THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS - THANKSGIVING

On this Twelfth Day of Christmas, I am thankful for finding my little lost wreath. The pin belonged to my sister, Gayle. After she died my nieces and nephew offered me a choice of a memento from her jewelry box or her clothes, and I chose the Christmas wreath. On Christmas Eve, I wore the pin to church and did not realize it was missing until I looked for it several days later. I knew the pin fell off either in church, in a crevice in the car, or in the street, in which case it was lost forever. Today, when I looked in the lost and found box in the parish hall, there it lay, all sparkly.

THE MAGI ON THEIR JOURNEY

A lovely reflection on the Feast of Epiphany from Katie, head pastor at Queen Anne Methodist Church, inspired by T S Eliot's poem, "Journey of the Magi".

The story of the Magi, which culminates in the Adoration of the Magi on January 6 – Epiphany – is a story about uncertainty, journey, death, and birth. Many of us look back to the story of the Magi believing it to be part of our spiritual history, but, a more mature faith looks to the story as something much more meaningful. It is about us searching for God. We struggle. We search. We come to what feels like unsatisfactory endings to our travels only to be led down yet more paths to unknown destinations. We go through periods of deep uncertainty. Like the Magi, we little understand the culture or the ways of Jesus and his family. Like the Magi, we are distanced from them by space. Unlike the Magi, we are also distanced by two millennia; time is its own ocean we must cross to meet the Christ-child. Like the Magi, we must die to our gods in order to enter into the presence of the God of the Most High.

First lines of the poem:

"A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter."
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.

The entire poem is here.

No wonder the camel in my Nativity set is sitting down. He's sore-footed.

PONDERISMS

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2. There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

3. Life is sexually transmitted.

4. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7. Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out"?  Hmm...  I have the same question about eggs.

12. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

13. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

14. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

15. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

I may have published a number of the ponderisms before, but a few were new to me and made me laugh out loud.

"LAST CHANCE HARVEY"

Since I'd completely forgotten that I bought the DVD, I must have purchased the film "Last Chance Harvey" some years ago. Last night I finally watched, and I enjoyed the performances of two fine actors, Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson, in a lovely, romantic story. While the audiences' reactions were decidedly mixed, the critics gave the film higher marks. One critic said the movie was "sweet and tender", and another said, "They don't often make romances like this, so tell your mum - or granny!" Well, I thought it was sweet and tender, and I'm a mum and a granny, so I suppose that's why I more than liked the movie - I loved it. It will not be among the most memorable films I've seen, but it was a fine way to spend a cold and rainy New Year's Eve.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

How many of you know the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne"?



Or if you prefer the pipes...



The Scots - they are a proud people. I've seen their lovely Highlands.

"THE NINE TAILORS" BY DOROTHY SAYERS

Facebook's question du jour is, "What's on your mind?"  My answer is that I finished reading Dorothy Sayers' The Nine Tailors for the second or third time and enjoyed the mystery better than ever. I understood the process of change-ringing a bit more than in the previous reading (or readings). Sayers writes beautifully.

By contrast with the brilliance below, the bell-chamber is somber and almost menacing. The main lights of its eight great windows were darkened throughout their height; only through the slender panelled tracery above the slanting louvres the sunlight dripped, rare and chill, striping the heavy beams of the bell-cage with bars and splashes of pallid gold, making a curious fantastic patterning on the spokes and rims of the wheels. The bells with mute black mouths gaping downwards, brooded in their ancient places.

Tell me that's not fine writing. Better yet, think what you like, but if you disagree, don't tell me.

When I reread mysteries I rarely remember whodunnit, so the suspense remains the second or third time around, especially when years have passed between readings.

To see how change-ringing is done and how it sounds watch the videos below.

 

DID I READ THAT RIGHT?

Did I read that sign correctly?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Thanks, Frank.

ALL ABOUT ME

My Facebook friend Chris Fewings dashes off poetry the way the rest of us breathe, and he wrote the bit of verse about me when I used the Louisiana French term "lagniappe", which means a little extra, something like a baker's dozen. I think the poem is so lovely and funny that I wanted to share. Besides, it's all about me! What's not to like?

She's the sunshine in the twilight
The little extra in Louisiana
The slug of something stronger
Slipped into my champagne.
She's the sparkle in the bubbly
Her hubby's evening star.
She's the toast of all on Facebook.
She's the rainbow in the rain.

Chris Fewings 23-12-13

Chris writes very fine serious poetry, which may be found at the link above.  I especially like "Open Your Hand".

On his "About" page, Chris says, "Influences on my poetry include R S Thomas and George Herbert, among many others. (I hope that sounds impressive.) My tastes have become more catholic with age, so I now delight in light verse almost as much as in “difficult” poetry."  Perhaps he delighted a bit in the light verse about me.  I know I did.

FEAST OF ST JOHN THE EVANGELIST

Today is the feast of St John the Evangelist, the patron of my church. The Fathers of the Church believed John the Evangelist was the author of the Gospel, three Epistles, and the Book of Revelation, and the same person as John the Apostle and John of Patmos.  Later scholars suggest rather that a disciple of John the Apostle wrote the Gospel and three Epistles and that John of Patmos was a different person, because the writing style of the Book of Revelation is too different from the Gospel and Epistles.

Pictured above is the stained glass window at St. John's Episcopal Church in Thibodaux. The detail in the glass shows a snake coming out of the goblet in John's hand. According to legend, the emperor Domitian offered poisoned wine to John, but he blessed the wine and the poison came out of the goblet in the form of a snake.  A painting by El Greco illustrates the same legend.

Collect of the day

Shed upon your Church, O Lord, the brightness of your light; that we, being illumined by the teaching of your apostle and evangelist John, may so walk in the light of your truth, that at length we may attain to the fullness of eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

(Book of Common Prayer)

I BLAME THE AFRICAN VIOLETS

Well, my peeps, we started off the Second Day of Christmas (aka Boxing Day) with a wee flood. I was in process of soaking my seven African violet plants in the sink in the utility room, the very same plants I pled for a kindhearted plant-lover to adopt the other day on Facebook, with no takers. I closed the drain, turned on the tap, put two plants in to soak, went to get another, got distracted, and left the water running with the drain closed. When Grandpère came in from outside, the utility room and the nearby bathroom were flooded with water mixed with dirt from the flower pots. No permanent damage was done, but the clean-up was not fun.

The cabinets below the sink and counter and their contents were wet and dirty. Grandpère had to move the washer and dryer out, because water and dirt had seeped under the appliances. Some wise person said it's an ill wind that blows no good, and, in our case, the saying proved true, because, as Grandpère was mopping behind the washer, he saw that the pipe that drains the water was corroded and had a small leak, which, had he not discovered it, would very soon have become a large leak with the possibility of another flood in the utility room. We also threw away a load of wet junk that had accumulated in the cabinets, another good result.

The leaves, flowers, and stems of the two plants that were in the sink were covered with dirt, so I pitched them, and then there were five. Maybe five plants will be more manageable.