PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS - PART 2

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I've lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

The end.

Again, don't blame me, blame Doug. And yes, I've seen some of these before, too.

JESUS AND MO - BLUNT

Click on the strip for the larger view.

From Jesus and Mo.

REBUKE, BUT NO PENALTY...YET

From The Huffington Post:

A book written by two Creighton University faculty members is erroneous and “harmful to one's moral and spiritual life,” the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops says.

“The Sexual Person: Toward a Renewed Catholic Anthropology” presents views that differ from the Catholic Church's traditional teachings prohibiting premarital sex, homosexual acts, contraception and artificial insemination, the bishops say.
The book was published in 2008 by Todd Salzman, chairman of Creighton's theology department, and Michael G. Lawler, a professor emeritus in theology.

The volume says, for instance, that while many theologians feel the Bible speaks clearly on the issue of homosexuality, the Bible is in fact “far from clear and unambiguous” on the topic.

Deacon Tim McNeil, chancellor of the Omaha Archdiocese, said the conference's rebuke this month comes with no penalty against the professors. But Archbishop George Lucas of Omaha “is confident that Creighton officials will deal with this in a manner that is consistent with the mission of a Catholic university,” McNeil said. (My emphasis)

Hmm. The rebuke comes with no penalty, however, the Archbishop's words to the officials of the university could be read as tinged with threat, so perhaps the most we can say is that no penalty has been imposed, yet.

Creighton, operated by the Jesuits, sent out a statement Wednesday that said it is “fully committed to the Catholic tradition” and that the institution “accepts as authoritative the statement” of the conference.

But Creighton “is nonetheless mindful of its obligation to honor the academic freedom of individual faculty members,” the statement said. It added that Pope Benedict XVI has reaffirmed “the great value of academic freedom.”

Take that! Whether Pope Benedict still places "great value on academic freedom" remains to be seen.

The book could well give hope to Catholic gays and lesbians in faithful partnerships that they could remain within the church, in good conscience, without living under the constraints of celibacy. That's not to speak of the positive influence of the book in helping to ease the consciences of heterosexual couples in matters of sex and conception. And why is the church in the bedrooms anyway?

One likely result of the public rebuke will be to bump up sales of the book.

The warning by the bishops brings back not-so-fond memories of the Index Librorum Prohibitorum or Index of Forbidden Books.

Thanks to Ann V.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN

I'm much better at the brotherhood of
man thing, he said, when I can afford to
live in a good neighborhood.

From StoryPeople

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4 A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I'll go on a head.”

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Don't blame me. Blame Doug. I have 13 more for another post. Thrilling, yes?

AMiA CHURCH IN BATON ROUGE FINDS A HOME

From the Baton Rouge Advocate:

The congregation of All Saints Anglican Church has come a long way in a few short years.

A small gathering of believers who met initially in a public building without a priest has grown to several dozen meeting in a leased building with a full-time pastor.

About a dozen local Episcopalians, disaffected and dismayed by what they see as the liberal direction of the Episcopal Church USA under the leadership of Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, found each other in April 2007, and began worshiping at the Burden Conference Center at the Rural Life Museum.

Meeting under the auspices of the Anglican Mission in the Americas, a missionary outreach of the fundamental Episcopal Church of Rwanda, the small group slowly gained members.
....

“We’ve been faithful and walking in obedience to God and he is blessing us,” Turner said after a recent “Rally Sunday” service attended by around 40 congregants. “He has provided everything we have.”
....

Denham Springs residents and lifelong Episcopalians Gerry and Anna Coryell have been attending All Saints for several months. They left their former church, which they said they “dearly love,” when the Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana consecrated the Very Rev. Morris K. Thompson as its new bishop in May.

“My issues with the Episcopal Church go beyond gay priests,” Gerry Coryell said. (Bishop Thompson is not gay but does approve ordaining gay clergy.) Coryell said he served on the committee that interviewed Thompson and the other bishop candidates. When Thompson told the committee he agreed with the liberal direction Schori was taking the church, “that was the final straw. I didn’t see a future there.”
....

All Saints Anglican Church is the only AMiA church in Louisiana and is affiliated with the Little Rock Network of AMiA, a group of 12 parishes from California to Tennessee, four smaller fellowships and two mission works.

The members of All Saints Anglican Church left the Episcopal Church honorably. I'm sorry that they chose to leave, but I wish them well.

What I find somewhat odd is the prominent coverage that the Advocate gives to the church. The article covers approximately two-thirds of the front page of today's religion section and one third of the second page.

FROM ADRIAN AT "PLURALIST SPEAKS"

Now click on over to Adrian's blog, and read what he says about Dr Rowan Williams' "pass".

"GOOD ROCKIN" FROM J&M

From NOLA.com:

To trumpeter Porgy Jones, the corner of North Rampart and Dumaine streets is hallowed.

"I feel like I'm going to kiss the ground," said Jones, 71, on Friday, just before the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum designated Cosimo Matassa's J&M Recording Studio as a historic Rock and Roll Landmark, one of 11 nationwide.

It was here, in a small backroom at 840 N. Rampart St., that Matassa engineered and produced some of rock 'n' roll's earliest hits in a studio given the initials of his father, John Matassa.

A few J&M recordings -- including Fats Domino's single "The Fat Man", Roy Brown's "Good Rockin' Tonight" and Little Richard's "Tutti Frutti" -- have sometimes been called the first rock 'n' roll record. Incorrect, said Hall of Fame president Terry Stewart: Scholars agree there is no definitive first record classified as rock, said Stewart as he stood Friday in front of the former studio, now a laundromat, at the edge of the French Quarter.

What's indisputable, Stewart said, is that when the genre was in its infancy, "the baby got rocked right here in this building."

Matassa, now 84, opened the Rampart Street studio in 1945 after he dropped out of the chemistry program at Tulane University. Inside the legendary studio -- which measured 15 by 16 feet with a control room that he said was "as big as my four fingers" -- Matassa recorded a storied list of acts. They included Domino and his longtime collaborator, trumpeter and producer Dave Bartholomew, as well as saxophonist and producer Harold Battiste, Ray Charles, Allen Toussaint, Irma Thomas, Roy Brown, Sam Cooke, Jerry Lee Lewis, Professor Longhair, Earl Palmer, Dr. John, James Booker, Guitar Slim, Smiley Lewis, Lloyd Price and many others.

Awright! This IS good news. Perhaps the building is secure from the wrecking ball, which has already destroyed many a historic building in New Orleans.



In the early 1950s, I discovered rock 'n' roll playing on the jukeboxes in the lounges in New Orleans, which, at that time, had virtually no lower age limits. I would have been perhaps 16. Many of the songs included double-entendre lyrics, so this was not music that could be played or listened to at home, but it was great for jitterbugging in a place where parents were not around.

Below is a list from the Times-Picayune of recordings made at J&M:

"Good Rockin' Tonight" - Roy Brown - 1947

"Long About Midnight" - Roy Brown - 1948

"Mardi Gras in New Orleans" - Professor Longhair 1948

"The Fat Man" - Fats Domino - 1949

"Goin' Home" - Fats Domino - 1951

"Lawdy Miss Clawdy" - Fats Domino - 1952

"Tipitina" - Professor Longhair - 1953

"Feelin' Sad" - Ray Charles - 1953

"Going to the River" - Fats Domino - 1953

"The things That I Used to Do" - Guitar Slim - 1953

"Jock-a-Mo" - Sugar Boy Crawford - 1953

"Blue Monday" - Smiley Lewis - 1953

"I Hear You Knocking" - Smiley Lewis - 1955

"Poor Me" - Fats Domino - 1955

"Tutti Frutti" - Little Richard - 1955

"(See You) Later Alligator" - Bobby Charles - 1955

"My Blue Heaven - Fats Domino - 1955

"Long Tall Sally" - Little Richard - 1956

Bear with me on my nostalgic trip down memory lane. I loved putting together this post.

UPDATE: Here's a photo which shows the entire building.

WHAT, ME WORRY?

From the Guardian:

The Archbishop of Canterbury has said he has "no problem" with gay people being bishops but they must remain celibate.

In his first explicit declaration on the subject since taking office in 2002, Dr Rowan Williams signalled his personal support for the consecration of gay bishops in the Church of England but said he would never endorse gay clergy in relationships because of tradition and historical "standards"

Then what happened with his good friend Jeffrey John when he was chosen for the position of Bishop of Reading? Although John was in a partnered relationship, he stated that he was celibate. I'm confused. Why did Dr Williams ask Jeffrey John to stand down?

He used today's interview to deny that his present stance on gay sex therefore meant he was not being true to himself.

"I think if I were to say my job was not to be true to myself that might suggest that my job required me to be dishonest and if that were the case then I'd be really worried. I'm not elected on a manifesto to further this agenda or that. I have to be someone who holds the reins for the whole debate. To put it very simply, there's no problem about a gay person who's a bishop. It's about the fact that there are traditionally, historically, standards that the clergy are expected to observe. So there's always a question about the personal life of the clergy." (My emphasis)

The words from Dr Williams' quote which I have bolded make no sense to me. If someone can enlighten me as to their meaning, I'd like that. What is he saying?

Standards! We have standards! But if bishops and clergy hide their gay relationships in the closet, then apparently there's no problem for Dr. williams.

H/T to Leonardo at Eruptions At the Foot of the Volcano.

ANOTHER ACCUSATION AGAINST BISHOP LONG

See Box Turtle Bulletin.

Bishop Long may resign.