If Dogs Could Talk...

If you wanted a bunny, then why didn't you just buy one?


I wish your husband had taken me with him when he left.


What is wrong with you. Seriously. Did you not get enough love as a child? Is your world so completely devoid of meaning that you think dressing me as a flower is a form of care taking?

I hope the house gets robbed tonight. And when it does, you know what? I'm not even going to bark, because FLOWERS can't bark!


Oy vey. If only Moses would have left in that 11th Commandment:

'Thou shall not desecrate one's pet.'

Thanks to Lapin.

What's This?

On Saturday, Grandpère and I stopped to see my daughter and her family on the way home from the Rising Tide Conference. When we visit the homes of our children, GP has a habit of tidying up when things are not as he believes they should be. As we were sitting in the living room talking, he was picking up lint from the rug. (I'm laughing as I write this.) He moved on to wondering what was under the sofa cushions, and then he got up and took the cushions off. Surprise! There was stuff under the cushions besides the bones of the sofa.

He picked the items up, and once the surface was clear, he began reaching into the crevices at the back and sides, all the while exclaiming at what he found there. "Look at this! How long has it been since you cleaned here?" The picture above is of all that he found which could not be vacuumed up. If you click on the picture and look at the enlarged view, you will see coins, pens, pencils, toys, papers, dust bunnies, and all manner of things.

If he visited your house, he would restrain himself from tidying up, but with our children, he will not. And they let him do it. I have my daughter's permission to post the picture. She thought the whole funny episode was worth a blog post. GP encouraged me to take the picture, because I believe he thought it would shame her, but that was not the case. There you have it. Another peek into the inner sanctum of craziness in which our family operates.

Rising Tide III - A Big Thank You

Thank you to all who had a hand in the planning and preparation of the Rising Tide III Conference. It was definitely the best yet. The keynote speaker, the moderators and panelists, and the food were all excellent. Your hard work is greatly appreciated by this New Orleanian living in exile. All in all, it was a wonderful day.

Maitri Live-Blogging At Rising Tide III

If you're interested in a fuller account of the conference, Maitri, at Maitri Vatul Blog did a terrific job of live-blogging on Saturday. The story starts here, and then you move on up to read the later posts.

I'll probably be posting more about the conference and New Orleans.

I THOUGHT MINE WAS UNIQUE...

...and now EVERYONE has one. That's not fair. From the Times-Picayune:

Gregory "Boobie" Toefield sears memories into flesh every day.

Just across the Industrial Canal, one of his Aart Accent Tat-2 facilities sits on St. Claude Avenue, lime-green facade partly overgrown with plywood boards, prim floral curtains peeking out over black bars. Inside, hunks of fiberglass are piled on a chair that looks like it belongs in a dentist's office.

Latest reopening estimate: 2010. Maybe.

Good thing I got mine in Kansas City.

But wait!

In fact, at Aart Accent's other store -- an undamaged orange building at the edge of the Quarter, decorated with a rainbow of gremlins and jesters -- Toefield does a brisk trade in New Orleans tattoos.
....

What's keeping these tattoo parlors in business, artists agree, is fleur de lis madness. Before Katrina, tattooists averaged a New Orleans tattoo or two a month, usually during Saints season. These days, Freaky Tiki does about 25 fleur de lis tattoos per week, and Toefield said he'll do a dozen a day near Mardi Gras time.

"We're doing nothing but fleur de lis," said Louis "Screwie Louie" McDowell of Brad's West Bank Tattoos in Marrero. "Everyone and their brother has to have one."

Arrggh! Shocking, just shocking! I don't like that at all. Well, I should have known. It's a no-brainer, really. Oh well. What's done is done.

Wait again! It gets worse!

And the tattoo parlors report more old folks -- Jones of Freaky Tiki recently tattooed a 75-year-old woman -- and first-timers than ever before.

Older than I am! Am I to be left with nothing to crow about? And it's a trend. More old folks! I don't want to be trendy.

Well, I console myself that the fleur-de-lis is still pretty rare in my little town, and it may be well be unique amongst the population of 73+ year old women here.

My tattoo looks better than the picture shows.

"Of Course, I Could Be On Vacation" Up Again

MadPriest is off on another holiday again. How many weeks of holidays do the English get? As a consequence, Of Course, I Could Be On Vacation is up and running again with its Krazy Krewe of Kontributors. Check out the hilarity (and occasional serious post) over there.

John Barry - Rising Tide Conference III

The New Orleans Times-Picayune carried a short account of John Barry's talk at the conference.

OK, the reporter calls it the "Riding Tide Conference", and it was not about a bit about surfing, but I suppose that's quibbling.

Local bloggers and online activists can play an important role in quashing false impressions about Hurricane Katrina and spreading accurate information about flood protection, coastal erosion and New Orleans' national importance as an economic hub, author John Barry said Saturday.
....

Among the messages Barry urged the Internet activists to spread is that if New Orleans were "wiped completely off the map," the rest of America would go into shock, with grain exports and foreign imports decimated and oil and gas production in the Gulf of Mexico reduced enough to hurt everyone.

"It's not just the Port of New Orleans" that benefits from ships that call at New Orleans, Barry said. "It's all the cities (upriver) that New Orleans makes into a port."

He also encouraged bloggers to stress that "practically the entire country" has contributed to the deterioration of Louisiana's coastal wetlands.

Dams for producing electricity in North and South Dakota prevent sediment from moving down the Mississippi River to build up wetlands in Louisiana. 10,000 miles of oil and gas pipelines run through the Louisiana marshlands. The pipelines have contributed greatly to land loss. Louisiana produces a large portion of the oil and gas used in the US today, one fourth, I believe. Were the oil and gas wells, the pipelines, and the refineries in Louisiana put out of business, the rest of country would suffer greatly.

It may be hard for folks from other parts of the country to understand that what happens in Louisiana is not simply a local issue. Purely out of self-interest, if for no other reason, attention must be paid.

Rising Tide Conference

Tomorrow, Grandpère and I will be in New Orleans at the Rising Tide III Conference. John Barry the author off Rising Tide: The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 and How It Changed America will be keynote speaker at the Conference this year.

According to Oyster, at Your Right Hand Thief, lagniappe will include:

...Lee "hurting the recovery" Zurik, a catered lunch from J'Anita's, and the opportunity to see Dangerblond explode and forcefully put someone in his/her place, which has become a yearly tradition.

Dangerblond is a force. You don't want to mess with her.

Many of the bloggers will be blogging the conference from their laptops, but since I don't have a laptop, I will not. Sometimes it's good just to listen.

Au revoir, mes amis. Jusqu'à demain soir.

The George W. Bush Library

GWB Library to Open in 2009

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.

The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling.

The 'Tax Cut' Room with entry only to the wealthy.

The 'Economy Room' which is in the toilet.

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location,complete with shotgun gallery.

The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.

The Supreme Court's Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.

The 'Decider Room' complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

The museum will also have an electron microscope to help you locate the President's accomplishments.

That sounds about right. What do you think?

From Doug.

The Girls And The Finger

This morning, I went to the Friday school mass at the Roman Catholic Church to which the school that two of my grandchildren attend is attached. My granddaughter was carrying up the gifts, and I wanted to be there. The Irish priest who is the pastor of the parish is quite good with the children. He has, in the past, given sermons that were paeans of praise to George W. Bush, but he did not do so today, thanks be to God, because, when he does, he puts me rather fully off my spiritual balance for the rest of the mass.

Today was the feast of Mary, Queen of Heaven. There was much talk of Mary as queen and Mary's queenship. I wonder what Mary, in her bliss in the heavenly kingdom, thinks of this talk of her queenship. She probably smiles indulgently and says, "There they go again." I think of "The Song of Mary", the magnificent "Magnificat", in which Mary sings the praises of God:

He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.

Of course, God highly exalted the young Jewish girl by calling her to the awesome task of mothering Jesus, the God-Man. I love and honor Mary greatly, nevertheless, in my humble opinion, the talk of her queenship may not be entirely to her liking. Of course, I could be wrong.

The Gospel today was the story of the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she was to be the mother of the Son of the Most High. Instead of reading the Gospel, Fr. Irish gave a brief paraphrase of the Gospel story, either extemporaneously or from memory. The paraphrase was quite good, and yet, I would like for the children to have heard the actual Gospel, perhaps with the excellent paraphrase following.

Several recitations of the "Hail Mary" were interspersed throughout the mass, which is a new practice since I moved to the Episcopal Church. Perhaps these additions are according to Fr. Irish's personal preference and not in general use.

A couple of the hymns were oldies which I remembered verbatim, such as "Immaculate Mary" and "Salve Regina", which I rather like singing, although the sentiments are not entirely mine. For some reason, the theology expressed in hymns doesn't seem to greatly affect my liking for them.

The picture above is the rear view of the three girls who carried up the gifts. My granddaughter is in the center. The picture below was to be the front view of the girls, but I was in a hurry, and what I got is my middle finger and a blur. Here it is, readers, my middle finger.