NEW DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

and MY Favourite!!
=========================
WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

OH MY GOODNESS!

From Grand Gallicho at Commonweal:

Everybody relax. As widely expected, Rome is about to issue new rules for handling priests who sexually abuse minors, including those who view child pornography and abuse adults with mentally disabilities, classifying such acts as grave canonical crimes.

Good news! Read the details at the link.

But wait!

Oh, and the new document will include those who try to ordain women and women who try to get ordained.

You can't make this stuff up.

Says Gallicho:

It will be interesting to see how the new norms and their accompanying documentation handle the issue of women’s ordination. Footnote? Bullet point? Boldfaced and highlighted? Whatever the case, why now? To fuel the suspicion that in the 1980s and ’90s the CDF was more interested in disciplining “liberal” doctrinal abusers than it was abuser priests?

The Vatican takes one step forward and I can't even count how many steps backward.

H/T to Andrew Sullivan at the The Daily Dish.

GOOD NEWS - NOT SO GOOD NEWS

From Kansas City.com:

Hours after giving their blessing to ordaining noncelibate gays and lesbians, leaders of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) declined late Thursday to change the church's definition of marriage, in effect refusing to allow same-sex marriages within their denomination.

If the proposal had been approved, the church's definition of marriage would have changed from a commitment between "a woman and a man" to "two people" and allowed church weddings in states that have legalized gay marriage.

That the Presbyterians decided to discuss same-sex marriage for two more years is disappointing, but the "yes" vote for gay marriage will come soon. The train has left the station.

The gay ordination proposal, which did pass, still must be approved by the majority of the church's 173 local "presbyteries," or district governing bodies, within the next year before it can take effect.

Let us pray that a majority of the presbyteries vote to approve the proposal.

H/T to Andrew Gerns at The Lead.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

From WWL-TV:

Gov. Bobby Jindal has signed into Louisiana law an objection to President Barack Obama's signature health care revamp.
The bill by Republican Kirk Talbot — signed by Jindal on Tuesday — declares that no one in Louisiana can be required to have health insurance or be required to pay a penalty if they refuse to carry insurance.

The measure is symbolic, including language that nothing in it should be construed to supersede federal law.

What a waste of the legislature's and the governor's time - passing and signing into law a symbol with no meaning to back it up. A sop to the Teapartiers, I'm sure.

Thanks to Paul (A.), but I'd already read the story but was too lazy to post. I give Paul credit for prodding.

Note: I'm overtaken by lassitude. No telling what you might find here today, including nothing further. ;-)

GOOD NEWS FROM GEORGIA

The state’s Court of Appeals issued a ruling Thursday in favor of the Episcopal Diocese of Georgia and the national church in its two-and-a-half year property dispute with a breakaway congregation.

A three-judge panel upheld Chatham County Superior Court Judge Michael Karpf's 2009 decision naming the Episcopal Church the rightful owners of Christ Church in Savannah.

You may leave the Episcopal Church, but you may not take the property with you.

H/T to Jim Naughton at The Lead.

A TIME OF RECKONING FOR ROWAN?

From Stephen Bates at the Guardian:

Rowan Williams, the archbishop of Canterbury, is embroiled in a new crisis within the Church of England over the decision to block the appointment of a gay cleric as bishop of Southwark.

Liberals and mainstream Anglicans are furious that the archbishop has once more failed to exert any leadership over mutinous forces threatening to split the church over the sensitive issue of homosexuality.
....

One senior cleric said: "The time of reckoning has come for Rowan. The events of seven years ago have bitten him hard in the very week women bishops comes to the crunch. He should realise there are greater considerations, like truth, justice, openness, fidelity to the rules and all those things the church proclaims. Many are dismayed by his constant capitulation to the fringe noisemakers.
....

Another senior cleric said: "The system of appointments is busted. What is needed is more transparency over how appointments are made. Obsessive secrecy is damaging the church."

Giles Goddard, chair of the liberal Inclusive Church movement, who is himself a gay vicar in south London, said: "This is a disaster for the church – another example of shooting itself in the foot. It would be much better to have a more open system."

There's more.

I'm sorry for the turmoil in the Church of England, but, as I've said before, I would not give these stories and commentary nearly so much attention were Rowan not attempting to set up a top-heavy structure resembling the Roman Catholic Church for the Anglican Communion, of which the Episcopal Church is a part. And one can hardly say that he's doing such a great job of leadership in the Church of England that we would want him for an Anglican pope, if we at all wanted an Anglican pope.

And Pluralist strikes again.

Rowanov Treetri: I am afraid there was a problem with a pipe.

John John: What, a smoking pipe, or you called a plumber?

As usual read the rest over there.

STORY OF THE DAY - LIVING MEMORY

I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together

A lovely message for me today.

From StoryPeople.

COMPARE AND CONTRAST

Upon reading the excerpt below from the article in the Telegraph, I'm led to wonder if a bit more transparency and a bit less secrecy in the Church of England's method of choosing bishops might improve the process and prevent the kind of present debacle engulfing the church which harms innocent people and stirs up even angrier controversy within the church than has already been experienced.

Our system in the Episcopal Church is not perfect and, most certainly, includes politics and jockeying for position, and, no doubt, includes unofficial secret meetings, but, compared to the process in the Church of England, ours appears a model of transparency. As the persons involved in the Church of England strive for secrecy in their procedures, their method begs for leaks. Just my two cents, and it would be none of my business if the leader of the Church of England did not appear to be attempting to grab for himself the title of Anglican pope.

However, a secret meeting of senior Church figures has decided to overlook Dr John amid fears that his consecration would have provoked a split in the Church.
....

…It is understood that discussions at the two-day meeting, held at a secret location in Stepney, were heated with members of the Commission arguing over whether they should select Dr John.

Dr Williams is said to have been furious at the pressure placed on him and the other members by a leak to The Sunday Telegraph, which revealed the dean was on the shortlist. He asked the rest of the Commission to swear an oath of secrecy about the talks.

For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.
Luke 8:17

UPDATE:

Check out Church Mouse's post and the comments at his blog.

UPDATE 2: And there's Anglican Minimalist's essay contest.

Essay Contest: Anglican Covenant Values

Essay Question: Compare and contrast the two scenarios for how well they represent the Anglican Covenant values of interdependence and subsidiarity and the larger community issues of transparency, directness and candor.

Read the descriptions of the scenarios at AM's blog.

H/T to Peter Carey at The Lead.

JEFFREY JOHN BLOCKED AS BISHOP OF SOUTHWARK

From Colin Coward at Changing Attitude:

Jonathan Wynne-Jones has ‘revealed’ in the Telegraph that Jeffrey John is not to be nominated as the next Bishop of Southwark. Neither, so I am told, will Nick Holtham, Vicar of St Martin-in-the-Fields, be nominated.

This is painfully disappointing news for Jeffrey, who has lived through a week in which his identity and reputation have been pored over, analysed and attacked once again by conservative forces in the church in a way which I can only describe as poisonous. Those who claim the moral and ethical high ground in the church behave in ways which are scandalous and unchristian.
....

Archbishop Rowan was apparently so furious about the first leak that he unilaterally vetoed Jeffrey’s name, betraying his friend for a second time and handing an apparent victory to the conservatives who seem to be successfully controlling him. Archbishop Rowan would have directed his anger in a more healthy direction if he had targetted the people inside and outside the Commission who have deliberately sabotaged its work.

Jonathan lists a number of reasons why this is bad news. I think he omits far more important reasons why it is bad news. It is a capitulation to forces within the Church of England and the Anglican Communion which represent a reactionary attitude to scripture and a negative attitude towards the glory, goodness and infinite variety and beauty of God’s creation.

It communicates an image of the church and Christianity to our nation in which we are perceived to be bigoted, prejudiced, narrow-minded and lacking in the primary Christian virtue of love.

My goodness! What a mess. Can the words about the Archbishop of Canterbury's unilateral veto be true? What a way to redress a breach of confidentiality!

H/T to Thinking Anglicans.

GUNS ALLOWED IN CHURCH IN LOUISIANA - I AM SO PROUD

From NOLA:

Gov. Bobby Jindal has signed into law one of the more controversial bills from the recent legislative session, one allowing guns to be carried into houses of worship.

Jindal's office said Tuesday the governor acted on the bill in the past few days after receiving it June 20.

Including the "gun-in-church" bill, House Bill 1272 by Rep. Henry Burns, R-Haughton, Jindal has signed into law 940 of the 1,067 bills the Legislature sent him, vetoed 12, and used his pen to line-item spending measures in four different budget bills.
Burns' bill would authorize persons who qualified to carry concealed weapons having passed the training and background checks to bring them to churches, mosques, synagogues or other houses of worship as part of a security force.

Ain't it grand? What a legislature! What a governor! Who knew the lot of them would align so neatly with the result that members of congregations may now be fully armed in church.

Look at the guvna up there wearing his red and white striped tie with the stars in the background - a living symbol of patriotism and what the US is all about, the 2nd Amendment, the right of every citizen to bear arms.