From E. J. Dionne in the Washington Post:
Word spread like wildfire in Catholic circles: Douglas Kmiec, a staunch Republican, firm foe of abortion and veteran of the Reagan Justice Department, had been denied Communion.
His sin? Kmiec, a Catholic who can cite papal pronouncements with the facility of a theological scholar, shocked old friends and adversaries alike earlier this year by endorsing Barack Obama for president. For at least one priest, Kmiec's support for a pro-choice politician made him a willing participant in a grave moral evil.
Kmiec was denied Communion in April at a Mass for a group of Catholic business people he later addressed at dinner. The episode has not received wide attention outside the Catholic world, but it is the opening shot in an argument that could have a large impact on this year's presidential campaign: Is it legitimate for bishops and priests to deny Communion to those supporting candidates who favor abortion rights?
No, it is not! Not even the US Conference of Catholic Bishops goes that far.
The priest's actions are almost certainly out of line with the policy of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. In their statement"Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship," issued last November, the bishops said: "A Catholic cannot vote for a candidate who takes a position in favor of an intrinsic evil, such as abortion or racism, if the voter's intent is to support that position."
The "if" phrase in that carefully negotiated sentence suggests that Catholics can support pro-choice candidates, provided the purpose of their vote is not to promote abortion.
It's a typical Roman Catholic mind twist which was called a mental reservation back in my days in in the RCC, but it provides the same sort of "out" that permits RC women to have surgery to abort an ectopic pregnancy so they won't risk death from a ruptured tube.
It is outrageous that priests and bishops take it upon themselves to withhold the body and blood of Our Lord, as though Jesus needed to be protected. Since I left the RCC, I promised myself that I would not become a bitter ex-Roman Catholic, but stories like this test me severely.
And yes, I know that in my own church, the Episcopal Church, we have misguided bishops and priests who do the same sort of thing. However, we are a small church without the numbers and influence of the Roman Catholic Church on politics in the US. No matter who does it, it infuriates me.
However, despite the priest's pinched small-mindedness, it appears that good comes from the affair:
Kmiec says he is grateful because the episode reminded him of the importance of the Eucharist in his spiritual life, and because he hopes it will alert others to the dangers of "using Communion as a weapon."
Indeed!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Early Summer Pharisaios Journal
From the Diocese of Wenchoster:
I start with Bishop Codpiecium's column out of respect for his office, although Mr. Grindle is actually my favorite person in the diocese. But don't tell the bishop that, please, especially since he was kind enough to leave a word here. It's not personal. It's that I'm somewhat in awe of people with ecclesiastical titles, and Mr G. is so folksy and down to earth.
Hello! This tame of yar brings with it a tindency to relax and assume that awl is will with the warld. Hot summer afternoons laying in the grarss arfter a libat-i-on et the Nane Bills; watching the cwarboys frolic in the Close; teasing the Cenon Precentor with may crosier; pecking for Limbeth (end may excitement continues to raise!) end looking forward to the clargy croquet evenings with great anticipat-i-on. Thus it would be easy to spind the summer in such a fash-i-on, ignoring the hayer callings which affict us awl. Therefore I have desaded to be out end abite in the darsen perishes a lot more then in the past. Once Limbeth is over (end how sed I shell be!) I see it es may duty to visit es minny perishes es possible before the evening begin to draw in, end the thunderstorms of August dempen the fetes of Shaston Farthing. Remember thet I em your bishop – end the place for a bishop is with his own people end darsis.
May the Lawd bliss you awl.
+ Roderick Codpiecium.
Will the bishops at Lambeth, er, Limbeth actually play croquet? I'll wager that they won't lay out their own wickets for the game.
I was going to post the calendar for the month of June for the diocese, but I want you to visit and explore there. Just keep processing, and you will come to it. The journal is chock full of illustrations in this issue, so those of you who like your books and periodicals with lots of pictures will be pleased.
O happy day! Mr. Grindle is back with a few wise words for us.
Well there are some who say that I must breathe a sigh of relief when we get hinto this season of Trinity just because I don’t ‘ave to change the vestments, frontals and ‘angings from the green for weeks on hend doesn’t mean that there’s no hextra work haround the cathedral during the summer months to begin with there’s the hendless stream of visitors that need watching or helse they will go hastray in the transcepts (creating more mess to clean hup) then there’s the guest celebrants and preachers from hall round the Hanglican Communion you’s think that they’d hall know ‘ow to ‘andle a maniple wouldn’t you but oh no sir I’ve seen some pretty rum things done in the sacristy I can tell you mainly by members of the Church in Wales my nearest hand dearest Mrs Grindle who is trying hout a new 'omeopathic remedy is preparing summer treats hin the Refectory hand no doubt the new menu will be published once hit’s approved by Wenchoster Public ‘Ealth. So you see hit’s a busy time.
Right! That’s it! No more rubbing Brasso hon the ‘Onourary Canons!
Oh dear. What can the members from Wales be up to in the sacristy? Mr. G. doesn't say, so we are left to wonder.
I'm not sure why this picture is at the Diocese of Wenchoster site, but I like it and the caption, although I'm not 100% sure that the caption is true.
Cowboy @ The Pearly Gates
A Texas cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker, smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.' I yelled, 'Now back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Just a couple of minutes ago!'
It's Doug again. And don't tell me this story is not true.
For good measure, I'll make this one a double.
When I got home last night, my wife said that she had a tough day
with the kids, and demanded that I take her out to some place
expensive.
So I took her to a gas station!
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker, smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.' I yelled, 'Now back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'
'Just a couple of minutes ago!'
It's Doug again. And don't tell me this story is not true.
For good measure, I'll make this one a double.
When I got home last night, my wife said that she had a tough day
with the kids, and demanded that I take her out to some place
expensive.
So I took her to a gas station!
Feast Day Of Blandina And Her Companions
"Martyrs of Lyons", by JL Gerome
At Lyons and Vienne, in Gaul, there were missionary centers which had drawn many Christians from Asia and Greece. Persecution began in 177.
At first, Christians were excluded from the public baths, the market place, and from social and public life. They were subject to attack when they appeared in public, and many Christian homes were vandalized. At this point the government became involved, and began to take Christians into custody for questioning. Some slaves from Christian households were tortured to obtain confessions, and were induced to say that Christians practiced cannibalism and incest. These charges were used to arouse the whole city against the Christians, particularly against Pothinus, the aged bishop of Lyons; Sanctus, a deacon; Attalus; Maturus, a recent convert; and Blandina, a slave. Pothinus was beaten and then released, to die of his wounds a few days later. Sanctus was tormented with red-hot irons. Blandina, tortured all day long, would say nothing except, "I am a Christian, and nothing vile is done among us." Finally, the survivors were put to death in the public arena.
From James Kiefer at the Lectionary.
Thus persecutions begin. The story brings to mind a more recent period in history.
Readings:
Psalm 126 or 34:1-8
1 Peter 1:3-9
Mark 8:34-38
The words from Peter's Epistle are among my favorites:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
As are the words from Mark's Gospel:
He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel,* will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? 38Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.’
PRAYER
Grant, O Lord, we pray, that we who keep the feast of the holy martyrs Blandina and her companions may be rooted and grounded in love of you, and may endure the sufferings of this life for the glory that shall be revealed in us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
My "Sex In The City" Evening

Because of Fran's post on the movie, "Sex and the City", I decided to see the it on the day following. I was going to the early afternoon movie, but I did not make it. Then the goal was the late afternoon movie, which I missed, too, but I did make the evening showing, and I loved it. It was two hours of pure delight for me.
I love New York. It's my second favorite city, my first being my home town, New Orleans. I had only watched the TV show rarely, because, at least in the early days, there was too much easy sleeping around, and that puts me off. I'm old and perhaps old-fashioned, but I think sex should be for special people in our lives with whom have made a commitment What were they thinking?
In the movie, each of the women has a special man in her life, so the easy sex was not there. In many ways, the movie played into one of the besetting sins here in the US of the desire to acquire material things, gorgeous clothes and shoes, beautiful hair styling, a luxurious apartment, so much of what I deplore. Yet I live in relative luxury compared to millions of people in the world. Mea culpa! Am I the one to judge? What kind of dissonance is in operation when I take such delight in such a movie? Well, it was about love and about forgiveness, and I am an incurable romantic. So. And the characters were basically decent people, who were mostly kind to each other and to others outside their circle. Also, I liked the music, even if the sound was a bit loud for my taste.
Several years ago, I spent a week with two of my sister's wealthy friends at their home. It was a week of luxury living such as I have never experienced, limousine pick-up at the airport, dining out, a night at the opera, a visit to a spa, my own suite with a private walled garden with a view of the mountains, a bathroom with a glass wall, with the same lovely view of the mountains, and I adored every minute. It was a week in fantasy land, not in the land of reality, but I lapped it up, and I remember it with great delight. Would I want to live like that all the time? No, not at all.
Was it the same lust for earthly things and pleasures that was in operation in my enjoyment of the movie? It's not the real world, but it's a lovely world of the imagination to inhabit for a spell. Of course, I could be wrong. My enjoyment could well be a demonstration of my inherent fallenness and shallowness. To paraphrase Fox News, I report. You decide.
With thanks to my friend, Fran for the recommendation.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Good News For The Diocese of San Joaquin
From the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin:
Friday Reflection 5/30/08
Dear Friends,
I received great news three days ago from the office of the manager of the Lambeth Conference. The e-mail says "we are expecting you at the Lambeth Conference". I was wondering when the invitation would arrive or even, some days, if it would ever come to Jane and me. Well, it is here and we are making plans to attend. We attended the Conference in 1998 when I was the Bishop of Northern California.
I am pleased to be going, but I am more pleased because this a clear sign from the Anglican Communion that the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin is the only Anglican Diocese in all of inland Central California. I received this invitation because I am your Bishop and, therefore, entitled to attend the Lambeth Conference as the Bishop of the Diocese of San Joaquin recognized by the Archbishop of Canterbury.
We have much work left to do in bringing this Diocese back together. But, rejoice, sisters and brothers, your faithfulness has been recognized by the Archbishop of Canterbury and by the Anglican Communion.
Rejoice, again I say, rejoice.
In peace,
+Jerry A. Lamb
Bishop of San Joaquin
Thanks to Roger for the link.
Friday Reflection 5/30/08
Dear Friends,
I received great news three days ago from the office of the manager of the Lambeth Conference. The e-mail says "we are expecting you at the Lambeth Conference". I was wondering when the invitation would arrive or even, some days, if it would ever come to Jane and me. Well, it is here and we are making plans to attend. We attended the Conference in 1998 when I was the Bishop of Northern California.
I am pleased to be going, but I am more pleased because this a clear sign from the Anglican Communion that the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin is the only Anglican Diocese in all of inland Central California. I received this invitation because I am your Bishop and, therefore, entitled to attend the Lambeth Conference as the Bishop of the Diocese of San Joaquin recognized by the Archbishop of Canterbury.
We have much work left to do in bringing this Diocese back together. But, rejoice, sisters and brothers, your faithfulness has been recognized by the Archbishop of Canterbury and by the Anglican Communion.
Rejoice, again I say, rejoice.
In peace,
+Jerry A. Lamb
Bishop of San Joaquin
Thanks to Roger for the link.
Hey What?
Beneath the photo from the REAGAN DIARIES is an actual quote that Reagan wrote about George 'W' in his diaries, recently edited by author Doug Brinkley and published by Harper Collins
"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his n'er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work."
From the REAGAN DIARIES------entry dated May 17, 1986
From Sott.Net via Doug.
UPDATE: It seems that this quote may not be from Ronald Reagan's diaries, but from a bit of satire by Michael Kinsley at The New Republic. I could not get into the site at TNR to check it out, but Snopes says it's there. Truth or Fiction says it's not a quote from Reagan's book either. I'm not knowledgeable about either of the websites that I linked to, but I tend to believe that it's satire by Kinsley and not from Reagan's diaries.
Note to me: check things out before you post. I was in a hurry this morning, and I wanted to get something up, because I would be gone for most of the day.
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Visitation Of Mary
"Visitation", from Altarpiece of the Virgin (St Vaast Altarpiece) by Jacques Daret c. 1434 - 1435. Staatliche Museen, Berlin.
Coming in the midst of our present time of war and grief are stories of new life springing forth. During the time preceding the Visitation, the angel Gabriel was about his business of carrying messages from God announcing impending births, first to Zechariah, telling him that his wife Elizabeth was to give birth to a son, and then a few months later to Mary, giving the news of her pregnancy, although she knew not man.
Soon after learning that she was with child, Mary set off to visit her cousin Elizabeth, who, in her old age, had conceived her child, John The Baptist, the herald of Mary's child, Jesus, Our Savior.
Where was Joseph during this time that Mary visited her cousin? Hard at work at his carpentry in Nazareth, I suppose.
The reading from the Gospel for the feast of the Visitation includes The Magnificat, Mary's song of praise, one of the most glorious prayers in all of the history of Christianity.
In the Old Testament Book of Samuel, we read of Hannah, the mother of Samuel, who also conceived in her old age, after giving up hope of having a child. She prayed in thanksgiving and praise to God after the birth of her son, who became a judge and a prophet. Hannah's prayer prefigures Mary's prayer.
1 Samuel 2:1-10
Hannah’s Prayer
Hannah prayed and said,
‘My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in my God.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in my victory.
‘There is no Holy One like the Lord,
no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.
Talk no more so very proudly,
let not arrogance come from your mouth;
for the Lord is a God of knowledge,
and by him actions are weighed.
The bows of the mighty are broken,
but the feeble gird on strength.
Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread,
but those who were hungry are fat with spoil.
The barren has borne seven,
but she who has many children is forlorn.
The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.
The Lord makes poor and makes rich;
he brings low, he also exalts.
He raises up the poor from the dust;
he lifts the needy from the ash heap,
to make them sit with princes
and inherit a seat of honour.
For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s,
and on them he has set the world.
‘He will guard the feet of his faithful ones,
but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness;
for not by might does one prevail.
The Lord! His adversaries shall be shattered;
the Most High will thunder in heaven.
The Lord will judge the ends of the earth;
he will give strength to his king,
and exalt the power of his anointed.’
Luke 1:39-55
The Visitation
In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leapt for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfilment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.’
And Mary said,
‘My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour,
for he has looked with favour on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and to his descendants for ever.’
PRAYER
Father in heaven, by whose grace the virgin mother of your incarnate Son was blessed in bearing him, but still more blessed in keeping your word: Grant us who honor the exaltation of her lowliness to follow the example of her devotion to your will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.
I highly recommend that you visit In A Godward Direction, Tobias Haller's blog, to listen to his musical composition.
Setting of the Magnificat from "Mountain Vespers" by Tobias Stanislas Haller BSG, sung by the members of the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory.
It's lovely.
Picture from Wiki.
Note: This post is recycled from the feast of the Visitation of Mary last year with a new painting. I hope that you enjoy it again.
UPDATE: from the comments:
Ann said...
Thanks - I posted an icon that I own at my blog.
Jindal And Jimmy
From the Times-Picayune:
BATON ROUGE -- Before becoming executive counsel this year to Gov. Bobby Jindal, Alexandria lawyer Jimmy Faircloth was a key figure in a high-risk business venture that is sparking new controversy in a Louisiana Indian tribe still shaken after becoming the victim of a national scandal.
From 2005 to 2007, Faircloth advised the Coushatta Indians to invest $30 million in a formerly bankrupt Israeli technology firm called MainNet, which so far has shown no financial return for the tribe and is dependent on monthly installments of Coushatta cash. The company also hired Faircloth's brother, on the attorney's suggestion, after the tribe began investing.
Faircloth is the executive counsel to our Governor Clean, who promised to govern according to the "gold standard" of public ethics, who would not countenance even the appearance of wrongdoing, and who would lead the legislature to enact laws that would clean up corruption in Louisiana.
Jack Abramoff, (you do remember him) a friend of Bush, who is now in jail for various transgressions, also had dealings with the Coushatta Indians, in which the Coushattas paid him a lot of money to lobby for them with the Bush maladministration. I believe that at one point, Abramoff was lobbying for the Coushattas and against them at the same. The story is complicated as is Jimmy Faircloth's story of his relationship with the Coushattas. I've wanted to write about this for a while, but I'm getting to be a lazy blogger, and it looked like hard work.
All of Faircloth's dealings with the Coushattas may well be sleazy, but they are probably not illegal. The Coushattas were suckered out of $32 million by Abramoff, after which the tribal leaders were voted out, and reformers were voted in. The reform leaders did the deals with Faircloth. The tribal leaders are out $40 million and are still paying money by the month to keep MainNet afloat. At one point Faircloth convinced them to invest another $10 million, which they would soon get back when a Nigerian general kicked in some money. Alas! The Nigerian general's investment never materialized.
Before Faircloth took his position in the Jindal administration, he severed his connection with his old law firm and relinquished his position as an investment adviser to the Coushatta tribe.
If you'd like to know more, read James Gill's column in the Times-Picayune.
If you'd like to know a lot more, here's another article from the Times-Picayune.
It's the hypocrisy, you see. After all his promises, Jindal turns out to be just another politician, which I thought he was all along. Before he was elected, I heard not a few people say that he would be the savior of the state. I hear folks talk about how smart he is, but I'm still waiting to see evidence of his smarts. I see a crafty politician, an opportunist, who is smart about promoting himself, but I'm not yet impressed with what he's done for the people of the State of Louisiana. If Jindal goes on to do great things for Louisiana, I will admit my misjudgment of him, but I don't see it happening.
BATON ROUGE -- Before becoming executive counsel this year to Gov. Bobby Jindal, Alexandria lawyer Jimmy Faircloth was a key figure in a high-risk business venture that is sparking new controversy in a Louisiana Indian tribe still shaken after becoming the victim of a national scandal.
From 2005 to 2007, Faircloth advised the Coushatta Indians to invest $30 million in a formerly bankrupt Israeli technology firm called MainNet, which so far has shown no financial return for the tribe and is dependent on monthly installments of Coushatta cash. The company also hired Faircloth's brother, on the attorney's suggestion, after the tribe began investing.
Faircloth is the executive counsel to our Governor Clean, who promised to govern according to the "gold standard" of public ethics, who would not countenance even the appearance of wrongdoing, and who would lead the legislature to enact laws that would clean up corruption in Louisiana.
Jack Abramoff, (you do remember him) a friend of Bush, who is now in jail for various transgressions, also had dealings with the Coushatta Indians, in which the Coushattas paid him a lot of money to lobby for them with the Bush maladministration. I believe that at one point, Abramoff was lobbying for the Coushattas and against them at the same. The story is complicated as is Jimmy Faircloth's story of his relationship with the Coushattas. I've wanted to write about this for a while, but I'm getting to be a lazy blogger, and it looked like hard work.
All of Faircloth's dealings with the Coushattas may well be sleazy, but they are probably not illegal. The Coushattas were suckered out of $32 million by Abramoff, after which the tribal leaders were voted out, and reformers were voted in. The reform leaders did the deals with Faircloth. The tribal leaders are out $40 million and are still paying money by the month to keep MainNet afloat. At one point Faircloth convinced them to invest another $10 million, which they would soon get back when a Nigerian general kicked in some money. Alas! The Nigerian general's investment never materialized.
Before Faircloth took his position in the Jindal administration, he severed his connection with his old law firm and relinquished his position as an investment adviser to the Coushatta tribe.
If you'd like to know more, read James Gill's column in the Times-Picayune.
If you'd like to know a lot more, here's another article from the Times-Picayune.
It's the hypocrisy, you see. After all his promises, Jindal turns out to be just another politician, which I thought he was all along. Before he was elected, I heard not a few people say that he would be the savior of the state. I hear folks talk about how smart he is, but I'm still waiting to see evidence of his smarts. I see a crafty politician, an opportunist, who is smart about promoting himself, but I'm not yet impressed with what he's done for the people of the State of Louisiana. If Jindal goes on to do great things for Louisiana, I will admit my misjudgment of him, but I don't see it happening.
Blamest Thou Not Me, Blamest Paul (A)
Psalm 151
1. The Lord is King; thou shouldst not ever forget it.
* the Lord is King, and he can kick your ass.
2. With his right hook and his holy arm
* he can surely put out your lights!
3. The Lord is great in Zion,
* and most anywhere else you care to mention.
4. He is truly smart and knows lots of things;
* that's how he got to be God.
5. Mess not with the Lord, neither shall ye piss him off;
* screw not around with him, for his sense of humor has its
limits.
6. Those who fear the Lord are counted as smart persons;
* but those who do not are as dumb as a box of rocks.
7. Incline your ear to me, O Lord, and hearken to my prayer,
* for I am a devoted Anglican.
8. Heed not the prayers of those other Protestants;
* for their prayers are silly ones.
9. They ask for things such as brand new, thick red carpeting,
* and choir-robes made of unnaturally coloured polyester.
10. They cry for pew-cushions, praise-bands, audio-systems and mood
lighting;
* and some have prayed to thee to have organs without pipes!
(Canst thou even imagine that?)
11. But as for me, I am a tasteful Episcopalian.
* (Yea, Lord, thou knowest that was highly redundant.)
12. The services which we offer before thy throne are truly spectacular;
* one wonders that thy head does not get too big to wear thy
tiara!
13. Thou takest no delight in the strumming of guitars,
* nor in the singing of 'Kumbahyah.'
14. Yet the music of Stanford, Howells, Byrd and the like
* brings a grin of pleasure even unto thy countenance.
15. I shall offer such worthy treasures unto thee as long as I shall
live,
* and not any mindless, trivial, banal pieces of crap
that some would have us consider as valid music.
16. And if I should fail to keep this promise,
* thou mayest kick my ass, as referred to in verse one.
Yea, Lord, thou knowest not to attribute this wickedness to your servant Mimi. Blamest thou Paul (A). My readers, thou also knowest that the fault lieth not with me. If thou art offended, takest the matter up with Paul (A).
1. The Lord is King; thou shouldst not ever forget it.
* the Lord is King, and he can kick your ass.
2. With his right hook and his holy arm
* he can surely put out your lights!
3. The Lord is great in Zion,
* and most anywhere else you care to mention.
4. He is truly smart and knows lots of things;
* that's how he got to be God.
5. Mess not with the Lord, neither shall ye piss him off;
* screw not around with him, for his sense of humor has its
limits.
6. Those who fear the Lord are counted as smart persons;
* but those who do not are as dumb as a box of rocks.
7. Incline your ear to me, O Lord, and hearken to my prayer,
* for I am a devoted Anglican.
8. Heed not the prayers of those other Protestants;
* for their prayers are silly ones.
9. They ask for things such as brand new, thick red carpeting,
* and choir-robes made of unnaturally coloured polyester.
10. They cry for pew-cushions, praise-bands, audio-systems and mood
lighting;
* and some have prayed to thee to have organs without pipes!
(Canst thou even imagine that?)
11. But as for me, I am a tasteful Episcopalian.
* (Yea, Lord, thou knowest that was highly redundant.)
12. The services which we offer before thy throne are truly spectacular;
* one wonders that thy head does not get too big to wear thy
tiara!
13. Thou takest no delight in the strumming of guitars,
* nor in the singing of 'Kumbahyah.'
14. Yet the music of Stanford, Howells, Byrd and the like
* brings a grin of pleasure even unto thy countenance.
15. I shall offer such worthy treasures unto thee as long as I shall
live,
* and not any mindless, trivial, banal pieces of crap
that some would have us consider as valid music.
16. And if I should fail to keep this promise,
* thou mayest kick my ass, as referred to in verse one.
Yea, Lord, thou knowest not to attribute this wickedness to your servant Mimi. Blamest thou Paul (A). My readers, thou also knowest that the fault lieth not with me. If thou art offended, takest the matter up with Paul (A).
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