the inauguration.
We Will See More Of This
Please read the moving post by Elizabeth Kaeton on the unemployed Tom who went to the parish hall of her church, The Episcopal Church of St. Paul, seeking help. Elizabeth's blog is Telling Secrets.
Two members of our blog community, JCF and JimB, who are both currently without employment, left comments to the post. It's a heartbreaking read all around, and we are likely to hear more and more stories like this, and perhaps go through the experience ourselves or, vicariously, with close family members. And then, there is David, who was recently laid off. It will get worse before it gets better.
Two members of our blog community, JCF and JimB, who are both currently without employment, left comments to the post. It's a heartbreaking read all around, and we are likely to hear more and more stories like this, and perhaps go through the experience ourselves or, vicariously, with close family members. And then, there is David, who was recently laid off. It will get worse before it gets better.
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