Thursday, April 22, 2010

THE LONELY BRAIN CELL

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously because it was all dark and empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but got no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and so she yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

And then she heard a faint voice from far, far away . . . .




"We're down here."

Temptation lurks. Paul (A.) and Doug are my two worst sources of temptation.

For the above, don't blame me. Blame Paul (A.).

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY

From the comments:

Josh Indiana said...

Just received an e-mail from Leonardo Ricardo, 7:40pm ET: "the surgery went well."

Thank you for your prayers but don't stop.

josh


Please pray that Leo continues to do well and that his eye will be fixed once and for all. Leo blogs at Eruptions at the Foot of the Volcano, if you want to leave a word there.

HELEN HAS ENOUGH!

From Margaret and Helen:

Margaret, please tell Howard that I love him because he loves you. But that is about all the reaching across the aisle that I can handle. A few years back, millions of people across this nation and across the globe marched for peace. George Bush ignored us and we had to endure his lazy ass being in the White House for eight years.

So now a black man named Barack Obama, elected by the will of the people, has decided to fight for the poor, and work for world peace… and a bunch of white guys who think Fox really is News just can’t stand it.

Well, they can kiss my ass because I am tired of their belly aching.

Go, Helen! Read the rest of Helen's post, "We survived Bush. You’ll survive Obama.."

Thanks to Wade.

THE REAL SIN OF SODOM

From the Rev. Patrick S. Cheng, at The Huffington Post:

To many anti-gay Christians, I'm nothing more than a "sodomite" who is damned for all eternity. It doesn't matter that I've spent the last decade immersed in the Bible, ancient biblical languages, and the Christian theological tradition. It doesn't matter that I've dedicated my life to preaching, teaching, and ministering to all people, including the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. The simple fact that I'm an openly gay man makes all of that irrelevant. To anti-gay Christians, God's destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in chapter 19 of the Book of Genesis is a warning to people like me.

Ironically, I believe that these anti-gay Christians actually have it backwards. The true sin of the Sodomites as described in the Bible has nothing to do with same-sex acts per se. Rather, the ancient Sodomites were punished by God for far greater sins: for attempted gang rape, for mob violence, and for turning their backs on strangers and the needy who were in their midst. In other words, the real sin of Sodom was radical inhospitality. And, ironically, it is often anti-gay Christians who are most guilty of this sin today.

That the sin of the ancient Sodomites was inhospitality was not news to me, but I expect that many who read the piece will not have known. In the desert environment, refusing hospitality to travelers could have meant death for them. Even today, people in the Middle East take hospitality far more seriously than folks in the West. Read the entire article, because it's quite good. I'm pleased to see this information at The Huffington Post.


H/T to Ann at Facebook for the link.

"JUST GOOD FRIENDS"



From the Telegraph:

Should we be sending congratulations to the happy couple? No, of course the Nigerian archbishop and leading voice of the Anglican communion’s anti-gay brigade is no more than just good friends with John Chew, the Primate of South East Asia.


Don't blame me. Blame Susan S.

SPEECH AND SERMON FATIGUE

I'm suffering from speech and sermon fatigue from attempting to read sermons and addresses by the bishops attending the Global South Gathering. I need a rest, however, I offer you these nuggets from the gathering.

The day started with Archbishop Robert Duncan presiding at Holy Communion. In his homily, he reminded us that we, who are “deeply, truly and permanently loved” are truly free. We do not “go our own way” to find freedom, but we come to Jesus, the bread of life.

From the list of attendees in Singapore:

The Episcopal Church – Communion Partners Representatives

the Rt. Rev. JOhn Howe, Central Florida

the Rt. Rev. Mark Lawrence, South Carolina

Church of England

all three stuck in London


The Lead at the Episcopal Café gives good coverage of the meeting.

CHILDREN'S SCIENCE EXAM

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers...

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
(Brilliant logic - love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

NB. The kid got an A+ for this answer!

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section.'
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you are eight.


Thanks to Erika.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

BISHOPS GO 1ST CLASS - PRIESTS DON'T GET PAID


Read MadPriest's post at Of Course, I Could Be Wrong from an article in Anglican Information on the cost of whitewashing tombs:

Albert Chama, who is now in Singapore, is accompanied by Bishops William Mchama of Eastern Zambia and Godfrey Tawonzi of Masvingo, Zimbabwe, also with travelling them is the Rev’d Christopher Mwawa of Malawi. The cost of first class flights and accommodation for the four of them amounts to the value of approximately a whole year’s pay for all the currently unpaid priests in Zimbabwe and Lake Malawi! Pictures of the bishops in all their glory fronting the magnificent St Andrew’s Cathedral in Singapore are available on our blogsites.

"A CHURCH MARY CAN LOVE"

From Nicholas Kristof's column at the New York Times titled "A Church Mary Can Love":

I heard a joke the other day about a pious soul who dies, goes to heaven, and gains an audience with the Virgin Mary. The visitor asks Mary why, for all her blessings, she always appears in paintings as a bit sad, a bit wistful: Is everything O.K.?

Mary reassures her visitor: “Oh, everything’s great. No problems. It’s just ... it’s just that we had always wanted a daughter.”

That story comes to mind as the Vatican wrestles with the consequences of a patriarchal premodern mind-set: scandal, cover-up and the clumsiest self-defense since Watergate. That’s what happens with old boys’ clubs.
....

The Catholic Church still seems stuck today in that patriarchal rut. The same faith that was so pioneering that it had Junia as a female apostle way back in the first century can’t even have a woman as the lowliest parish priest. Female deacons, permitted for centuries, are banned today.

That old boys’ club in the Vatican became as self-absorbed as other old boys’ clubs, like Lehman Brothers, with similar results. And that is the reason the Vatican is floundering today.
....

Yet there’s another Catholic Church as well, one I admire intensely. This is the grass-roots Catholic Church that does far more good in the world than it ever gets credit for. This is the church that supports extraordinary aid organizations like Catholic Relief Services and Caritas, saving lives every day, and that operates superb schools that provide needy children an escalator out of poverty.

This is the church of the nuns and priests in Congo, toiling in obscurity to feed and educate children. This is the church of the Brazilian priest fighting AIDS who told me that if he were pope, he would build a condom factory in the Vatican to save lives.

This is the church of the Maryknoll Sisters in Central America and the Cabrini Sisters in Africa. There’s a stereotype of nuns as stodgy Victorian traditionalists. I learned otherwise while hanging on for my life in a passenger seat as an American nun with a lead foot drove her jeep over ruts and through a creek in Swaziland to visit AIDS orphans. After a number of encounters like that, I’ve come to believe that the very coolest people in the world today may be nuns.

Yes, there is the other Catholic Church, the church which does not get the headines, the church in which my family and friends remain and which they don't even recognize when they read the headlines, the church that serves the least amongst us, not only in mission fields abroad, but mission fields here at home, and carries on with the work of the Gospel in spite of the failures of their leadership.

To my family and friends within the Roman Catholic Church who remain to do the work of the Lord, I offer you my prayers, my encouragement, and my support. If I could ask one thing of you, and I freely admit that I, as an outsider, have no right to ask anything of you, and yet I am bold to do so: Please do not feel compelled to defend the indefensible. Tell me about your church on the ground. Tell me about your ministries. I see in my own town that God's kingdom is brought into reality right here and right now by faithful members of the Body of Christ, who are also faithful members of the Roman Catholic Church. Tell me your stories, for I know the good news is plentiful.

CANTUAR AND AKINOLA AT THE GLOBAL SOUTH GATHERING

From the website of the Anglican Communion: The video and text of Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams' address to the Global South Gathering. Below is a brief excerpt:

But of course we are reflecting on the need for a covenant in the light of confusion, brokenness and tension within our Anglican family – a brokenness and a tension that has been made still more acute by recent decisions in some of our Provinces. In all your minds there will be questions around the election and consecration of Mary Glasspool in Los Angeles. All of us share the concern that in this decision and action the Episcopal Church has deepened the divide between itself and the rest of the Anglican family. And as I speak to you now, I am in discussion with a number of people around the world about what consequences might follow from that decision, and how we express the sense that most Anglicans will want to express, that this decision cannot speak for our common mind.

But I hope also in your thinking about this and in your reacting to it, you’ll bear in mind that there are no quick solutions for the wounds of the Body of Christ.
It is the work of the Spirit that heals the Body of Christ, not the plans or the statements of any group, or any person, or any instrument of communion. Naturally we seek to minimize the damage, to heal the hurts, to strengthen our mission, to make sure that it goes forward with integrity and conviction. Naturally, there are decisions that have to be taken. But at the same time we must all - as indeed your own covering notes suggest for your conference - we must all share in a sense of repentance and willingness to be renewed by the Spirit.

So while the tensions and the crises of our Anglican Communion will of course be in your minds as they are in mine, I know from what you have written, what you have communicated about your plans and hopes for this conference, that you will allow the Holy Spirit to lift your eyes to that broader horizon of God’s purpose for us as Anglicans, for us as Christians, and indeed for us as human beings. (My emphasis)

The former mantra to which we became accustomed as the reason given for division in the Anglican Communion was the election and ordination of Gene Robinson, "the practicing homosexual", as a bishop in the Episcopal Church. The mantra du jour is the election and coming consecration of Mary Glasspool, "the practicing homosexual", as a bishop. The archbishop does not speak the words, but they lie there, unspoken. Tedious, yes?

All the minds of those attending the Global South Gathering may have "questions around the election and consecration of Mary Glasspool", but the minds of many of the rest of us are, indeed, not questioning Mary Glasspool's election and consecration simply on the basis that she shares her life with her beloved partner of 20 years. We rejoice, even as we pray for them as we remain aware of the spotlight and scrutiny which will be focused on Mary and Becki.

Archbishop Williams, I remind you that your words "cannot speak for our common mind", either. I'd also ask if the election and coming ordination of Mary Glasspool is the wound in the Body of Christ to which you refer?

*********

From Archbishop Peter Akinola's sermon at the opening service of the Global South Gathering:

More importantly, has the real problem that tore the fabric of the Communion been addressed? Can the Covenant address the problem? As we are gathered here today, there are those who are in what they call 'impaired communion' and others in what is called 'broken sacramental communion' with The Episcopal Church in North America and the Anglican Church of Canada. All calls for accountability and repentance have not been heeded. Decisions taken by the Primates to resolve the problem at their meetings in Brazil, Dromantine and Dar es Salam have been jettisoned. Consequently, the Communion has not been able to mend the ‘broken net’.

This, sadly, is the eighth year since we have not all been in communion with one another, globally, in the same Anglican Church. It appears that some of our leaders value the ageing structures of the communion much more than anything else, hence, the illusion that with more meetings, organisations and networks the crises will disappear. How wrong.

We all know that signing the covenant will not stop TEC from pursuing its own agenda. In fact only recently, it elected and confirmed another openly practicing lesbian priest to the episcopate. The Communion is still unable to exercise discipline. We are God's Covenant to the world, yes, but we are divided. We lack discipline. We lack the courage to call ‘a spade a spade’. Our obedience to God is selective.
(My emphasis)

In his final paragraph, Abp. Akinola says that he calls "a spade a spade", but he can't quite bring himself to name Mary Glasspool, except to label her as an "openly practicing lesbian priest". She who is not to be named?

Abp. Akinola speaks stronger words than Abp. Williams in calling for "discipline" rather than "consequences", but perhaps, in the end, the two mean the same thing.

Abp. Akinola:
All calls for accountability and repentance have not been heeded.

Right, Archbisop Akinola, however, I expect we speak of different actions and words for which repentance and accountability would be appropriate.


Abp. Akinola:
Our obedience to God is selective.

Right again, Archbisop Akinola, however, I expect we disagree on which actions and words are disobedient to God.


UPDATE: Pluralist has the transcript of the Archbishop of Anglicanism's real video.