PRAYERS BIG TIME SAYS CAMINANTE

Please read Caminante's post about the attempted assassination of Bishop Martín Barahona, of the Anglican Church of El Salvador, and two close associates, in which the bishop's driver, Francis Martinez, was injured and is now hospitalized.

Please pray for the recovery of the Francis Martinez and for the safety of Bishop Barahona and his associates.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw "assassination" and Bishop Barahona.

THE OSTRICH

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Saturday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly after the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "So what's with the ostrich, then?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "Well, my second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."


Cheers or jeers to Paul (A.).

STORY OF THE DAY - WELL-BEHAVED

They're like pets who shed clothes
instead of hair, she said, & they talk
back & want a lot of stuff. But at least
they don't pee on the carpet anymore,
she added.


Who are they?

From StoryPeople.

DOGS FIRST DOMESTICATED IN MIDDLE EAST

The dingo was one of the breeds studied to determine where dogs were first domesticated from wolves. New York Times.

From Yahoo News:

From French poodles to German shepherds, domestic dogs likely trace most of their ancestry to the Middle East, as opposed to East Asian origins suggested by previous research, a genetic study reported on Wednesday.

The findings, published in the online edition of the scientific journal Nature, support an archaeological record that closely links the domestication of dogs in the Middle East with the rise of human civilization there, scientists said.

"It's significant because this is where civilization developed, and dogs were part of that," said Robert Wayne, professor of evolutionary biology at the University of California, Los Angeles, and a senior author of the study.

The region, often referred to as the Fertile Crescent, includes much of modern-day Iraq, Syria, Lebanon and Jordan --

"the same area where domestic cats and many of our livestock originated, and where agriculture first developed," he said.

The study is based on genetic comparisons between more than 900 dogs representing 85 breeds and over 200 wild gray wolves -- the closest living wild relative of dogs -- from around the globe, including North America, Europe, East Asia and the Middle East.

From wolf to French poodle is quite a genetic leap. The findings make good sense, though.

While some dog breeds have ancient histories, 80 percent are modern varieties that have evolved since the explosion in dog breeding during the Victorian era, Wayne said.

And the breeders have made mistakes along the way.

Read the entire article. The evolution of the relationship between dogs and humans is fascinating.

The New York Times has the story, too.

POWER TO THE SISTAHS!

From CNN":

A group of Catholic nuns is urging Congress to pass health care reform, breaking ranks with bishops who say the current bill does not do enough to block federal money from being used to fund abortions.

"We write to urge you to cast a life-affirming 'yes' vote when the Senate health care bill (H.R. 3590) comes to the floor of the House for a vote as early as this week," a group of nuns wrote in a letter to members of Congress released Wednesday by NETWORK, progressive Catholic advocacy organization.

NETWORK said the 55 signatories represent tens of thousands of Catholic nuns in the United States.
....

"And despite false claims to the contrary, the Senate bill will not provide taxpayer funding for elective abortions," the letter reads. "It will uphold longstanding conscience protections and it will make historic new investments – $250 million – in support of pregnant women. This is the REAL pro-life stance, and we as Catholics are all for it."

The nuns are siding with the Catholic Health Association, a group representing Catholic hospitals, which offered its support for reform earlier this week.

Good news, indeed! The Vatican's investigation of the religious orders in the US, along with child abuse scandals which moved closer to the pope, may have encouraged the nuns to take an independent stand from the hierarchy. However, the nuns whom I've known have not been lacking in feistiness, and the good sisters, very likely, did not need much of a push.

THE REV. CANON MARY GLASSPOOL RECEIVES CONSENTS

The Diocese of Los Angeles received word from the Presiding Bishop’s Office on March 17 of completion of the wider church’s consent process to the Dec. 5, 2009 election of the Rev. Canon Mary Douglas Glasspool as Bishop Suffragan in the Diocese of Los Angeles.

Wonderful news! I breathe a sigh of relief that the Episcopal Church takes another step forward for justice and inclusion. Although many folks who know more than I about the inner workings of TEC said that Canon Glasspool would receive consents, I could not believe until now.

See The Lead for details.

See also Mark Harris' post at Preludium on what the election of Mary Glasspool means for the Episcopal Church.

WHEN PRESIDENT OBAMA COMES BACK HOME TO MONEYGALL

By the Corrigan Brothers


Thanks to Paddy Anglican, who says:

You heard it first here! Strong rumours of an Obama visit to Ireland in June this year - The Corrigan Brothers have written a song for the occasion and have sent a copy to the Taoiseach to present to President Obama on St. Patrick's Day in Washington.

The White House discounts the rumors but says that Obama wants to visit Ireland sometime during his term. Who knows? The visit could happen.

The lyrics to the song may be found at Paddy's blog.

Paddy, aka as Stephen Neill, is named in the song:

I am an Anglican priest in the diocese of Limerick & Killaloe and fortunate enough to be the Rector of the Church where President Barack Obama's 3rd Great grandfather was baptized!

ST PATRICK'S BREASTPLATE

THE LORICA, OR, ST PATRICK'S BREASTPLATE


I bind unto myself today
the strong Name of the Trinity,
by invocation of the same,
the Three in One, and One in Three.

I bind this day to me forever,
by power of faith, Christ's Incarnation;
his baptism in the Jordan river;
his death on cross for my salvation;
his bursting from the spiced tomb;
his riding up he heavenly way;
his coming at the day of doom:
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
of the great love of cherubim;
the sweet "Well done" in judgement hour;
the service of the seraphim;
confessors' faith, apostles' word,
the patriarchs' prayers, the prophets' scrolls;
all good deeds done unto the Lord,
and purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
the virtues of the starlit heaven,
the glorious sun's life-giving ray,
the whiteness of the moon at even,
the flashing of the lightning free,
the whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
the stable earth, the deep salt sea,
around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
the power of God to hold and lead,
his eye to watch, his might to stay,
his ear to hearken to my need;
the wisdom of my God to teach,
his hand to guide, his shield to ward;
the word of God to give me speech,
his heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
the vice that gives temptation force,
the natural lusts that war within,
the hostile men that mar my course;
of few or many, far or nigh,
in every place, and in all hours
against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
against false words of heresy,
against the knowledge that defiles
against the heart's idolatry,
against the wizard's evil craft,
against the death-wound and the burning
the choking wave and poisoned shaft,
protect me, Christ, till thy returning.]

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
the strong Name of the Trinity,
by invocation of the same,
the Three in One, and One in Three.
Of whom all nature hath creation,
eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
praise to the Lord of my salvation,
salvation is of Christ the Lord.

The Lorica is a truly magnificent hymn, found today in many hymnals.... The translation into English as given here is by Cecil Frances Alexander, whose husband was Archbishop of Armagh, and thus the direct successor of Patrick. She published nearly 400 poems and hymns of her own, including the well-known "There is a green hill far away," "Once in royal David's city," "Jesus calls us; o'er the tumult," and "All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small."


James Kiefer at The Lectionary.

Listen here.

ST. PAT'S DAY SHORTIES BUT GOODIES

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.

"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.

"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.
-----

The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "

"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."
-----

"Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece?"

"No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time!"
-----

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.

Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk!!
-----

Mike lay dying on his bed when his wife Brigid came in to him and asked if there was anything he wanted.

Mike said "Brigid, what is that delicious smell coming from the kitchen?"

And Brigid replied "Oh Mike that is a ham I am baking."

Mike thought, and said "Brigid, as my dying wish I would love to have some of that ham you're cooking."

Then Brigid said "Oh Mike, I'm saving that for the wake!!"
-----

"Did you hear that Flanagan invented an invisible deodorant?"

"No, what good is it ?"

"Well if you use, you vanish and no one knows where the smell is coming from!"


AS YOU SLIDE DOWN THE BANISTER OF LIFE, MAY THE SPLINTERS NEVER POINT IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.

ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE AMENDMENT DIES IN PENNSYLVANIA

According to Tim Kincaid at Box Turtle Bulletin, an anti-gay marriage amendment to the Pennsylvania constitution submitted by state Senator John H. Eichelberger, Jr. died in the Judiciary Committee.

Tim says:

But there was no debate whatsoever on the bill, so we can only speculate about possible motivations. It may well be that these Senators have come to know and love gay people in their lives. They may have found a new respect for equality.

I hope so.