1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
4. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
5. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months
6. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A
7. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it!
8. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
9. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
10. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
11. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is just two-tired.
12. A will is a dead giveaway.
13. A backward poet writes inverse.
14. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
15. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum blownapart.
16. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. A calendar's days are numbered.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
20. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
21. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Doug, I culled a few, because certain of my readers have short attention spans, and I knew they would not read them all. I chose those that made ME laugh. I await the groans from the hard to please folks.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
To Help The People Of Myanmar
Those of you, Episcopalians or otherwise, who may want to help the people of Myanmar, I direct you to the Episcopal Development and Relief Fund. Other denominations and organizations are also providing relief aid.
The death toll has now reached 22,000. That is simply an unimaginable number. The grief, misery, and devastation are catastrophic.
O gracious God, we will never understand the sorrows of the world, but by your grace we will not turn away from them. Renew and sustain in us the spirit of love that crosses miles. Cheer and encourage those who labor to help the injured, the homeless, the hungry and those in despair. Bless and soften the hearts of those who would take advantage of tragedy for their own profit, that they may come to know where true joy is to be found. Unite us in prayer with all those who look for help, and use us to come speedily to them with the things that they need. We ask these things in your own most holy Name. Amen.
Barbara Crafton, Episcopal priest
Prayer from Beliefnet.
UPDATE: CNN is now reporting 100,000 dead.
The death toll has now reached 22,000. That is simply an unimaginable number. The grief, misery, and devastation are catastrophic.
O gracious God, we will never understand the sorrows of the world, but by your grace we will not turn away from them. Renew and sustain in us the spirit of love that crosses miles. Cheer and encourage those who labor to help the injured, the homeless, the hungry and those in despair. Bless and soften the hearts of those who would take advantage of tragedy for their own profit, that they may come to know where true joy is to be found. Unite us in prayer with all those who look for help, and use us to come speedily to them with the things that they need. We ask these things in your own most holy Name. Amen.
Barbara Crafton, Episcopal priest
Prayer from Beliefnet.
UPDATE: CNN is now reporting 100,000 dead.
Happy Birthday To Jane R.!
Happy Birthday to Jane R. at Acts of Hope!
Love and joy and peace to you, dear Jane, on this your blessed day of birth.
The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
"Shinto And The Life Of A Dog Man"
From the Washington Post:
Each spring in the snow country of Japan there’s an ancient custom of hiking to the top of a mountain as soon as the trails are passable. It’s called O-Yama-biraki or Open Mountain Day. What began as a ritual of the pre-Buddhist days of Japan, when the animistic folk religion of Shinto was practiced, endures. You hike to the summit to greet the spirit of the mountain as it wakes from the long winter. From the Shinto perspective, the natural world is sacred. Mountains are sacred. Trees are sacred. Kami or nature spirits dwell there.
....
For sixty years, since Morie [Sawataishi] rescued the Akita breed from extinction during World War II – when they were being eaten, and their luxurious pelts used by the Japanese military to line winter coats -- his dogs have led him into the wild. Together, they have traveled to a deeper place, a world of instinct and survival. They have encountered growling beasts and dead carcasses, poisonous mushrooms, flying pheasants and lost hikers.
....
Like most Japanese, Morie finds it hard to say exactly what is Shinto, what is Japanese, and what is simply “life.” The belief system is so old, and its basic values and patterns of behavior so ingrained in Japanese culture, Shinto doesn’t often appear to be a formalized set of beliefs as much as a way of living, a way of seeing, a way of thinking about the world and nature and our place in it.
Simplicity and restraint are Shinto. Natural beauty is Shinto – and the reverence not just for nature, but for things kept natural. Unpainted and unvarnished wood is Shinto. The passing of the seasons, the melting snow on the ground, the whisper of the wind in the trees. A dignified old tree can be declared a kami, or natural spirit, and blessed by a priest and then festooned, and protected, by an elegant twisted rice straw rope. A wild forest is Shinto. And the path of a dog, too.
In her new book, "Dog Man: An Uncommon Life on a Faraway Mountain", Martha Sherrill tells the story of Morie Sawataishi, a 92 year old Shinto, and his Akitas.
Photo from the Midwest Akita Rescue Society.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Nuns Turned Away By "Fellow Bride"
From the Associated Press:
About 12 Indiana nuns were turned away Tuesday from a polling place by a fellow bride of Christ because they didn't have state or federal identification bearing a photograph.
Sister Julie McGuire said she was forced to turn away her fellow sisters at Saint Mary's Convent in South Bend, across the street from the University of Notre Dame, because they had been told earlier that they would need such an ID to vote.
The nuns, all in their 80s or 90s, didn't get one but came to the precinct anyway.
Uppity old girls, aren't they? I guess the "fellow bride" couldn't cut 'em any slack. Rules are rules.
About 12 Indiana nuns were turned away Tuesday from a polling place by a fellow bride of Christ because they didn't have state or federal identification bearing a photograph.
Sister Julie McGuire said she was forced to turn away her fellow sisters at Saint Mary's Convent in South Bend, across the street from the University of Notre Dame, because they had been told earlier that they would need such an ID to vote.
The nuns, all in their 80s or 90s, didn't get one but came to the precinct anyway.
Uppity old girls, aren't they? I guess the "fellow bride" couldn't cut 'em any slack. Rules are rules.
Brazilian Bishops' Letter
From Father Francisco Silva at KANTINHO DO REV in Brazil:
"Segunda-feira, Abril 28, 2008
Brazilian Bishops responds to the St Andrews's Draft of the Covenant
During its last meeting in Curitiba, the House of Bishops of the Episcopal Anglican Church of Brazil generated an official response to the Anglican Covenant - St. Andrew's Draft. Such draft was sent to all Anglican Communion provinces, so they would examine it and send suggestions to it.
After a consultation process leaded by the Primatial Advisor group, a letter was presented before the Bishop's House and discussed and unanimously agreed.
Bellow you can read the full text. The original letter also could be found at www.ieab.org.br in the documents section.":
LIFE IN COMMUNION AND THE COMMUNION OF LIFE
At our meeting of the House of Bishops , we, the bishops of the Episcopal Anglican Church of Brazil, , wish to say that we are following with great interest the work of the Commission, which is proposing to the Anglican Communion a Covenant whose objective would be to help overcome the current tensions within the church.
We appreciate the effort and sincere concern of this group and we recognize how their work has brought about important reflections on our nature as communion.
However, although acknowledging that commendable effort, we believe that our Communion does not need new instruments of consensus beyond those that historically have been our benchmarks in terms of identity.
We have diligently studied the second draft of the Covenant, known as the St Andrew’s Draft, and despite some new insights shown from the first reactions to the proposal coming from various parts of the Communion, according to our view, the proposition is still problematic.
Sections 05 and 06 in the new proposal focus on elements that we believe are unnecessary and inapplicable to our Communion. In the manner in which they are presented, they constitute a serious setback in the understanding of what is Communion, prioritising the juridical dimension more and less so the ecclesiological and affective dimensions that have been the historical mark of our mutual interdependence.
The Covenant continues to be a mistaken proposal for the resolution of conflicts through the creation of curial instances absolutely alien to our ethos.
We are fully convinced that the time in which we live is marked by symptoms that value highly the building up of networks and other manifestations of communion in a spontaneous way in the various aspects of human life. Insisting on a formal and juridical Covenant, with the logic of discipline and exercise of power, means to move in the opposite direction, thus returning to the days of Modernity, with its Confessions, Covenants, Diets and other rational instruments of theological consensus.
The nature of the Anglican Communion already has sufficient elements that both characterize and nurture it. This is the richness of our cultural and hermeneutical diversity that always creates the challenge of positive tension for us, which experienced in the exercise of dispersed and shared authority. We can not, however, allow it to be replaced by a legal, circumstantial instrument of political control.
Communion is never created and developed by the letter. The true communion is nurtured by the Spirit. The true communion is life. The paschal mystery that we live in this liturgical season is an unmistakable demonstration of what we need to re-affirm. Faith in the Risen Christ does not presuppose text, but rather an open heart and a humble faith. It was the event of the Resurrection and the affective perception of it that generated a Community, a Communion.
Thus, inspired by this liturgical season and aware of the richness of our Communion, we manifest the conviction that the Covenant is not an essential element to maintain or strengthen our Communion; on the contrary, it risks defacing it. Our history and the instruments we have are already sufficient to build unity from the richness of our diversity, in a continuous process of listening and mutual respect.
Curitiba, 04 April 2008.
The Most Revd. Maurício Andrade, Primate and Brasília
The Rt. Revd Almir dos Santos, Oeste
The Rt. Revd. Pereira Neves, Santa Maria-RS
The Rt.Revd. Orlando Santos de Oliveira, Porto Alegre, RS
The Rt. Revd. Celso Franco, Rio de Janeiro, RJ
The Rt. Revd. Naudal Alves Gomes, Curitiba, PR
The Rt. Revd. Sebastião Armando Gameleira Soares, Recife, PE
The Rt. Revd. Filadelfo de Oliveira Neto, Recife, PE
The Rt. Revd. Saulo Maurício de Barros, Belém, PA
The Rt. Revd. Renato da Cruz Raatz, Pelotas, RS
The Rt. Revd. Roger Bird-São Paulo, SP
The Rt. Revd. Clovis Erly Rodrigues, House of Bishop
The Rt. Revd. Luiz Osório Pires Prado, House of Bishop
The Rt. Revd. Glauco Soares de Lima, House of Bishop
Amen, and amen, and amen!
The emphases in bold type are my choices of words that especially resonated with me in a positive way from what I consider an excellent response to the covenant draft for the Anglican Communion.
Thanks to Paul at Byzigenous Buddhapalian for the logo and permission to use it.
From The Mouths Of Babes....
Some fun from Ann at What the Tide Brings In:
A 1st Grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-
known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder
of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by
first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep
in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last
one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses // until they stop running..
2. Strike while the // bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before //Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of // termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but // How?
6. Don't bite the hand that //looks dirty.
7. No news is // impossible
8. A miss is as good as a // Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new // Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll // stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust // Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the //pigs.
13. An idle mind is //the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's // pollution.
15. Happy the bride who // gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is // not much.
17. Two's company, three's // the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what // you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and // You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as // Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not //spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed // get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you // See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind // get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand // is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than // Pregnant.
A 1st Grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-
known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder
of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by
first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep
in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last
one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses // until they stop running..
2. Strike while the // bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before //Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of // termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but // How?
6. Don't bite the hand that //looks dirty.
7. No news is // impossible
8. A miss is as good as a // Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new // Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll // stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust // Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the //pigs.
13. An idle mind is //the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's // pollution.
15. Happy the bride who // gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is // not much.
17. Two's company, three's // the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what // you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and // You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as // Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not //spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed // get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you // See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind // get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand // is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than // Pregnant.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Paul And Mimi
Paul looking handsome and Mimi looking like a deer in the headlights.
Paul, the Byzigenous Buddhapalian, who lives in Albuquerque, is working in New Orleans for a month or two, but poor baby, he is working such long hours, that he won't have much time to whoop it up and party in New Orleans. This weekend seemed to be the only time we could squeeze a meeting into his busy schedule. Since his birthday is on May 8, we made it an early birthday celebration, too.
Last night, Grandpère and I made our way through the highways and the byways of Jefferson Parish to pick up Paul to go to dinner, and we only made one wrong turn, finding his apartment rather uneventfully, since he had given us very good directions. After our last encounter with another vehicle by our vehicle, I said that Grandpère would not be driving my car in New Orleans. However, because of my knee problem, we had no choice but for him to drive, since it's my driving knee that is hurting. (My knee is, by the way, much better, although not back to normal, yet.)
Paul is TALL. I had no idea. His photo on his gravatar is ten years old, but he looks pretty much the same, except that he's a bit thinner in the old picture. We drove on to the restaurant, Andrea's, which serves northern Italian food, which was not far away with the only usual amount of bickering between GP and me. Either I don't give good directions, or GP doesn't follow directions well.
Paul is quite the gentleman, doing all the polite things that GP has long ceased to do, if he ever did them, (I can't remember) like opening car doors and holding the chair in the restaurant. Paul is handsome, charming, and funny. We had a lovely dinner with wine, dessert, and what I thought was good conversation. But once we'd dropped Paul off at his apartment, GP said I had talked too much and monopolized the conversation. At least, he didn't embarrass me by saying that in front of Paul. If I did that, Paul, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
Paul is so classy. The proprietor and chef came to our table to greet us, and Paul spoke to him in Italian, and then they had a brief conversation in Italian. He's classy all around. How lovely to meet him in real life after our internet acquaintance. GP is still mystified by blogging and a little spooked by my hooking up with folks that I meet on the internet. Once we were in the restaurant, I asked GP, "OK, is this scary? Are you afraid of Paul?" He admitted that he was not, even though Paul is much bigger.
On the way home, GP and I sort of lost it with the bickering about driving and directions. There was poor Paul in the back seat, taking it all in. At one point, I turned to him and asked him, "Can you believe that this marriage has lasted 46 years? Can this marriage be saved?" I made him PROMISE not to reveal how much like the Bickersons we really are. We lost our way and had to do some doubling back to get Paul back to his place, but we finally made it there and dropped him off. He gave us directions for getting out of the huge apartment complex, but we found the gate he directed us to locked, so we circled and circled around trying to find our way out of the place, where all the buildings looked alike, and finally, finally we did. We were on our way back to Thibodaux, with only one wrong turn. Folks, I tell you, we are directionally challenged, pitiful, damned near hopeless. It's a wonder we have made our way through life.
I seem to have succeeded in making it better myself. Yay!
El Cinco De Mayo
Today is my beloved sister Gayle's birthday. She died two years ago on April 27. We celebrated her life in a memorial service on her birthday, May 5, 2006. After the service, we had a quiet gathering of friends and family. Later that evening, we had a not-so-quiet gathering, in other words, a party. Gayle loved parties, so it was fitting.
She also loved that she shared her birthday with the celebration of the Mexican victory over the French in the city of Puebla, which is, of course! an occasion for parties.
¡Viva México! ¡Viva El Cinco de Mayo!
¡Viva Gayle! ¡May we meet in the kingdom!
She also loved that she shared her birthday with the celebration of the Mexican victory over the French in the city of Puebla, which is, of course! an occasion for parties.
¡Viva México! ¡Viva El Cinco de Mayo!
¡Viva Gayle! ¡May we meet in the kingdom!
10,000 Dead, 3000 Missing - Myanmar
From Yahoo:
BANGKOK (Reuters) - Myanmar's military government has a provisional death toll of 10,000 from this weekend's devastating cyclone, with another 3,000 missing, a diplomat said on Monday after a briefing from Foreign Minister Nyan Win.
May those who have died rest in peace and rise in glory.
May God heal grieving hearts and minds and grant strength and courage to the living in the face of unimaginable disaster. Touch the hearts and minds of many of the peoples of the world to offer help and aid to the people of Myanmar.
Lord, have mercy.
Truly, I have no further words in the face of tragedy writ so large.
BANGKOK (Reuters) - Myanmar's military government has a provisional death toll of 10,000 from this weekend's devastating cyclone, with another 3,000 missing, a diplomat said on Monday after a briefing from Foreign Minister Nyan Win.
May those who have died rest in peace and rise in glory.
May God heal grieving hearts and minds and grant strength and courage to the living in the face of unimaginable disaster. Touch the hearts and minds of many of the peoples of the world to offer help and aid to the people of Myanmar.
Lord, have mercy.
Truly, I have no further words in the face of tragedy writ so large.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A Truly Terrible Joke
From my dear friend Fran:
Two cops see a car weaving erratically on the road ahead, so they pursue and stop the auto. One of the cops walks over to the vehicle and sees a plain plastic sports bottle on the seat next to the driver. The driver just happens to be a priest - collar and all.
The cop says "Father - I need to see your license and registration." So the priest hands it over without comment. The cop then asks if the priest has been drinking, to which the priest replies "No!". Then the cop proceeds to ask the priest about the sports bottle on the passenger seat and the priest says that it is "just water." The cop doesn't believe him, but goes back to the patrol car to run the license and so forth.
When he finds no prior offenses, he and the other cop saunter back to Father's car. The other cop then asks to see the sports bottle, which the priest hands over without hesitation.
It is filled with wine!!
The cop looks at his partner and says "I told you that I was Catholic. This is what happens every time!"
Father says, "He's done it again! Halleluiah".
Thanks to Doorman-Priest, in the comments, for the revised punchline. What do you think?
Fran sez, "That is truly terrible - is it not Mimi????"
Mimi sez, "Fran it is - truly."
Two cops see a car weaving erratically on the road ahead, so they pursue and stop the auto. One of the cops walks over to the vehicle and sees a plain plastic sports bottle on the seat next to the driver. The driver just happens to be a priest - collar and all.
The cop says "Father - I need to see your license and registration." So the priest hands it over without comment. The cop then asks if the priest has been drinking, to which the priest replies "No!". Then the cop proceeds to ask the priest about the sports bottle on the passenger seat and the priest says that it is "just water." The cop doesn't believe him, but goes back to the patrol car to run the license and so forth.
When he finds no prior offenses, he and the other cop saunter back to Father's car. The other cop then asks to see the sports bottle, which the priest hands over without hesitation.
It is filled with wine!!
Father says, "He's done it again! Halleluiah".
Thanks to Doorman-Priest, in the comments, for the revised punchline. What do you think?
Fran sez, "That is truly terrible - is it not Mimi????"
Mimi sez, "Fran it is - truly."
Still Beating The Dead Horse
I know. Y'all are getting tired and bored with my blathering on about the whole Obama-Wright affair, which would not be a story at all, if they were two white men. But what I believe you're seeing is the response to a "scary black man". This may be my last post on the subject, but I make no promises.
From Charlie Reese at Lewrockwell.com, a libertarian website. Rockwell is a supporter of Ron Paul.
He [Wright] does not lower his eyes, bow and scrape, eat crow or humble pie, or apologize. If you insult him, he'll insult you back. I like the guy a whole lot. I disagree with him on some points, but I've come to like and admire him. He makes a better speech than most candidates, and certainly a better and more intelligent one than the so-called pundits.
....
Here was a distinguished man with an exceptionally great career watching his whole life being reduced to a few sound bites created by some political trash. He finally had enough. He was interviewed by Bill Moyers, and he made two great speeches, one at the National Press Club and one at the NAACP national convention. Now let's look at the media trick involved in this.
....
Now, in the first place, this was the old guilt-by-association gimmick – Sen. Obama, you either have to denounce this man or we will assume you agree with and condone all of his views. Bull. The Rev. Wright is not part of the Obama campaign, doesn't write his speeches and doesn't speak for him. Obama should have said: "Look, we have no connection except a personal one. I've told you I don't agree with all of his views, but I cherish his friendship, and if you don't like that, you can go to hell. And if you have any questions about him or his views, ask him, not me." Then he should have stuck to his campaign message and ignored any questions about the Rev. Wright.
Instead, Obama caved in to the media pressure. As a result, I think a lot more of Wright than I do of Obama. No one should ever let somebody else tell him who he is supposed to like and dislike, and whose views he is supposed to denounce. When people write off other human beings because of a difference of opinion, then you know those people are fanatics. Obama claimed to be offended that the Rev. Wright said Obama had to speak as a politician while he had to speak as a pastor. Then Obama did exactly what the Rev. Wright said he would do – he spoke like a politician.
Yes, I know that the Rev. Wright purchased property in an exclusive, predominantly white community (Imagine!) and is building a house that will cost $1.6 million, with help from the congregation of the church from which he's retiring, but what's that got to do with it? He won't be the first religious leader living in luxury, nor will he be the last.
UPDATE: Thanks to Jim at JindalWatch for the link to Reese's column. While you're there, you can read about the near escape of the Louisiana legislators from having to eat cheap meals in his "The Fear of Taco Bell still Looms Large" post.
UPDATE 2: And the beat goes on. Read Frank Rich's column in the New York Times.
From Charlie Reese at Lewrockwell.com, a libertarian website. Rockwell is a supporter of Ron Paul.
He [Wright] does not lower his eyes, bow and scrape, eat crow or humble pie, or apologize. If you insult him, he'll insult you back. I like the guy a whole lot. I disagree with him on some points, but I've come to like and admire him. He makes a better speech than most candidates, and certainly a better and more intelligent one than the so-called pundits.
....
Here was a distinguished man with an exceptionally great career watching his whole life being reduced to a few sound bites created by some political trash. He finally had enough. He was interviewed by Bill Moyers, and he made two great speeches, one at the National Press Club and one at the NAACP national convention. Now let's look at the media trick involved in this.
....
Now, in the first place, this was the old guilt-by-association gimmick – Sen. Obama, you either have to denounce this man or we will assume you agree with and condone all of his views. Bull. The Rev. Wright is not part of the Obama campaign, doesn't write his speeches and doesn't speak for him. Obama should have said: "Look, we have no connection except a personal one. I've told you I don't agree with all of his views, but I cherish his friendship, and if you don't like that, you can go to hell. And if you have any questions about him or his views, ask him, not me." Then he should have stuck to his campaign message and ignored any questions about the Rev. Wright.
Instead, Obama caved in to the media pressure. As a result, I think a lot more of Wright than I do of Obama. No one should ever let somebody else tell him who he is supposed to like and dislike, and whose views he is supposed to denounce. When people write off other human beings because of a difference of opinion, then you know those people are fanatics. Obama claimed to be offended that the Rev. Wright said Obama had to speak as a politician while he had to speak as a pastor. Then Obama did exactly what the Rev. Wright said he would do – he spoke like a politician.
Yes, I know that the Rev. Wright purchased property in an exclusive, predominantly white community (Imagine!) and is building a house that will cost $1.6 million, with help from the congregation of the church from which he's retiring, but what's that got to do with it? He won't be the first religious leader living in luxury, nor will he be the last.
UPDATE: Thanks to Jim at JindalWatch for the link to Reese's column. While you're there, you can read about the near escape of the Louisiana legislators from having to eat cheap meals in his "The Fear of Taco Bell still Looms Large" post.
UPDATE 2: And the beat goes on. Read Frank Rich's column in the New York Times.
Wake Me Up
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Doug strikes again.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Doug strikes again.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Moyers On Wright - A Voice Of Sanity
From Bill Moyers' Journal:
....Many of you have asked for some rational explanation for Wright's transition from reasonable conversation to shocking anger at the National Press Club. A psychologist might pull back some of the layers and see this complicated man more clearly, but I'm not a psychologist. Many black preachers I've known — scholarly, smart, and gentle in person — uncorked fire and brimstone in the pulpit. Of course I've known many white preachers like that, too.
But where I grew up in the south, before the civil rights movement, the pulpit was a safe place for black men to express anger for which they would have been punished anywhere else; a safe place for the fierce thunder of dignity denied, justice delayed. I think I would have been angry if my ancestors had been transported thousands of miles in the hellish hole of a slave ship, then sold at auction, humiliated, whipped, and lynched. Or if my great-great grandfather had been but three-fifths of a person in a constitution that proclaimed, "We the people." Or if my own parents had been subjected to the racial vitriol of Jim Crow, Strom Thurmond, Bull Connor, and Jesse Helms. Even so, the anger of black preachers I've known and heard about and reported on was, for them, very personal and cathartic.
....
But in this multimedia age the pulpit isn't only available on Sunday mornings. There's round the clock media — the beast whose hunger is never satisfied, especially for the fast food with emotional content. So the preacher starts with rational discussion and after much prodding throws more and more gasoline on the fire that will eventually consume everything it touches. He had help — people who for their own reasons set out to conflate the man in the pulpit who wasn't running for president with the man in the pew who was.
Behold the double standard: John McCain sought out the endorsement of John Hagee, the war-mongering Catholic-bashing Texas preacher who said the people of New Orleans got what they deserved for their sins. But no one suggests McCain shares Hagee's delusions, or thinks AIDS is God's punishment for homosexuality. Pat Robertson called for the assassination of a foreign head of state and asked God to remove Supreme Court justices, yet he remains a force in the Republican religious right. After 9/11 Jerry Falwell said the attack was God's judgment on America for having been driven out of our schools and the public square, but when McCain goes after the endorsement of the preacher he once condemned as an agent of intolerance, the press gives him a pass.
....
Which means it is all about race, isn't it? Wright's offensive opinions and inflammatory appearances are judged differently. He doesn't fire a shot in anger, put a noose around anyone's neck, call for insurrection, or plant a bomb in a church with children in Sunday school. What he does is to speak his mind in a language and style that unsettle some people, and says some things so outlandish and ill-advised that he finally leaves Obama no choice but to end their friendship. We are often exposed to the corroding acid of the politics of personal destruction, but I've never seen anything like this, this wrenching break between pastor and parishioner before our very eyes. Both men no doubt will carry the grief to their graves. All the rest of us should hang our heads in shame for letting it come to this in America, where the gluttony of the non-stop media grinder consumes us all and prevents an honest conversation on race. It is the price we are paying for failing to heed the great historian Jacob Burckhardt, who said "beware the terrible simplifiers".
I grew up in that same south in the same period as Moyers. He writes the truth. I've quoted nearly the entire transcript, but I beg you to read the rest or watch the video here. As I've said before, Bill Moyers is national treasure, and I don't know if we will see his likes again in the media, probably not in my lifetime.
For another voice of sanity in the midst of the madess, I refer you once again to Rmj at Adventus, who can't let this go any more than I can let it go.
....Many of you have asked for some rational explanation for Wright's transition from reasonable conversation to shocking anger at the National Press Club. A psychologist might pull back some of the layers and see this complicated man more clearly, but I'm not a psychologist. Many black preachers I've known — scholarly, smart, and gentle in person — uncorked fire and brimstone in the pulpit. Of course I've known many white preachers like that, too.
But where I grew up in the south, before the civil rights movement, the pulpit was a safe place for black men to express anger for which they would have been punished anywhere else; a safe place for the fierce thunder of dignity denied, justice delayed. I think I would have been angry if my ancestors had been transported thousands of miles in the hellish hole of a slave ship, then sold at auction, humiliated, whipped, and lynched. Or if my great-great grandfather had been but three-fifths of a person in a constitution that proclaimed, "We the people." Or if my own parents had been subjected to the racial vitriol of Jim Crow, Strom Thurmond, Bull Connor, and Jesse Helms. Even so, the anger of black preachers I've known and heard about and reported on was, for them, very personal and cathartic.
....
But in this multimedia age the pulpit isn't only available on Sunday mornings. There's round the clock media — the beast whose hunger is never satisfied, especially for the fast food with emotional content. So the preacher starts with rational discussion and after much prodding throws more and more gasoline on the fire that will eventually consume everything it touches. He had help — people who for their own reasons set out to conflate the man in the pulpit who wasn't running for president with the man in the pew who was.
Behold the double standard: John McCain sought out the endorsement of John Hagee, the war-mongering Catholic-bashing Texas preacher who said the people of New Orleans got what they deserved for their sins. But no one suggests McCain shares Hagee's delusions, or thinks AIDS is God's punishment for homosexuality. Pat Robertson called for the assassination of a foreign head of state and asked God to remove Supreme Court justices, yet he remains a force in the Republican religious right. After 9/11 Jerry Falwell said the attack was God's judgment on America for having been driven out of our schools and the public square, but when McCain goes after the endorsement of the preacher he once condemned as an agent of intolerance, the press gives him a pass.
....
Which means it is all about race, isn't it? Wright's offensive opinions and inflammatory appearances are judged differently. He doesn't fire a shot in anger, put a noose around anyone's neck, call for insurrection, or plant a bomb in a church with children in Sunday school. What he does is to speak his mind in a language and style that unsettle some people, and says some things so outlandish and ill-advised that he finally leaves Obama no choice but to end their friendship. We are often exposed to the corroding acid of the politics of personal destruction, but I've never seen anything like this, this wrenching break between pastor and parishioner before our very eyes. Both men no doubt will carry the grief to their graves. All the rest of us should hang our heads in shame for letting it come to this in America, where the gluttony of the non-stop media grinder consumes us all and prevents an honest conversation on race. It is the price we are paying for failing to heed the great historian Jacob Burckhardt, who said "beware the terrible simplifiers".
I grew up in that same south in the same period as Moyers. He writes the truth. I've quoted nearly the entire transcript, but I beg you to read the rest or watch the video here. As I've said before, Bill Moyers is national treasure, and I don't know if we will see his likes again in the media, probably not in my lifetime.
For another voice of sanity in the midst of the madess, I refer you once again to Rmj at Adventus, who can't let this go any more than I can let it go.
You'll Never Know - Alice Faye
MadPriest has a send-in-your-song contest to see which of the favorite love songs of his readers will win a play from his vast collection of recordings - 50,000 songs, he says. I have more than one favorite love song, but I sent in "You'll Never Know", sung by Alice Faye (not Frank Sinatra or Dick Haynes) as one of my favorites. Now he's in pain and can't post often, and who knows when he will get back to the contest, and, in any case, I may not win a place of honor. Alice sang the song in a movie, "Hello, Frisco, Hello" in 1943. I saw the film at the tender age of nine, but I was already a full-blown romantic. I loved the song at the time, and I have loved it ever since. Alice, with her lovely and sexy alto voice, sings the song beautifully.
Since I was feeling impatient waiting for MadPriest, I searched for and found the movie clip of her singing the song on YouTube. Praise be! I even remembered that in the movie, she sang the song on the phone. John Payne starred opposite her in the film.
Alice married Phil Harris, the band leader in 1941, and their marriage lasted for 54 years, until Phil died. They had two children named appropriately, Alice, Jr and Phyllis. The word was that Phil liked his booze, and he joked about it himself. I don't know how much substance there was to the story, but it didn't affect his marriage nor his longevity. Alice and Phil both loved New Orleans, which, of course, endeared them to me. Can you believe that Phil's original first name was Wonga? Maybe that was the source of his comedic side.
Here's the link to her bio and to Phil's.
"China Prepares for the Olympics :>)"
I love it.
I hope you guys like to share.
I hope we all like to share.
From Doug, who says as far as he knows, these are real.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Elaine And Pain
MadPriest has a pain in the neck. I have a pain in the knee. All of this is getting to be a large PITA. I offer this bit of dialog from "Seinfeld":
ELAINE'S OFFICE - DAY
Elaine is sitting at her desk smelling a pen.
ELAINE (thinking): This pen smells really bad. So why do I keep smelling it? Is it too late for me to go to law school?
There's a knock on the door and several co-workers enter with a cake.
ELAINE: What is this?
MALE WORKER: You were out sick yesterday, so we got you a get-well cake.
FEMALE WORKER: It's carrot. It's good for you.
WORKERS (singing): Get well get well soon, we wish you to get--
ELAINE: Stop it! That's not even a song! I mean, now we're celebrating a sick day?
MALE WORKER: I think it's nice.
ELAINE: What? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!
Another worker enters late.
WORKER (singing): Get well, get well soon--
MALE WORKER: It's not happening.
They all start to leave disappointed.
BECKY: Can we still eat it?
So much for pain. Get thee away from us, Pain! I want laughs!
Do go and offer prayers and sympathy to MadPriest. He's worse off than I am.
Photo from Wiki.
"Embodied Fel(in)icity"
Today's must-read is from Tobias at In a Godward Direction. The picture above is none other than Her Royal Highness Augusta Victoria, who reigns at the rectory.
Speaking Of Knees
With two runners on base and a strike against her, Sara Tucholsky of Western Oregon University uncorked her best swing and did something she had never done, in high school or college. She hit her first home run, which cleared the center field fence.
But it looked like the shortest of dreams-come-true when she missed first base, started back to tag it, and collapsed with a knee injury.
She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch-runner could be called in, and the homer would count as just a single.
Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned their home crowd in Ellensburg by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count - an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.
First baseman for Central Washington University, Mallory Holtman:
"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said, "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."
Link to the story from Ann, who said, "I love this story - one because of the action and two - because I love softball and baseball."
I love it, too. Thanks, Ann
From CBS News.
But it looked like the shortest of dreams-come-true when she missed first base, started back to tag it, and collapsed with a knee injury.
She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch-runner could be called in, and the homer would count as just a single.
Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned their home crowd in Ellensburg by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count - an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.
First baseman for Central Washington University, Mallory Holtman:
"In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much," Holtman said, "It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run."
Link to the story from Ann, who said, "I love this story - one because of the action and two - because I love softball and baseball."
I love it, too. Thanks, Ann
From CBS News.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
New Napa Valley Wine
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as..
PINO MORE
I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE
I'll bet even Dennis, the former wine merchant, doesn't know about this one.
From the ever faithful Doug.
All About Me
With the run of news about folks with life-threatening diseases and difficult surgeries and all manner of other serious troubles, I feel rather self-indulgent posting my complaint. For the past three days, I have been housebound, because of a painful knee. I didn't fall or injure myself, except that I noticed a twinge in the knee when I was getting out of the bathtub the other day.
Later that day, as I was taking my walk, my knee began to hurt, but like a dummy, I didn't stop and head for home until I was at my turnaround point. By the time I got back home, the knee was quite painful. The next day the pain came with force. I haven't hurt this much since I broke my shoulder several years ago. Walking, standing, sitting down, lying down, no matter, it hurts. When I bend the knee or straighten it, the pain is excruciating. I can barely hobble along holding my leg stiff.
I like to take a day or two to see if nature or God will resolve a problem before rushing to the doctor, if the problem is not life-threatening, probably another dumb decision, in this instance. Anyway, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. If you will, please pray that he will find the problem and that it can be treated, preferably without a knife. Thank you.
UPDATE: From Ann comes word that St. Roch is the man for knees if you care to ask the saint to intercede.
UPDATE 2: I'm sure it would be helpful if Rowan, Scout, Clumber, and Grendel could lick my knee.
UPDATE 3: I saw the doctor, got a steroid shot, and now we shall see.
Feast Of The Ascension
Miniature from Rabbula Gospels (Mesopotamia, 6th century)
READINGS:
AM Psalm 8, 47; PM Psalm 24, 96
Dan. 7:9-14; Heb. 2:5-18; Matt. 28:16-20
COLLECT:
Almighty God, whose blessed Son our Savior Jesus Christ ascended far above all heavens that he might fill all things: Mercifully give us faith to perceive that, according to his promise, he abides with his Church on earth, even to the end of the ages; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
MadPriest at Of Course, I Could Be Wrong has posted a sermon which he titles "Liberationist Sermon for Ascension Day, May Day and International Workers' Day". That covers all the bases, don't you think? Here are a few excerpts, but please click the link and read the whole sermon.
I love the Church Calendar. The high days and holy days, and especially the seasons of the Church year. They make me feel comfortable and part of something very ancient and which will continue, hopefully, long after I’m gone. Every year the liturgy, attached, as it is, to the calendar of the Church, leads me on a journey which is paradoxically, both, always the same and, if you are open to the Spirit of God, always full of novelty and new experiences.
....
The first season of the church year to evolve was Easter. The feast days of Easter Sunday, Ascension Day and Pentecost have been celebrated for over 1700 years - we don’t know exactly how long because we don’t have the records to give us exact dates. It seems almost certain that the season of Easter ran from Easter Day to Pentecost before 300 A. D. And that is the period of time we keep to today.
....
On Ascension Day, the Church, however you wish to define it, is handed over to us. It is the parting gift of Jesus. With the Church comes adult responsibility but, on the Day of Pentecost we will discover how God will help us take on that responsibility. Easter is not yet over. Hang on in there just a little while longer.
....
There is another theme in today’s commemoration that I would like to draw your attention to as I finish this sermon, as it is a very important them for us. This year, Ascension Day has fallen on the 1st. of May. That’s purely coincidental but it’s also very useful for our education. It is May Day, an ancient festival on which we look forward to the Summer and hope for clement weather that will bring us a bounteous harvest.
If today wasn’t Ascension Day, in the Roman Catholic Church they would be celebrating the feast of Joseph the Worker and it is, most definitely, the International Day of the Worker on which the working people of the world celebrate the fact that they are people of value and when they hope for fairer wages and for precious time to be returned to them to be enjoyed with their families, friends and, in some cases, with their god.
We Christians should celebrate these festivals as well. We should celebrate May Day and pray for a bounteous harvest, especially at this time when how much we’ve messed up our environment is becoming increasingly apparent. We should celebrate with the working people and share their hopes and burdens because Jesus tells us to. But, as Christians, we also have our own hopes, and on this day when we commemorate Christ ascending to his Father, our hope, our great and certain hope, is that he will return to his people to gather in the harvest at the end of days. And our hope, as always, is that he will come soon.
Image from Wiki.
"Mission Accomplished"
Today is the fifth anniversary of George W. Bush's appearance on the aircraft carrier to announce "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq - a milestone, surely.
U.S. Troops Killed: 2003 - 139; 2008 - 4063
U.S. Troops Wounded: 2003 - 542; 2008 - 29,000
From Greg Mitchell at the Huffington Post:
Feel free to dust off all the great quotes from that day, such as Chris Matthews gushing over Bush, "He won the war. He was an effective commander. Everybody recognizes that, I believe, except a few critics." As Bush spoke before the Mission Accomplished banner, American casualties stood at 139 killed and 542 wounded. That was nearly 4000 lives lost ago, and a Rand Corp. study released this month reveals that we now have 300,000 vets with mental problems of some sort.
Just to remind you: The jet landing with Bush emerging in his flight suit and cod piece, it turned out, was a pure stunt. The White House had said that the Abraham Lincoln was too far offshore for the usual helicopter landing, but when the big moment arrived the carrier was only 30 miles off San Diego, an easy trip by copter.
Yes, "a pure stunt". That covers it. At the time, I had a brief quarrel/disagreement with my neighbor, because I said that I thought that Bush looked like a buffoon. My neighbor protested vigorously, saying that it was a great moment for Bush and for the troops and that it would serve to boost their morale immeasurably.
Our president in his great moment.
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