Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.



'What's with that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked.

'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.

'Yup,' replied the drunk.

'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!

Don't blame me. Blame Doug. And forgive my language. This one was too funny not to share.

Thanks, You Old Dog

From the comments:

Blogger clumber said...

...This just in:

"Anglicanism: Offering personal ordinariates for disaffected Roman Catholics since 1549." ---the Rev. Jan Nunley.

"It May Choke Them"

From the comments:

Lapinbizarre said...

Libby Purves, a journalist I greatly admire, has written an excellent piece in The Times on Benny's latest stunt.

"But convert clergy may not find life as good as they had hoped, despite being freed from the terror of meeting woman priests and having to bless civil partners rather than excoriate them, Vatican-style, as “intrinsically disordered”. Despite the modified prayer book they will find their style and even pastoral advice gravely restricted; they may flinch at the uncompromising voice of the Vatican after the gentle bleating of Cantuars.

"Anglicanism was founded on uneasy compromise, and this has, over centuries, made it kindly and even humble: a mixed salad of a faith. Catholicism is older, darker, strong raw meat. It may choke them."

Indeed!

I've been wondering about the timing of the announcement of the invitation to the Anglican clerics, and Purves has an idea:

On the eve of another damning report on clerical abuse and cover-up in Ireland, that seems to be Pope Benedict’s tactic. His sudden invitation to Anglican defectors will certainly take the spotlight off a continuing child abuse scandal fed, for decades, by the masculine and intimidating structures of authority in the Catholic hierarchy.

Hmmm.

Umm, Umm, Good!

No, not Campbell's soup, Grandpère's delicious vegetable soup. The ingredients include a soup mix from the market, leftover vegetables from the freezer, chopped onions, garlic, bell pepper, celery, green onions, parsley, along with venison, soup meat, and spaghetti. I know that I'm leaving ingredients and seasonings out, but you get the drift. It was scrumptious. Each soup that GP creates tastes different, because the ingredients differ, but the result is always tasty.

The cooking:



The eating:



I am so very blessed in my cook.

The Burglar Likes The Decor

From Andrew Plus at TrinEast in his post titled "On recent emanations from Rome":

To note what we share is not to say there isn’t a certain sting when we read the headlines. Benedict XVI has managed all at once to intrude into our own church’s internal struggles for a very narrow strategic purpose; insult the very validity of who we are; and, at the same claim to value what we offer. The move seems designed to divide us. Some may take joy in this, but I do not. It feels something like coming home to find that the burglar has left a note on the coffee table complimenting us on our decor.

The burglar bit is good, isn't it?

What I don't understand is how the Archbishop of Canterbury was gullible and naive enough to think that the pope viewed him in any way as an equal. In any negotiations, the give would be all on the ABC's side. In addition, consultation seems not to be a high priority for B16, as he did not even consult with his own English bishops, much less with Rowan, before he sprang his surprise invitation.

"Death Penalty For Homosexual Acts?"

Tim Chesterton, a priest in the Anglican Church of Canada, who blogs at To See and to Follow posted on the response (or rather lack therof) of far too many churches in the Anglican Communion to the proposed laws in Uganda regarding gay and lesbian persons. I don't agree with everything that Tim says, but, to his credit, although he holds the "traditional view of sex, marriage, and homosexuality", he speaks out against the harsh laws which will very likely pass and the absence of the voices of the churches speaking against the laws.

Why are gay people seen as such a threat in Uganda? The bill states that its purpose is to protect the traditional family. How are gay people a threat to the traditional family? My daughter recently married her same-sex partner. I can assure you that my wife and I do not feel our marriage to be in any way under threat because of hers! Furthermore, I would suggest that if we want to find out what is threatening the traditional family we ought to look a little closer to home: having sex before you are married, living common law before marriage, or being the child of divorced parents are all factors that statistically increase your chances of going through a divorce yourself. Heterosexual people need to take a long hard look in the mirror before they blame gay people for the demise of the traditional family. We were doing that to ourselves long before anyone dared raise the question of gay marriage in public!

I suggest that you read the post in its entirety.

Story Of The Day - Dark Garden

I once had a garden filled with flowers
that grew only on dark thoughts but
they need constant attention & one day I
decided I had better things to do.


From StoryPeople.

Church Of Sweden - Marriage Is Gender Neutral

From the comments:

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

...Marriage was made Gender Neutral in Sweden by General Synod today slightly past 10.30 AM. 176 Ayes, 62 Noes, 11 Abstentions. Though you might like to know ;=)

Good news, indeed, Göran. Thanks for letting us know.

Sullivan Joins The Family

 

Murphy's family already has a new dog, a rescue Border Collie mix named Sullivan. Parkville Animal Shelter says of Sullivan:

Can you say "Happy Dog"?! That is exactly what Sullivan is. He is happy go lucky, loves to play fetch and wrestle with other dogs. He is around a year and a half old and is extremely smart. He would love a family where he could learn new skills and commands. He is very eager to please!

Sullivan is up-to-date with routine shots, house trained and spayed/neutered.

Sullivan made himself at home in the family of three adult humans, little Molly, who is four, two other dogs, and a cat. He truly is a happy dog.

The family are still grieving over Murphy, but they wanted another dog. When anyone asks Molly where Murphy is, she points up and says, "With Maman." (Her grandmother and my sister, Gayle) I choked up on that one.

Sullivan looks a little like our dog, Diana. I wish many happy days to Sullivan and his new family.

Episcopal Diocese Of Upper SC - Candidates

The Episcopal Diocese Of Upper South Carolina announced its candidates for the position of eighth bishop of the diocese.

The Very Reverend John B. Burwell
Rector, Church of the Holy Cross
Sullivan's Island, Daniel Island
and I'on, South Carolina

The Reverend Canon Dr. Neal O. Michell
Canon to the Ordinary,
Episcopal Diocese of Dallas
Dallas, Texas

The Reverend David F. O. Thompson
Rector, St. Bartholomew's Church
North Augusta, South Carolina

The Reverend W. Andrew Waldo
Rector, Trinity Episcopal Church
Excelsior, Minnesota

The Reverend Jerre Stockton Williams, Jr.
Rector, St. Peter's Episcopal Church
Kerrville, Texas

Videos of the candidates can be viewed from links at the diocesan website. Click on the names of the candidates to read their biographies. I have not had time to read the bios or watch the videos yet.

Thanks to Lapin for the link.

UPDATE: From the diocesan website:

At this point, we have one petition candidate whose picture and resume are posted here.

The Very Reverend Dr. Philip C. Linder
Dean, Trinity Episcopal Cathedral
Columbia, South Carolina