Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He's not normally a drinker, and couldn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the bedside table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So was the rest of the house.
He took the aspirins, cringing when he looked in the bathroom mirror and saw that he had a black eye.
Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror, written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick. "Honey," it read, "breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!
Jack stumbled to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper.
His son was also at the table, eating.
Jack asked, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? Why do I have a rose and breakfast on the table waiting for me?"
His son replied, "Oh, that. Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!' "
Broken Coffee Table $89.99
Hot Breakfast $5.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . Priceless!
Don't blame me. Blame Doug.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
Anthony Fruge shook his head when asked about the imminent birth of his son Brett.
“Just thinking about it leaves me speechless,” Fruge said.
His son is due the first week of January — the same time Fruge, a 21-year-old National Guard specialist from Addis, is scheduled to head off for training before deploying to Iraq for a year.
He is one of 3,000 soldiers preparing to deploy with the Louisiana Army National Guard’s 256th Infantry Brigade Combat Team. It is the single largest National Guard deployment in the state and the second time the brigade has gone to Iraq.
The 256th, based in Lafayette, first went to Iraq in 2004. Twenty-two of the brigade’s soldiers were killed during that tour of duty, said Staff Sgt. Denis Ricou, a Guard spokesman.
The unit returned in September 2005 during the turmoil of Hurricane Katrina’s immediate aftermath.
....
Fruge’s wife, Sandi, is scheduled to deliver the couple’s baby by Caesarean section Jan. 8 — which is when the unit is scheduled to leave for Camp Shelby.
“I would really like to be there when he’s born,” Anthony Fruge said. “Whether I’m there or not, it’s going to be really hard knowing I have a baby at home.”
What weighs most on the soldier’s mind is whether the baby will know his father in January 2011, when the deployment ends.
“It’s kind of hard thinking that my baby is probably not going to know who I am when I come home,” said Fruge, a combat engineer who helps keep routes clear, including looking for roadside bombs.
The deployment to Iraq comes less than a year after Fruge returned from a stint in Afghanistan with another Guard unit.
Col. Jonathan Ball, commander of the 256th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, said it’s rarely easy for a National Guard soldier — a citizen soldier — to deploy to war.
Indeed, it's not easy for a citizen soldier to deploy to war, and Anthony has not even been home for a year. He's going to Iraq which never planned or launched an attack, terrorist or otherwise, on the US.
No matter how many pictures of Daddy that Sandi shows the boy, when the soldier returns home, his year-old son may take a while to warm up to his dad.
Almighty God, we commend to your gracious care and keeping all the men and women of our armed forces at home and abroad. Defend them day by day with your heavenly grace; strengthen them in their trials and temptations; give them courage to face the perils which beset them; and grant them a sense of your abiding presence wherever they may be; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Story from the Advocate.
Wenchoster Calendar - Preview
If you don't yet have the official calendar of the Diocese of Wenchoster, you should rush to purchase a copy. Saintly Ramblings paid for the publication of a limited edition of only 50 of the calendars, and he'd like to get his money back. The calendar, which is printed on heavy, picture quality paper with a ring binder, is sure to be a collector's item and can only increase in value.
The feast days are somewhat different from the usual Episcopal/Anglican calendar and include saints of whom I have never heard, although I'm sure they're quite worthy of honor.
Below is a preview of the month of January. Click on the picture for the larger view.
ONLY £5 plus postage
Order by e-mail to The Gift Shop.
Payment may be made by sterling cheque
or through PayPal (preferred)
Details will be provided.diocesan gift shop.
I don't get a commission from sales, but who knows? If a good many orders result from my post, it could happen next year.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas With The Family
My grandchildren, except the eldest, on the just-put-together trampoline. TBTG the trampoline held together. I worked hard to get a semblance of an action-packed trampoline photo. In most of the pictures, the kids appeared to be standing around.
Torey, the sweet Cocker Spaniel bitch, who never tires of wanting the ball thrown for her to retrieve.
Gino, the Maltese, who continually gets tangled in my feet. As cute as Gino is, at my age, it would not be a good thing for me to have one of these tiny dogs.
I do not know the name of this pet chicken. I do know that the picture is heavily cropped, because my daughter did not want you to see a larger view of her messy shed.
Grandpère will kill me for this, but I did it anyway, because it's a good picture of him.
All in all, we had a good day. The food was tasty, the company good. The worst that happened was one or two near-fights amongst the kids, cut off before they evolved into full-blown fisticuffs.
Health Care-ols from Move On
Amelia at My Mother Is a Father posted the Health Care-ols video from MoveOn.org. I received an email with a link to the video and wanted to post it, but I didn't have time.
My Anglican Rosary
Isn't it gorgeous? The rosary is the creation of our blogger friend, JimB. Of the rosary, Jim says:
My version is a two loop approach so all the large and small "week" beads form a circle. This rosary is made primarily of Lapis stones with a pewter cross. I generally do not do crucifixes - we are resurrection people.
I hope you will accept it as a gift of love....
I say, with no exaggeration, that this is the most beautiful Anglican rosary that I have ever seen. Jim, I thank you from my heart for the beauty of the rosary, but, most of all, I thank you because I know that the creation of the rosary was a labor of love.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Story Of The Day - Fighting Chance
What do I get for this? I said & the angel
gave me a catalog filled with toasters &
clock radios & a basketball signed by
Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just
stuff & the angel smiled at me &
swallowed me in her arms. I'm so glad
you said that, she whispered to me. I
knew you still had a chance.
From StoryPeople.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Jesus Dear
One glorious night in stable cold
A babe is born in days of old.
O Mother Mary, do you hear
The angels sing of Jesus Dear?
As Jesus Dear your arms embrace,
You see His face so full of grace,
Your overflowing love abounds,
Heark'ning to the angels' sounds.
Your arms around Him keep Him warm.
You vow He'll never come to harm.
Yet in your heart there dwells a fear
Of hurt to come to Jesus Dear.
A shadow of a cross falls o'er
To pierce your loving heart well sore.
O Mother Mary, what distress
To mar the blessed happiness!
He'll grow in wisdom and in grace,
A Babe no more in form and face.
Sweet Mary, do I see a tear?
Weep not. He's yet your Jesus Dear.
From Luke: 1-3
June Butler (12-24-09)
A babe is born in days of old.
O Mother Mary, do you hear
The angels sing of Jesus Dear?
As Jesus Dear your arms embrace,
You see His face so full of grace,
Your overflowing love abounds,
Heark'ning to the angels' sounds.
Your arms around Him keep Him warm.
You vow He'll never come to harm.
Yet in your heart there dwells a fear
Of hurt to come to Jesus Dear.
A shadow of a cross falls o'er
To pierce your loving heart well sore.
O Mother Mary, what distress
To mar the blessed happiness!
He'll grow in wisdom and in grace,
A Babe no more in form and face.
Sweet Mary, do I see a tear?
Weep not. He's yet your Jesus Dear.
From Luke: 1-3
June Butler (12-24-09)
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