PHONES IN CHURCH????

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and many cities and towns all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Louisiana, upon entering a church in the beautiful Delta region of Louisiana, behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents".

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling broadly, replied, "Son, you're in Louisiana now.... You're in God's Country. It's a local call."

American by Birth - Louisianans by the Grace of God.

And why do Louisianans go barefoot? When you're in Louisiana you're on Holy ground!

Thanks to Frank.

'HELP!!! I'm Being Mauled By A Troll!'

'Ahhh, the fresh, relaxing aroma of feet.......'???



'Harlem Globetrotters here I come'



'Uh, cat? What cat?'




Thanks to Doug.

Episcopal Diocese Of Oregon Elects A Bishop

From Oregon Living:

Clergy and delegates from throughout western Oregon elected the Rev. Michael Joseph Hanley, 54, rector of St. Christopher's Episcopal Church in Roseville, Minn., as the 10th bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Oregon Friday during their 121st diocesan convention.

Hanley was elected in a second round of voting, with 104 of the 132 clergy votes and 146 of the 198 lay votes cast. A simple majority is required in both categories. The Rev. Anne Bartlett, rector of Trinity Episcopal Church in Ashland and vice president of the standing committee, made the announcement at about 10:20 a.m., evoking cheers from the electing convention.

Sharon Rodgers, president of the standing committee, had called Hanley, who was at home in Minnesota waiting for the phone to ring.

"This may have been the most significant phone call I've ever made," Rodgers said. She informed Hanley of his election. "Quite honestly, we were both choked up," she said. "What would you like me to tell the people of Oregon?" she asked him.

"Tell them, 'thank you, thank you, thank you,'" Hanley replied. "We are so looking forward to being in Oregon and ministering to you."

From Bishop-elect Michael Joseph Hanley's message to the diocese:

I believe as we start walking together, side by side, our conversations will enable us to share a common vision for mission and ministry. The Reign of God is in our midst, and we are invited by the Holy One, to experience that God blessed life, in this time and place. I feel very blessed, I thank you for the invitation to be with you in ministry and I am ready to put on my walking shoes to discover the Christ in your midst.

Will you walk with me?
Michael

Habemus Episcopum! Deo gratias!

Thanks to Ann for the news.

Soft and Huggable Dolls of Catholic Saints

If Episcopalians buy the Catholic saints dolls, we can hug them, too, right?

From Soft Saints.

Thanks to Sue.

A VISIT WITH HEROD, THE DECEIVER

"The three Magi before Herod", France, early 15th century. Stained glass: colored glass, grisaille; lead. Artist/Maker - Unknown. Restored by F. Pivet, 1999.
National Museum of the Middle Ages – The Baths and Hôtel de Cluny, Paris, France

Matthew 2:7-9

Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, ‘Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.’

Prayer:

Direct us, O Lord, in all our doings, with thy most gracious favor, and further us with thy continual help; that in all our works begun, continued, and ended in thee, we may glorify thy holy Name, and finally by thy mercy, obtain everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

(Book of Common Prayer, p. 832)

Image from Wiki.

UPDATE: On Sunday last, Tobias Haller preached on Herod. His sermon, titled Evil In High Places, is excellent.

We do need to keep our eyes open and to be, as Jesus himself warned us, as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves — — there are crooks and villains aplenty in this world of ours; corruption loves its comfortable seat in the halls of power and some seated there are smooth and clever, able to deceive even the elect.

But only for a time — their doom is sure. Justice may be deferred but it will not be denied, and the villains in high places and on their lofty thrones — or in their posh boardrooms or their corner offices — will find their stolen power slipping away, slipping through their greedy fingers.
....

And so, good people, take courage. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Have confidence that though evil and wickedness may seem for a time to run the show, the curtain will soon come down on their last performance. Christmas is the preview of that promise, and it reminds us that God has come among us to give us power to discern and avoid evil, and ultimately in and with his strength, to defeat it.

Ah, but you really must read the entire sermon. It's good.

"they had no intention...."

Last March, three American evangelical Christians, whose teachings about “curing” homosexuals have been widely discredited in the United States, arrived here in Uganda’s capital to give a series of talks.

The theme of the event, according to Stephen Langa, its Ugandan organizer, was “the gay agenda — that whole hidden and dark agenda” — and the threat homosexuals posed to Bible-based values and the traditional African family.

For three days, according to participants and audio recordings, thousands of Ugandans, including police officers, teachers and national politicians, listened raptly to the Americans, who were presented as experts on homosexuality. The visitors discussed how to make gay people straight, how gay men often sodomized teenage boys and how “the gay movement is an evil institution” whose goal is “to defeat the marriage-based society and replace it with a culture of sexual promiscuity.”

Now the three Americans are finding themselves on the defensive, saying they had no intention of helping stoke the kind of anger that could lead to what came next: a bill to impose a death sentence for homosexual behavior.

Where to start with this one! You teach about the evils of "that whole hidden and dark agenda", and "how gay men often sodomized teenage boys" then you're shocked at the results of spreading such lies and vitriol. Give me a break, you hypocrites!

The three Americans who spoke at the conference — Scott Lively, a missionary who has written several books against homosexuality, including “7 Steps to Recruit-Proof Your Child”; Caleb Lee Brundidge, a self-described former gay man who leads “healing seminars”; and Don Schmierer, a board member of Exodus International, whose mission is “mobilizing the body of Christ to minister grace and truth to a world impacted by homosexuality” — are now trying to distance themselves from the bill.

“I feel duped,” Mr. Schmierer said, arguing that he had been invited to speak on “parenting skills” for families with gay children. He acknowledged telling audiences how homosexuals could be converted into heterosexuals, but he said he had no idea some Ugandans were contemplating the death penalty for homosexuality.

“That’s horrible, absolutely horrible,” he said. “Some of the nicest people I have ever met are gay people.”

Oh my! Mr. Schmierer feels duped. And he uses the old "some of my best friends are gay" defense to justify his abusive teachings on gay people that enable a push for draconian laws against gays in Uganda. Mr. Schmierer, you and your co-conspirators in the hateful teaching programs make me want to vomit.

Here is one result of the promulgation of your type of teaching:

“Now we really have to go undercover,” said Stosh Mugisha, a gay rights activist who said she was pinned down in a guava orchard and raped by a farmhand who wanted to cure her of her attraction to girls. She said that she was impregnated and infected with H.I.V., but that her grandmother’s reaction was simply, “ ‘You are too stubborn.’”

And you, of course, will say that this is "horrible, absolutely horrible". You "had no intention", you "feel duped". Ah, but your teaching programs make you and your cohorts complicit, Mr. Schmierer.

And make no mistake: the leadership in the US was complicit. How shameful that praising and giving money to support Uganda's "family values" and abstinence only programs were done in our name.

During the Bush administration, American officials praised Uganda’s family-values policies and steered millions of dollars into abstinence programs.

From the New York Times.

H/T to Torey Lightcap at The Lead and to Lionel Deimel in the comments for the link to the NYT article.

UPDATE: Andrew Sullivan posts his commentary on the article in the NYT.

Thanks to Wade for the link.

MY NIECE! - I AM SO PROUD

Gretchen Hadden thought it was time to pursue a career in something she was passionate about.

That’s why she started her own interior design business in September after an out-of-state move back to the Northland and leaving a career in the corporate world. She runs her new business, Sensible Style Interior Design, out of her Kansas City North home near Liberty.

“In this economy, people are hanging onto their homes and I think there is a need now more than ever,” Hadden said about the interior design field.

Her business strategy is what makes her business stand out and she hopes will get it thorough an unsteady economy.

She offers a wide range of interior design services from something as simple as lending a hand in picking out a paint color for one room to assisting in the big decisions that come with a complete home remodel.

“A designer wears a lot of hats,” Hadden said.

She said she works to override the misconception that hiring an interior designer is only a luxury. She emphasizes that it can be practical on almost anyone’s budget and she is working to target the average homeowner in the Kansas City area.

When Gretchen sent me the link to the newspaper article, the subject of the email was "Look what Santa brought me for Christmas!!!!" Her dad wrote me that she already has one client as a result of the newspaper piece.

If you or anyone you know in or around Kansas City wants help in home decorating, tell them about Gretchen. I assure you that she is not the type of interior designer who will impose her preferences on her clients. Gretchen wants to help make the homes of her clients look better according to their style preferences.

For more information or to set up a consultation with Hadden, call 529-8689 or visit www.sensiblestyleinteriordesign.com.

From the Sun Tribune.

A NEW YEAR PRAYER FOR THE ELDERLY

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Don't blame me. Blame the inner elder of (Paul (A.).

"UP IN THE AIR"

Grandpère and I went to see "Up in the Air" Friday. Since I don't want to write a spoiler account of the movie, I'll only say that the principal character, Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), appeared a tragic figure to me because of the lack of emotional connections in his life and in his job. How could he spend day after day firing people for bosses who did not have the guts to do the job themselves? How could he live a life of constant travel with almost no emotional connections with other people?

Others saw the movie as a parable against the soulless capitalist systems which flourish at the expense of people. I suppose there was that, too, although the emptiness of his life without strong emotional ties was what struck me most forcefully. And the constant travel. I know folks who live out of suitcases nearly all the time. I couldn't do it.

UPDATE: Fran wrote two posts about the movie. The links are here and here.

INTELLIGENCE FAILURE

From the Washington Post:

President Obama will receive a report Thursday detailing how some government agencies failed to share or highlight potentially relevant information about Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab before he allegedly tried to blow up a Detroit-bound airliner on Christmas Day, while others were insufficiently aggressive in seeking out what was known about him, administration officials said Wednesday.

Intelligence intercepts from Yemen beginning in early August, when Abdulmutallab arrived in that country, contained "bits and pieces about where he was, what his plans were, what he was telling people his plans were," as well as information about planning by the al-Qaeda branch in Yemen, a senior administration official said. "At first blush, not all these things appear to be related" to the 23-year-old Nigerian and the bombing attempt, he said, "but we believe they were."

Grandpère and I have been talking off and on for several days about the intelligence failures in connection with Abdulmutallab's attempt to blow up the plane. But for the quick action of the passengers on the plane, including Jasper Schuringa, who heroically put out the fire with his bare hands, the end of the story would have been tragic and deadly.

At airport security, I have been patted down, wanded, and had my bags searched. If I believed that the procedures at security check-points protected us, I'd be less annoyed each time I fly. The single time that I forgot that I carried mace spray, my purse passed through the x-ray machines without incident. We know that tests of security checkpoints show that on quite a few occasions guns and other dangerous carry-ons have not been detected.

Neither of us has training in gathering intelligence, but both of us think the following information should have triggered enormous red flags.

Among the failures officials initially cited, no agency checked to find out whether Abdulmutallab had a valid visa to enter the United States after his father appeared at the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria last month expressing concerns about his disappearance and associations in Yemen. Although electronic intercepts from Yemen indicated that an unnamed Nigerian was being groomed for an al-Qaeda mission, and other communications spoke of plans for a terrorist attack during Christmas, none of this information was flagged in a way that would have linked it to the father's report.
....

Some intelligence officials noted that although the CIA has received much of the public criticism, the NSA is responsible for intercepts. Others argued that the reports on Abdulmutallab's father submitted by diplomatic and CIA personnel at the embassy were written so mildly as to beg to be ignored. "It didn't have a specific recommendation for watch-listing," said an intelligence official whose organization reviewed the report. "It could have."

The blame game starts amongst the agencies responsible. It appears that the follow-up on the father's information was weak to non-existent. That, along with reports that al-Qaeda was preparing a Nigerian for an attack around Christmas, should have set off alarms. The reports on Abdul's father were written weakly? Seems to me that the defense by the agencies for ignoring the information submitted by the father is weak, very weak. And that all of the known intelligence was never gathered together by any of the agencies responsible is quite worrisome.

Has anything changed since September 11?

UPDATE: WATCH CONDI RICE SQUIRM.

A memory jog for Republicans, who are in full attack mode against the Obama administration.