Career Change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMOs and a medical center who did not pay him what he was worth. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial and he could write his own ticket, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the doc prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

David Brooks' Beltway Wisdom

From Glenn Greenwald at Salon:

The New York Times' David Brooks and Gail Collins had an online "conversation" with one another this week, and Brooks did an excellent job of explicitly demonstrating most everything that is relevant -- and destructive -- about the mentality of the standard Beltway journalist (h/t reader jm). In fact, much of what Brooks wrote about what he believes tracks almost completely the discussion I had with Jay Rosen on Bill Moyers' show last week regarding the rot of the American political press. First, there's this from Brooks:

What I’m really annoyed by, though, is the withdrawal of Tom Daschle. What are we, a nation of virgins? . . .

Of course, Obama asked for all this with his cynical promise to ban lobbyists from his administration. There’s a word for lobbyists: experts. Some are sleazy and many are quite admirable, but the idea of trying to run Washington without them is absurd.

To David Brooks, lobbyists are nothing more than "experts" who provide important and helpful insight to legislators as they earnestly try to craft laws in the public interest. Not only are lobbyists a positive influence, but they're actually indispensable. The fact that these so-called "experts" are paid by the wealthiest corporate factions to ensure that the laws Congress passes are designed to serve their narrow, insular interests -- and that this is accomplished by pouring money into the coffers of the very people who write the laws so that they're writing the laws that serve these interests -- never makes it into Brooks' understanding of this process. Thus, he is baffled that anyone would find lobbyist-domination of our political process to be at all objectionable.

David Brooks is no favorite of mine. He's never been. Often, his columns seem incoherent to me, and trying to make sense of them turns my brain into mush. I stopped reading him a long time ago. But he's clear enough in his idiotic description of corporate lobbyists as "experts". Experts in what? In getting legislation passed that will benefit their clients who pay them money. That's where their expertise lies. They may very well know a good deal about the subject of the legislation, but their loyalty is to the clients who pay them.

When former lobbyists serve in the administration of an elected official, how easy is it to completely break away from loyalty to former clients and serve the best interests of the the citizens of the country? I'd wager that it's not easy.

Obama works against the culture of the Beltway. The culture embraces the elected officials, the corporate lobbyists, and the top tier DC press and pundits in a cozy circle. They attend the same dinner and cocktail parties and exchange insider gossip. I doubt that group of press people could function outside the circle, because they've long forgotten how to, you know, gather news. They're well paid, most certainly not of the hungry-reporter species.

My main objection to Tom Daschle was not the tax problem. That can happen to anyone, right? Except if one the little people make a "mistake" of a couple of hundred dollars, the IRS could be on them rather quickly. It's his being part of the corporate lobby culture of cars with drivers, salaries in the millions, etc. that caused me to want him gone. That he actually lobbied for the health care industry seemed significant to me. We must believe him capable of quickly shedding the lobbyist skin and donning the skin of a fierce advocate of ordinary people, who so badly need a fix for health care in the US.

Are we to believe that lobbyists are the only folks with expertise?

Greenwald appeared with Jay Rosen on Bill Moyers Journal. He quotes Rosen:

JAY ROSEN: Well, what doesn't get considered, Bill, is that there could be anything radically wrong with Washington. That the entire institution could be broken. That there are new rules necessary. That idea, that the institutions of Washington have failed and need to be changed, doesn't really occur to the press, because as Glenn said, they're one of those institutions. And they're one of the ones that failed.

Yes.

Read the conversation between David Brooks and Gail Collins at the link. There Brooks exposes the weakness of his brain function from which come the incoherent columns. Obama ruined his honeymoon, folks. Shall we all send him sympathy cards?

I'm grinding my teeth as I write. I'd best end the post while my teeth are intact.

UPDATE: Post edited to clarify that I referred to corporate lobbyists in the post. Thanks to Bruce C, who works for the American Library Association, for reminding me in the comments that not all lobbying is a bad thing.

A Message From Roseann

Dear Mimi,

It is hard enough to feel so poorly and not knowing why makes it just that much worse. Yet I woke up this morning feeling grace and peace. I sincerely do not think I could survive this trial without the prayers of my family and friends. I was feeling very whiney and abused and shook my fist at God asking what did I do to deserve this. A few hours later I started getting emails and messages from all over the world sending me healing, love and peace. Again I have to ask what did I do to deserve this. The good news for me is I don't get what I deserve. I always get mercy when I deserve judgement, hope when I deserve fear, love when I deserve indifference.

Please pass on the message for me that I am so grateful. I will have more tests done on Monday and then we play the waiting game a little longer to get a diagnosis. Whatever happens I will keep plugging away. Thank you and thank my OCICBW friends for the prayers and kind thoughts.

love, Roseann

Her words made me cry. What a brave woman our dear Roseann is. You see that the prayers and the messages help. Roseann doesn't give up, so we must not. Please continue to pray and support her with emails. She doesn't have access to blogs through the hospital server, so emails are her lifeline.

I'm sorry to say that this message came in yesterday and went into my trash mail, because it was a new address. I just found it tonight. Better late than never.

Roseann's email address: revamundo(at)gmail(dot)com

Still No Good News On Roseann

Hi Mimi,

I just spoke with Roseann, and she is very down saying everyone wants a piece of her. She had an upper GI series, x-rays, and dialysis today and is exhausted. Because of the nausea and pain, she is munching on ice chips and nothing else. So she has not only not slept, but not eaten in 5 days.

I'm hoping the tumor biopsy report will be available tomorrow so they can proceed onto the next step, Whatever that is.

Keep prayin' y'all!

Sue

Oh my! I have no words, but pray, pray, pray!

Doing what Don Wildman Tells Me

The following is an example of the emails that I get as a result of filling out the survey by the American Family Association. I requested that my email address be removed from their list, but I continue to receive messages from them. I meant to block them, but I forgot. I will now. The survey was for the purposes of obtaining email addresses. I won't make the mistake of filling out a survey at a fundie site again.

Please help us get this information into the hands of as many people as possible by forwarding it to your entire e-mail list of family and friends.

Now available! My new book 'Speechless...Silencing The Christians'

February 16, 2009

Dear June,

You’ve seen the TV show and have perhaps purchased DVDs of Speechless: Silencing the Christians, a documentary series co-produced by the Inspiration Networks and the American Family Association. Now you can get my book which has just been released to you, my friends, and to Christian bookstores and secular markets as well.

My purpose in writing the book is to make people aware that Christians are being silenced all across America: in the political debate, the public square, the schools, the workplace, and even in the sanctuary of their own churches. You’ll find accounts by Christians all over the United States that were never (and probably never will be) covered by main stream media.

I have a two-fold purpose in this message as well. First, I’d like for AFA supporters to be able to receive my book for a donation of $24.95. Secondly, I’d like for you to help AFA get the word out about this book. I am including a printable flyer for you to take, not only to your local Christian book store, but to secular book stores as well and asked them to please stock this book. It is my hope and prayer that the information in my book will inspire more and more people to join the fight to keep Christian voices strong in our darkening culture.

Click here to get the book for a suggested donation of $24.95.

Click here to download and print the flyer to distribute to bookstores.

Sincerely,

Don

Donald E. Wildmon,
Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

No link. I'm not that stupid.

Wagner Declines Papal Promotion

From the Herald Tribune:

A conservative pastor who suggested God punished New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina says he's relieved after passing up a papal promotion that had sparked an outcry from Austrian Catholics.

Pope Benedict XVI promoted Gerhard Maria Wagner to the post of auxiliary bishop in Linz on Jan. 31, causing an uproar from church groups and priests. Late Sunday, Wagner unexpectedly announced his decision to turn down the opportunity.

That's good news. One wonders if Fr. Wagner got a bit of a nudge before announcing his unexpected decision which resulted in such relief for him. Whatever. If he's the best the pope can find amongst conservative priests in his domain to promote to bishop, then he's in trouble.

All Night Long

As some of you already know, my father was an alcoholic. I've sobbed away already about my wretched childhood, but it's not my intention do that here. I present to you a memory of odd, though essentially benign, behavior by my father when he was, as they say, in his cups. He'd be drinking, probably at a bar, and some nights, when he'd made it home, he was moved to play "By the Light of the Silvery Moon" on the old Victrola all night long. That's right, all night long. He didn't play it loud enough to keep us from sleeping, but if we happened to wake up, we'd hear the old song. Mind you, this was the 1940s, and he played the single on an old wind-up Victrola. He had to put the needle back on the beginning of the record each time and keep the record player wound up to keep it going.

Sometimes, it was still going in the morning when we got up, when my mother would put a stop to it. I can't swear it was Al Jolson's version, but of the old versions that I've listened to, it seems the most likely. I know that my father liked Al Jolson. Despite the all-nighters, or perhaps because of them, I'm still fond of the song.

Place - park, scene - dark
Silv'ry moon is shining through the trees
Cast - two, me - you
Summer kisses floating on the breeze
Act one, be done
Dialog - where would ya like to spoon?
My cue, with you
Underneath the silv'ry moon

By the light of the silvery moon
I wanna spoon
To my honey I'll croon love's tune
Honey moon, keep a-shinin' in June
Your silv'ry beams will bring love's dreams
We'll be cuddlin' soon by the silvery moon

Thoughts For The Weekend

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember!

A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

Doug, I never do. I know where my bread is buttered. What WOULD I do without you?

NO RUBBER CHICKEN DINNER

Grandpère and I went to a no-rubber-chicken dinner the other night. Our neighbors invited us to attend the annual banquet of a local business group, and GP accepted the invitation for both of us, although I had already told him that I didn't want to go to those dinners any longer. The food is usually bad, and the speakers are often boring. However, that night I was pleasantly surprised. The menu did not include rubber chicken, but crab cakes that were quite tasty. The MC moved the business part of the meeting right along, and the ex-president and president spoke only briefly.

Jay Dardenne, the Louisiana Secretary of State, the after-dinner speaker, was quite good. He talked about the uniqueness of the history of Louisiana and listed the 10 books about the state that we should all read, if we have not already read them. Interspersed in the listing of the books, he played snatches of typical Louisiana music, jazz, Cajun music, zydeco, Jimmy Davis, Lead Belly, Hank Williams, Doug Kershaw, etc., which entertained more than a simple listing and description of books. Dardenne does a mean imitation of Huey Long, including the shouting and the wild flailing of the arms which were part his speechmaking.

Here's the list of the nine of the ten that I could remember.

Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

A Lesson Before Dying - Ernest Gaines

The Last Hayride - John Maginnis

Bayou Farewell - Mike Tidwell

Rising Tide - John M. Barry

All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren

Huey Long - T. Harry Williams

The Tin Roof Blowdown - James Lee Burke

The Earl of Louisiana - A. J. Liebling

After I wrote the words above, I thought, "There's no story here, nothing that anyone would be interested in reading," and I quit writing. But it turns out there is a bit of a story.

Now for the digression. Last August, during the clean-up after Hurricane Gustav, one of the tree men backed his truck into the street light in front of our house and knocked it down. The fallen light pole lay in the front yard for three weeks, despite our calls to have it picked up, since the grass needed cutting. Finally a couple of trucks from the city came and removed the pole.

Now we liked our street light in front of the house. On moonless nights, it's quite dark, and our driveway is difficult to see to turn in. We waited a couple of months, but no one came to replace the light, so we called the city public works department, whose employees assured us that our light would be replaced "as soon as possible". Then, after several more calls, with no results, we called the mayor's office. We never got the mayor on the phone, because he was always "at a meeting", "on the phone", or "out of the office". I told Grandpère that we should simply storm his office unannounced, but he did not agree.

One day, when I made one our periodic calls, the person I talked to told me that the city decided that they would try to get FEMA to pay for replacing the lights (ours was not the only one damaged by the storm). I almost screamed into the phone, "FEMA! You do realize that if you wait for FEMA, we will never get our light. It could be never, not in my lifetime, a long time away, any of those, but NOT SOON." The woman chuckled. So there we were.

We made a few more of what we thought were useless calls to the mayor, asking if they had heard back from FEMA and were told , "Not yet". No surprise there. Finally, one day I called the public works department again and was told that the city had decided that they would go ahead and buy the lights. Yay!

Back to the dinner. I saw the elusive mayor sitting at one of the tables, and I determined that I would make a beeline for him when the dinner was over. I told GP, and he said, "Don't do that." I told him, "Are you kidding? We've been trying to talk to him for weeks, no months, and he's right there, and you don't want me to bother him. I don't think so."

As soon as folks started getting up from their tables, I was on my way. I cornered him and asked him nicely when we were going to get our street light back. He came up with a list of reasons why it was taking so long, one being that the company that made the poles had a backlog since Gustav and was filling the orders slowly. That made sense, but I wondered just when the city had got around to placing the orders. I told him that we were thinking of putting up a pole ourselves, a creosoted black telephone pole with a light on it. I said that the neighbors probably wouldn't like it, but that we could not find our driveway in the dark.

The very next afternoon, the city trucks showed up with our light pole. Nothing like a close encounter to bring action. But wait! GP called the following day to thank the mayor for the quick action. His assistant told GP that one, only one, light pole had come in, and yep, we got it. Now we have a shiny new street light, but we don't yet have illumination, because Entergy, our power company, must come to connect the power to the pole. The men who put up the pole told us that the city would contact Entergy about powering up the pole. Our next phone project is to call Entergy to light a fire under them to connect our light to their power source.

In the middle of writing the post, I took a time-out to watch nearly the whole of "Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing", a movie from the 1950s with William Holden and Jennifer Jones. William Holden had very cute legs. I fact, he was very cute from top to bottom. I had a major crush on him through my high school years. Jennifer Jones was gorgeous in the movie, with her semi-Chinese clothes and lovely face and figure. They just don't make romantic movies like that any more. Even GP was swept away, and he's not the romantic type. Plus, the beautiful song played throughout the movie, and there was the wonderful scenery in Hong Kong. Truly all around satisfying, a feast for the eyes and ears.


A bit risqué for the 1950s, don't you think?

Celebrating Valentine's Day

 

A woman walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged,
well-dressed man standing at the counter methodically placing
"Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals
each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume.

The woman's curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the
man and asks what he is doing. The man replies, "I'm
sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" she asks.

"Because I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Don't blame me, blame Doug.

Contra Doug's cynicism, Grandpère gave me the flowers in the picture yesterday, enough to fill two vases. Just sayin'.

The two oil paintings are by my grandson. The fleur-de-lis is mine, and the fish is Grandpère's.