A blonde guy was about two hours from San Diego on the freeweay when he was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde guy, "do you need a lift?"
"No - I have to fix my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $250 for your trouble."
"No problem!" said the blonde guy. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the guy's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde guy walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the guy.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $250 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde guy," but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
Don't blame me. Blame Doug.
UPDATE: Doug, the artist, (not Doug, the above) sent me the video below. He says, "Something for your Blonde Guy post. Both girls and boys can sing this song, provided they were born with golden hair (or spent a few hours and a lot of money with Michael)." Michael is Doug's partner.
An 18 hours silence, yet.
ReplyDeleteSilly, amusing, joke.
That last sentence reads condescending, which was not my intention. Never let it be said that I have sounded condescending (!)
ReplyDeleteThe current heatwave reminds me, did I ever send you my father's hoary Old Lady/"I need some talcum powder young man" slightly vulgar Music Hall joke?
Copy and paste and slight editing takes little time.
ReplyDeleteI didn't take your comment as condescending.
No, I don't think you ever sent me your father's joke. Better email the joke first. Slightly vulgar to you may be too naughty for my blog comments.
Nice to see a blonde joke about the mens for a change.
ReplyDeletePS I want to hear Lapin's joke.
ReplyDeleteCathy, I take credit for flipping the joke to a guy, because I'm weary of blonde female jokes. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe've known this joke for a very long time, only it involves penguins, a broken-down refrigerated transport van and ice cream! :)
ReplyDelete~Lori
Here it is, then:
ReplyDeleteA stout, middle aged lady staggers into a pharmacy on a hot day.
"I need some talcum powder, young man."
"Walk this way, madam."
"If I could walk that way, young man ............................."
Yes, I've asked Lapin to leave the stage.
Lori, welcome. My stock response is, "There is nothing new under the sun." :-)
ReplyDeleteMuch jollity here. The talcum joke (at least the punch line) was used by Groucho iirc...
ReplyDeleteAnd didn't Groucho himself have a funny walk? Maybe he needed a little talcum.
ReplyDeleteThe more I look at that joke (I first heard it told by an English comedian called Arthur Askey) the more I doubt that many women ever laughed at it. An old-style "man" joke, for sure.
ReplyDeleteAs Julie Brown once sang, "I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche, 'cause I'm a blonde!"
ReplyDeleteLapin, the music hall joke is a bit sexist, as were many.
ReplyDeleteCounterlight, I added the video. It's a nice finishing touch. :-)
Julie Brown sang the song in Earth Girls are Easy, where she gave a great performance. I also have a soft spot for her "I Like 'em Big and Stupid ("I Like 'em Big and Real Dumb").
ReplyDeleteMrs. Fred found the joke not to be funny. Of course, she is blonde.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the videos, Lapin. I enjoyed them.
ReplyDeleteFred, why? It's a blonde guy.
Well, Mimi, she feels it is a short hop to other more vitriolic names.
ReplyDeleteOh.
ReplyDelete