A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jumping across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately it's too late.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, not only is the rabbit dead, but... it's also the Easter Bunny.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees him crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of her car and asks him what's wrong.
"I feel terrible!" he explains. "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs back to her car and pulls out a spray can. Then she walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto it.
The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them, and starts to hop down the road. Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again. He hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again, until he has hopped out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and asks, "What's in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says...
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(You know you're going to be sorry.)
(Last chance.)
(OK, here it is.)
It says, "Hair Spray: Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."
Don't credit me. Credit Doug. I think this one is quite funny, and I'd like to claim it as my own discovery, but that wouldn't be right.
Monday, April 13, 2009
MadPriest's Longest Day
On the day that MadPriest and I were to meet in Newcastle, I left Leeds on the 9:05 AM train. MadPriest told me that I had to be on that train. We'd had the near miss in our previous plan to meet at Thornaby, and neither of us wanted a repetition of that.
Before the alarm went off at 6:00 AM, I awoke at 4:00 AM, anxious about the train, I suppose, and there was no falling back to sleep. I had lots of time to get dressed and drink my tea in my room and eat my cereal bars and an apple in good time to get to the train station by 8:00 AM, which I thought would be enough time to buy my ticket and find the right platform. It was. Once I boarded the train, I dutifully called MP to tell him that I had caught the right train at the right time, and that I was on my way to Newcastle.
I'm not sure I remember the exact sequence of events after I arrived in Newcastle, but I believe we walked from the station to the River Tyne, along the river (a lovely walk!) to the pedestrian bridge to the Sage Music Centre. The picture at the head of the post shows the river, the Tyne Bridge, a graceful structure, and the arched roof of the Sage beyond the bridge.
We bummed around in the city center, saw one of the oldest buildings in the city, a timbered structure, and many handsome buildings in the classical style, which were built in the 19th century. Newcastle is a compact city, and I liked that. MadPriest is an excellent guide. You'd have thought he was a professional.
If memory serves, The Cathedral of St. Nicholas was the next stop. The cathedral calls for a post of its own. There's so much to see there that this would be the post without end if I described and linked to the highlights there. It's well worth a visit. All this before lunch.
We stopped for a cuppa, tea for me, coffee for MadPriest, and to rest the feet, and then we were off to meet Mrs MadPriest for lunch at the university.
After lunch, it was on the bus to MadPriest's
At first, one of the guides took us around. She was pleasant enough except when it came time for us to go down into the crypt.
For visitors who come to Hexham Abbey in search of the past the greatest thrill of all is the Anglo-Saxon crypt. A steep stone stair descending from the nave takes you back thirteen hundred years, into rooms and passageways left intact from St Wilfrid’s original church. The only comparable crypt is beneath Wilfrid’s other great church at Ripon. Everything that he built above ground at Hexham has gone, except for carved fragments set in the walls of the nave. Only his crypt is essentially as it was first built.
She blocked the gate to the stairs down to the crypt until she recited her entire long-winded spiel. What an inspiration to watch MadPriest fight a valiant inner battle for restraint, as the lady droned on and on. In the end, he won the battle and did not shove the old lady out of the way. She did not even mention some of the coolest things we would see down in the crypt. Once again, MadPriest was an excellent guide, much better than the real guides.
Inside Hexham Abbey Crypt. Note the various stones in the wall... all reused from the Roman settlement at Corbridge, some 3 miles away.
Photo and quote from Sokabs at Flickr.
The decorative stones set in the midst of rough stones took my breath away. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but it is not.
Below is the stone stairway in the abbey.
Thirty-five worn stone steps rise from the south transept of Hexham Abbey, leading to a broad gallery behind a stone parapet, with three doorways opening from it. People have used this Night Stair through eight centuries. It was probably built early in the 13th century by masons working for the team of canons who then lived and prayed in the Priory.
I won't say an unkind word about the other guide lady in the abbey, because when nature called rather insistently, she permitted me to use the church choir's private loo, which is through one of the doors at the top of the the worn, uneven stairs. She volunteered that the choir, along with the crucifer, processed down the stairs at the beginning of services. The stairs are quite a challenge without a cross in hand. Just sayin'.
I'm giving just a few of the highlights of the riches to be found in a visit to Hexham Abbey. What can I say? Read more about it, or go visit yourself.
The post is running long, so I will hurry through the visit to St. Oswald's Church, which I was quite pleased to see, although, to get there, I had to walk across a field in a gale wind which included a light rain on the way back to the car. My knees are bad, but I can still walk.
The Battle of Heavenfield, between Oswald, King of Northumbria, and his soldiers, against the Celtic king Cadwallon and his men in the 7th century was fought on the site of the church. Oswald prayed to God to win the battle, and he did, although he fought, it is believed, against superior forces. God was on his side.
The earliest church was built in 1140, with reconstructions over the years. At the time of the visit to the church, I couldn't keep the history straight, and I probably caused MadPriest a good bit of frustration, but after doing some homework, I believe that I have a better grasp of the sequence of events.
After our windy and wet walk across the field to the car, we returned to MadPriest's
Before I left, I managed to break their towel bar, (or re-break it, for Mrs MadPriest told me that it had already been mended) and nearly forget my HANDBAG at their house, which would have meant that I'd have missed my train, which I caught with only minutes to spare, and stretched out the day even longer and caused further complications in the lives of MadPriest and his missus.
Thanks again for a lovely day, you old curmudgeon. I became a bit soppy there for a spell, and I know how you hate that.
Pastor Rick Warren - Exhausted!
From Attaturk at Eschaton:
And Rick Warren...the day his "Savior" allegedly rose from the dead, finds him too tired to rise out of bed?
I think Attaturk is one of them atheists, but ya gotta say this is funny.
UPDATE: See The Huffington Post for a possible alternative explanation.
And Rick Warren...the day his "Savior" allegedly rose from the dead, finds him too tired to rise out of bed?
I think Attaturk is one of them atheists, but ya gotta say this is funny.
UPDATE: See The Huffington Post for a possible alternative explanation.
This Is Not Good
TPM Muckraker:
Last year, the Supreme Court ruled that detainees at Guantanamo had the right to appeal their detentions in federal courts. But since then, only a few cases have been completed. And in an interview with TPMmuckraker, David Cynamon -- a lawyer for four Kuwaiti Gitmo detainees who are bringing habeas corpus claims against the government -- said that the Justice Department has been consistently dragging its heels in the case, denying detainees their basic due process rights and furthering what he called the "abandonment of the rule of law."
"The Department of Justice has been doing everything in its power to delay and obstruct these cases," said Cynamon, whose clients were picked up in the Afghanistan-Pakistan region in the period after the 2001 U.S invasion of Afghanistan. "They're not doing anything to move the case along, and doing everything to avoid it."
Asked whether he had observed a shift of any kind in the government's approach since the Obama administration came into office, Cynamon flatly replied: "None whatsoever."
Nor is this.
TPM Muckraker:
Is the Obama administration mimicking its predecessor on issues of secrecy and the war on terror?
During the presidential campaign, Obama criticized Bush for being too quick to invoke the state secrets claim. But last Friday, his Justice Department filed a motion in a warrantless wiretapping lawsuit, brought by the digital-rights group EFF. And the Obama-ites took a page out of the Bush DOJ's playbook by demanding that the suit, Jewel v. NSA, be dismissed entirely under the state secrets privilege, arguing that allowing it go forward would jeopardize national security.
....
Ken Gude, an expert in national security law at the Center for American Progress, supported the administration's invocation of the state secrets claim when it was made earlier this year in an extraordinary rendition case. But its position in Jewel is "disappointing," Gude told TPMmuckraker, calling himself "frustrated."
Gude confirmed that the Obama-ites were taking the same position as the Bushies on state secrets questions. "They've taken the maximalist view that the judge has hardly any role in determining whether national security" would be compromised by the release of classified information," he said. "There's going to be people who are very unhappy, and justifiably so."
He added: "I'm very uncomfortable with the notion that the people who get to decide [whether national security would be jeopardized] is the government."
Obama is getting bad advice, and he should know better than to listen to it. We did NOT elect him to mimic Bush on habeas corpus or state secrets.
Last year, the Supreme Court ruled that detainees at Guantanamo had the right to appeal their detentions in federal courts. But since then, only a few cases have been completed. And in an interview with TPMmuckraker, David Cynamon -- a lawyer for four Kuwaiti Gitmo detainees who are bringing habeas corpus claims against the government -- said that the Justice Department has been consistently dragging its heels in the case, denying detainees their basic due process rights and furthering what he called the "abandonment of the rule of law."
"The Department of Justice has been doing everything in its power to delay and obstruct these cases," said Cynamon, whose clients were picked up in the Afghanistan-Pakistan region in the period after the 2001 U.S invasion of Afghanistan. "They're not doing anything to move the case along, and doing everything to avoid it."
Asked whether he had observed a shift of any kind in the government's approach since the Obama administration came into office, Cynamon flatly replied: "None whatsoever."
Nor is this.
TPM Muckraker:
Is the Obama administration mimicking its predecessor on issues of secrecy and the war on terror?
During the presidential campaign, Obama criticized Bush for being too quick to invoke the state secrets claim. But last Friday, his Justice Department filed a motion in a warrantless wiretapping lawsuit, brought by the digital-rights group EFF. And the Obama-ites took a page out of the Bush DOJ's playbook by demanding that the suit, Jewel v. NSA, be dismissed entirely under the state secrets privilege, arguing that allowing it go forward would jeopardize national security.
....
Ken Gude, an expert in national security law at the Center for American Progress, supported the administration's invocation of the state secrets claim when it was made earlier this year in an extraordinary rendition case. But its position in Jewel is "disappointing," Gude told TPMmuckraker, calling himself "frustrated."
Gude confirmed that the Obama-ites were taking the same position as the Bushies on state secrets questions. "They've taken the maximalist view that the judge has hardly any role in determining whether national security" would be compromised by the release of classified information," he said. "There's going to be people who are very unhappy, and justifiably so."
He added: "I'm very uncomfortable with the notion that the people who get to decide [whether national security would be jeopardized] is the government."
Obama is getting bad advice, and he should know better than to listen to it. We did NOT elect him to mimic Bush on habeas corpus or state secrets.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter Day - St. John's In Thibodaux
Before the hungry hordes arrive, here is my little church on Easter morning. I love my church building. It's a beautiful church where people have worshiped since 1844, full of prayers of the saints who have passed on, and the saints who pray there now.
According to legend, the emperor Diocletian once tried to poison John by ordering him to drink a cup of poisoned wine. Saint John blessed the wine and the poison slithered away in the form of a snake.
The stained glass behind the altar depicts the legend, with John holding a cup with a snake rising up from it. If you click on the picture for the enlarged view, you can see the cup and the snake.
The picture below shows the Easter cross. At the beginning of the service, the children process to the front and decorate the cross with flowers. The flowers cover a plain white cross wrapped with chicken wire to hold the flowers. A former rector disliked the cross rather intensely and wanted to get rid of it, but his side of the battle was lost almost before it began, because the protests were so many and so loud that he quickly gave up his idea.
Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Alleluia, alleluia.
Thanks be to God. Alleluia, alleluia.
Easter Day - Jesus Rises
ALLELUIA. CHRIST IS RISEN.
THE LORD IS RISEN INDEED. ALLELUIA.
When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, ‘Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?’ When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, ‘Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.’ So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.
Mark 16:1-8
Almighty God, who through your only-begotten Son Jesus Christ overcame death and opened to us the gate of everlasting life: Grant that we, who celebrate with joy the day of the Lord's resurrection, may be raised from the death of sin by your life-giving Spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
(Book of Common Prayer, pp. 170-171)
¶ THE DAWNING
Awake sad heart, whom sorrow ever drowns;
Take up thine eyes, which feed on earth;
Unfold thy forehead gather’d into frowns:
Thy Saviour comes, and with him mirth:
Awake, awake;
And with a thankfull heart his comforts take.
But thou dost still lament, and pine, and crie;
And feel his death, but not his victorie.
Arise sad heart; if thou dost not withstand,
Christs resurrection thine may be:
Do not by hanging down break from the hand,
Which as it riseth, raiseth thee:
Arise, Arise;
And with his buriall-linen drie thine eyes:
Christ left his grave-clothes, that we might, when grief
Draws tears, or bloud, not want an handkerchief.
From "The Temple" (1633), by George Herbert
A BLESSED AND HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!
The painting above is another in the series titled "The Passion of Christ" by New York artist, Doug Blanchard. Doug blogs as Counterlight at Counterlight's Peculiars.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Vatican Says "No" To Caroline Kennedy
From the Telegraph:
Vatican sources told Il Giornale that their support for abortion disqualified Ms Kennedy and other Roman Catholics President Barack Obama had been seeking to appoint.
Mr Obama was reportedly seeking to reward John F Kennedy's daughter, who publicly gave her support to his election bid. She had been poised to replace Hillary Clinton as New York senator, but dropped out amid criticism that she lacked enough experience for the job.
The Italian paper said that the Vatican strongly disapproved of Mr Obama's support for abortion and stem cell research. The impasse over the ambassadorial appointment threatens to cloud his meeting with the Pope during a G8 summit in Itay in July.
Posted with no comment in the spirit of the season.
Vatican sources told Il Giornale that their support for abortion disqualified Ms Kennedy and other Roman Catholics President Barack Obama had been seeking to appoint.
Mr Obama was reportedly seeking to reward John F Kennedy's daughter, who publicly gave her support to his election bid. She had been poised to replace Hillary Clinton as New York senator, but dropped out amid criticism that she lacked enough experience for the job.
The Italian paper said that the Vatican strongly disapproved of Mr Obama's support for abortion and stem cell research. The impasse over the ambassadorial appointment threatens to cloud his meeting with the Pope during a G8 summit in Itay in July.
Posted with no comment in the spirit of the season.
A Good Good Friday?
In my family and in many families in this area, a common custom on Good Friday is to gather friends and family to eat boiled crawfish. At first I protested. "What are we doing having a party on Good Friday?" But no one paid attention, and the tradition was established and carried on - now for a good many years in our family.
Back in the day, (I know y'all get tired of hearing me say that, but all old people do it, so get used to it) we kept an austere Good Friday, often attending the three hour church service. No radio, no movies. We were encouraged to do spiritual reading only, no novels or trivia allowed. It was a solemn day.
No longer, and I've come to wonder if the old way was best, after all. I make room in my day for a church service, but I go along with good humor and enjoyment now with the Good Friday crawfish boil.
Pictured above is the greatly diminished pile of crawfish, after most folks have had their fill, although, after a little rest, some go back for seconds. You can see the other ingredients that go into the pot with the crawfish - onions, whole garlic pods, corn, potatoes, lemons, along with the many seasoning ingredients. The crawfish were delicious! My son did a terrific job of cooking them.
The only time I drink beer is when I eat boiled shrimp, crabs, or crawfish. My preference is Corona. I ate a whole pod of garlic. I couldn't resist, although I was going to church after the gathering. We were only a faithful few at the simple, but very nice, 6:00 PM service, most of the parishioners having attended the 12:00 PM service with the traditional musical drama in the churchyard preceding the service. I read two parts in the Passion narrative, the slave and the gatekeeper, but even with that, I had only two lines early on, so I could sink into the rest of the reading without having to worry that I'd miss my cue.
Below are pictures of the doggies who were at the gathering yesterday. The first is Gino, the Maltese, who belongs to my daughter and her family. Isn't he the cutest thing ever? I want one just like him. Do you think we might find a rescue Maltese? Of course, we must wait until Diana passes on, because she thinks all small animals are cats, and I fear that she would do harm to the little dog.
Pictured below are the three Bassets that belong to my son and his family. In the foreground is Trigger, the father of the family. On the right is sweet Babs, the mother, who was supposed to have died of untreatable cancer some time ago, but is still here. She seems comfortable, is apparently not in pain, and is not off her food. In the rear is the dumb son of Babs and Trigger, Junior, one of the stupidest dogs ever. If you knock on that huge head of his, it rings hollow, proof of a very small brain.
The cauldron below, attached to the butane tank, is the cooking pot for the crawfish, crabs, or shrimp. We seldom do large-quantity shrimp boils any longer, because shrimp are more expensive now.
I also use the pot to make my "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble" witch's brew for my voodoo practice.
When I was in England, I gave MadPriest a very special set of Mardi Gras beads with the ingredients for boiling crawfish strung between the beads, a tiny crawfish, a garlic pod, an ear of corn, a lemon, a potato, and even a tiny chef!
Holy Week - Jesus Among The Dead
O Lord, God of my salvation,
when, at night, I cry out in your presence,
let my prayer come before you;
incline your ear to my cry.
For my soul is full of troubles,
and my life draws near to Sheol.
I am counted among those who go down to the Pit;
I am like those who have no help,
like those forsaken among the dead,
like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
for they are cut off from your hand.
You have put me in the depths of the Pit,
in the regions dark and deep.
Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
and you overwhelm me with all your waves.
Psalm 88:1-7
O God, Creator of heaven and earth: Grant that, as the crucified body of your dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
(Book of Common Prayer, p.283)
Sweet hours have perished here;
This is a mighty room;
Within its precincts hopes have played, --
Now shadows in the tomb.
Emily Dickinson
The painting above is another in the series titled "The Passion of Christ" by New York artist, Doug Blanchard. Doug blogs as Counterlight at Counterlight's Peculiars.
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