WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from mens' bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2.. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mum marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Mums & Dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Thanks to Erika.

"...generous discretion...."

From The Lead at the Episcopal Café:

Episcopal bishops in the six states that have legalized same-sex marriage are asking the Church's General Convention to "permit the adaptation of the Pastoral Offices for The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage and The Blessing of a Civil Marriage for use with all couples who seek the church's support and God's blessing in their marriages."

The legislation is being proposed by Bishop Stephen T. Lane of Maine. Sponsors include: Bishops Andrew Smith, Laura Ahrens and James Curry of Connecticut; Bishop Alan Scarfe of Iowan; Bishops Thomas Shaw, Roy Cederholm and Gayle Harris of Massachusetts; Bishop Gene Robinson of New Hampshire and Bishop Thomas Ely of Vermont.

Resolved, That in those dioceses, under the direction of the bishop, generous discretion is extended to clergy in the exercise of their pastoral ministry in order to permit the adaptation of the Pastoral Offices for The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage and The Blessing of a Civil Marriage for use with all couples who seek the church's support and God's blessing in their marriages; and be it further

Resolved, That in order to build a body of experience for the benefit of the church, each bishop in those dioceses where this pastoral practice is exercised provide an annual written report on their experience to the House of Bishops each March and to the Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music for its report to the 77th General Convention.

Read the explanation of the resolution at the Café.

UPDATE: I forgot to thank Ann for the link.

The Missing Governor Returns!

From the LA Times:

South Carolina's wandering governor, Mark Sanford, said today he had an affair with an Argentine woman and that was why he disappeared without telling anyone he went to South America.

"The bottom line is this: I've been unfaithful to my wife," he said. "I've developed a relationship with a dear dear friend from Argentina."

Speaking at a nationally televised news conference, Sanford apologized to his wife, his four boys, his family and the people of South Carolina for his disappearance and for leaving his staff and family to make up excuses for his absence. Sanford's staff had insisted at one point that he was off hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

An affair with "a dear dear friend from Argentina", is it?

I, for one, am so surprised! What was he thinking? It's not just the hypocrisy, but also the stupidity.

"I wanted to do something exotic," Sanford explained earlier, before admitting the affair, calling Buenos Aires "a great city."

This story is tragic. Sanford's wife and children suffer from his cupidity and stupidity.

Thus endeth his designs on the presidency - or maybe not. Republicans are quite forgiving of adulterers and drug addicts, even as they claim to be the party of "family values".

UPDATE: Sanford's sorry-ass performance on TV is at Huffington Post - all tearful 18 minutes of it.

Why Boys Need Parents

This is for those mothers of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older...
And anyone else who needs a laugh.

 

 

 

If you don't send this to a few old friends, there will be fewer people laughing in the world....

Thanks to Erika.

Feast Of The Birth Of John The Baptist

"The Birth of John the Baptist" - Jacopo Pontormo (1494 –1557)- Uffizi Gallery


Readings:

Psalm 85 or 85:7-13
Isaiah 40:1-11
Acts 13:14b-26
Luke 1:57-80


PRAYER

Almighty God, by whose providence your servant John the Baptist was wonderfully born, and sent to prepare the way of your Son our Savior by preaching repentance: Make us so to follow his teaching and holy life, that we may truly repent according to his preaching; and, following his example, constantly speak the truth, boldly rebuke vice, and patiently suffer for the truth's sake; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

In his biographical sketch of John the Baptist, James Kiefer says:

When John had been in prison for a while, he sent some of his followers to Jesus to ask, "Are you he that is to come, or is there another?" (Matthew 11:2-14) One way of understanding the question is as follows: "It was revealed to me that you are Israel's promised deliverer, and when I heard this, I rejoiced. I expected you to drive out Herod and the Romans, and rebuild the kingdom of David. But here I sit in prison, and there is no deliverance in sight? Perhaps I am ahead of schedule, and you are going to throw out the Romans next year. Perhaps I have misunderstood, and you have a different mission, and the Romans bit will be done by someone else. Please let me know what is happening."

I had never thought to see John's question to Jesus in this light, but it seems quite logical after reading Kiefer's note.


Psalm 85:8-13

Let me hear what God the Lord will speak,
for he will speak peace to his people,
to his faithful, to those who turn to him in their hearts.*
Surely his salvation is at hand for those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.

Steadfast love and faithfulness will meet;
righteousness and peace will kiss each other.
Faithfulness will spring up from the ground,
and righteousness will look down from the sky.
The Lord will give what is good,
and our land will yield its increase.
Righteousness will go before him,
and will make a path for his steps.

Image from Wiki.

Prayers Please For Joel and Margaret

From Margaret at Leave It Lay Where Jesus Flang It:

It seems we are not done yet.

We walked in to the clinic--a month of endurance through lisping, choking, slurred speech and more (much more) to get to this point, anxious to find out what comes next, hopeful that we could now work toward a goal, know what is in hand... and we walk out with nothing. A wrong diagnosis. No diagnosis in hand. More money out of our pocket.

It's just so wrong. And what is so difficult is that when it comes to brain impairment, and yes, that is what is happening, we just don't know why --it seems that there is a disappearing act as the past fades, the present is confused and chaotic, and the future is nil. Personhood denuded.

What to do?

Joel, Margaret's husband, and Margaret both need our prayers now. Please read the rest of her beautiful post, so full of faith, even in the midst of her distress over her husband's illness and the subsequent misdiagnosis of his condition.

O God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers: Mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to your servant Joel the help of your power, that his sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

(Book of Common Prayer, p. 458)

And this for Margaret on the feast day of the birth of John the Baptist, because she loves "St. Patrick's Breastplate":

I bind this day to me forever,
by power of faith, Christ's Incarnation;
his baptism in the Jordan river;
his death on the cross for my salvation;
his bursting from the spiced tomb;
his riding up the heavenly way;
his coming at the day of doom:
I bind unto myself today.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

FCA Acting Out In England

Read Adrian Worsfold at Pluralist Speaks to see what the Fellowship of Confessing Anglicans is up to in England. In truth I've lost my way in distinguishing amongst the identities and character of the various groups who are displeased not only with the Episcopal Church, but the Church of England, the Church of Scotland (Presbyterian), and the Church in Wales(?) and want to establish some sort of alternative structure in Britain. FCA was, or is, sometimes known as FOCA, which is an extension of GAFCON, scheduled a series of (unfortunate?) events "over there".

I left a comment which Adrian has not moderated through yet. I said this or something close to it:

"What's sauce for the goose.... I'm trying to restrain myself from schadenfreude. However, I realize that it's possible that no matter what Rowan would have said or done in the last couple of years, the groups intent on division would have proceeded with their plans. If the ABC did not see the incursions coming in England, I surely did."

After all, the Church of England is the jewel in the crown of the Anglican Communion.

On The Other Hand....

Diligent citizen that I am, I read the transcript of President Obama's news conference and watched the entire video. I'm grateful that Obama seems to be capable of thinking on his feet and expressing his thoughts articulately and coherently during the question/answer period of the news conference, which is a massive shift from the off-the-cuff remarks of our previous president, who was always in perilous territory when he was speaking on his own. Obama actually seems to be knowledgeable about the issues and able to grasp the details of policies and problems without a script.

So. If you ask me, "Is our presidents learning?" my response would have to be, "Yes!" Nevermind that we had to change presidents in order for me to give an affirmative response.

The video of the entire news conference is at Politics Daily. The transcript is at the New York Times.

What I Wrote To My Congress People

Dear Senators Landrieu and Vitter, and Rep. Melancon,

The citizens of the country want the public option included in health care legislation. Despite tremendous pressure from the groups who give you money, lobbyists for the health insurance industry, the drug industry, and the AMA, for you to vote against it, the people whom you are elected to serve want the public option. It's time to pay attention to the ordinary citizens of the country.

Thank you for your attention.

I followed up with a phone call to their offices in DC suggesting that they take a position for the inclusion of the public option in health care legislation and asking for their positions on the matter. I'm waiting for a call-back from one of the offices, and the other two have not taken a position as yet. Cagey, huh?

What are the chances that the three will pay attention to my calls or emails? Slim to none, I'd say, but I have to make the effort.

What President Obama said today about the public option from CBS News:

President Obama on Tuesday said it is too early for him to say whether he will insist that a government-sponsored health care plan, or "public option," be included in health care reform. He did say, though, that a public option makes sense.

"I think (a public option) is an important tool to discipline insurance companies," Mr. Obama said.

Pressed on whether he would insist on a public plan in health care reform efforts, however, he said, "We have not drawn lines in the sand other than reform has to control costs and has to provide relief to people who don't have health insurance or are under-insured."

The president told reporters that the public plan should be included in the health insurance exchange -- the marketplace of consumer options – that Congress' health reform package is expected to establish.

72% of those polled support the inclusion of a public option in health care legislation.

He also pushed back against the claim, most recently expressed by health insurance industry groups in a letter sent to Congress today, that a public option will drive out private competitors and ultimately leave consumers with fewer choices.

"Why would it drive insurance out of business?" the president asked. "If private insurers say the marketplace provides the best quality health care, why is it the government, which they say can't run anything, suddenly is going to run them out of business? That's not logical."

An excellent point! But, if the public option is not included in the legislation, what will the president do? He doesn't say. Cagey, huh?

72% of the public against the health insurance companies, the drug companies, and the AMA? Whom are the the president and the Congress elected to serve, the citizens or those who give big money to politicians? Well, we know the answer, but do our elected politicians know the answer?

Feast Day Of Alban - First Martyr Of Britain

St Alban from a window in the Lady Chapel by Charles Kempe (Edgar Carter) 1885

Alban lived (at some time during the 3rd century) in the Roman city of Verulamium. Although he was then a worshipper of Roman gods including the emperor, he gave shelter to a Christian priest fleeing from persecution. Influenced by the priest's prayer and teaching he became a Christian.

When the authorities discovered the priest's hiding place Alban exchanged clothes with him. The priest escaped and Alban was bound and taken before the judge. The judge was furious at the deception, and ordered that Alban should receive the punishment due to the priest, if he had indeed become a Christian.

Alban declared his Christian faith, saying in words still used here as a prayer "I worship and adore the true and living God, who created all things." Despite flogging he refused to sacrifice to the Roman gods and was sentenced to death.

He was brought out of the town, across the river and up a hill to the site of execution where his head was cut off.

Readings:

Psalm 34:1-8 or 31:1-5
1 John 3:13-16
Matthew 10:34-42

PRAYER

Almighty God, by whose grace and power your holy martyr Alban triumphed over suffering and was faithful even unto death: Grant to us, who now remember him with thanksgiving, to be so faithful in our witness to you in this world, that we may receive with him the crown of life; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

Biography of Alban and image from the website of St. Alban's Cathedral in England.