WOUNDED BIRD

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

MORE PUN FUN

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Don't blame me. Blame susan s.

Oh my goodness! Paul (A.) sent me the same list some time ago, and it got lost in my flood of email. Then, too, I was more concerned about Paul (A.)'s injuries from slipping on the ice than about posting his list of puns. Neverthess, mea culpa! He sent them first.

PRAYERS OF THANKSGIVING FOR IRMA'S SUCCESSFUL SURGERY

Irma's surgery went well. She had to have a temporary colostomy but Dr. said surgery could not have gone better. The family feared it was cancer but none found. Thank everyone for their prayers. :) Frankie's family greatly appreciates it.

Thanks be to God, to the medical staff, and all who helped care for Irma.

Thank you all for your prayers.

O Lord, your compassions never fail and your mercies are new every morning: We give you thanks for giving our sister Irma both relief from pain and hope of health renewed. Continue in her we pray, the good work you have begun; that she, daily increasing in bodily strength, and rejoicing in your goodness, may so order her life and conduct that she may always think and do those things that please you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

UPDATE ON AILEEN:

From her husband, Mike:

OK quick update, Aileen made it to Billings, did very well on the transport. Already getting her going with OT, PT and respiratory therapy. She is already doing great. I finally saw her wiggle her toes, just a tiny bit, but it was awesome! However she did lose blood again overnight and needed a transfusion by late afternoon. But I really think this was the right move. This is a great place with wonderful staff.

Prayers of thanksgiving for Aileen along with prayers for her continued recovery and for strength and courage for Mike and all who love and care for Aileen.

STORY OF THE DAY - FIGHTING CHANCE

What do I get for this? I said & the angel
gave me a catalog filled with toasters &
clock radios & a basketball signed by
Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just
stuff & the angel smiled at me &
swallowed me in her arms. I'm so glad
you said that, she whispered to me. I
knew you still had a chance.

From StoryPeople.

GRANT STORMS SAYS HE'S SORRY

From NOLA.com.

Nearly every blogger I know scooped me on the local story of Grant Storms' shenanigans in New Orleans. I'm about burnt out with tales about men (mostly) who scream loud and long about gays and others who destroy "family values", and then get caught in compromising situations. As soon as these folks start shouting, we should watch their tracks for signs of a train wreck waiting to happen. The stories are so frequent that they are hardly newsworthy.

Though he admitted having his hands in his pants, Christian fundamentalist Grant Storms denied Tuesday that he was masturbating in a Metairie park before being arrested.

Storms addressed the allegations during a news conference in Metairie, one day after hiws arrest became public.
....

"I had my hands in my pants," he said. When asked by a reporter what he was doing with his hands, Storms answered, "I don't want to get into all that right now. That will come out in court."
....

Storms, who once called himself a "Christian patriot," gained notoriety for his fervent opposition to Southern Decadence, a three-day gay festival held in the French Quarter during Labor Day weekend. Storms and his followers used bullhorns and picket signs to protest the festival, which he has said turned the Quarter into Sodom and Gomorrah.

Storms on Tuesday apologized to those he had maligned.

So Storms apologizes. Better than not apologizing, I suppose.

He also asked forgiveness of his wife and four children, as well he should. My heart goes out to them.

And he admitted he has a problem with pornography.

THE ANGLICAN COVENANT AS FRUITCAKE

The elements of the Chicago Lambeth Quadrilateral and the Marks of Mission, and bits of Scripture and dollops of assorted Anglican Premises have been folded into the batter of the Anglican Communion Covenant like so many raisins, candied citrons, cherries, and whatever those semi-gelatinous green things are, go to form part of the conglomerate of Fruitcake.

From Tobias Haller at In a Godward Direction.

My conclusion as to whether we should adopt the covenant is a bit different from that of Tobias, but his analogy is excellent.

A PUBLIC UNION EMPLOYEE, A TEA PARTIER, AND A CEO...

A public union employee, a tea party activist and a CEO are sitting at a table with a plate of a dozen cookies in the middle of it. The CEO takes 11 of the cookies, turns to the tea partier and says, "Watch out for that union guy he wants a piece of your cookie."

Pass it on.

From AMERICAblog:

Thanks to Paul (A.).

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

TODAY IS NOT MARDI GRAS!

I removed my Mardi Gras post. Grandpère just came home and gave me the news. I need to get out more. :-(

DRIVEN BY FEAR

Malcolm+ posted at the No Anglican Covenant blog on the information coming from The Anglican Communion Office, Lambeth Palace, and Church House in Westminster:

So much of what has been driving the machinations of international Anglicanism over the past 15 years or so has been rooted in fear—fear of women, fear of LGBTQTS, fear of modernity, fear of post-modernity, fear of the loss of privilege, fear of the loss of power and influence.
....

Sadly, that is the point we’ve now reached in international Anglicanism, and in the deliberations on the proposed Anglican Covenant. Full and fair debate is no longer on the table—at least at the Anglican Communion Office, Lambeth Palace, or Church House in Westminster.

Read the rest at the NAC site.

Malcolm+ blogs at Simple Massing Priest.